48 Hours

Since this will be my last post of 2010, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to know what this blog will be about.

That's right! You've got it! Leaving 2010 with No Regrets!!

There is less than 48 hours left in 2010. This may have been your best year! This may have been your worst year. Everything may have gone as planned. Everything may have gone all wrong. Either way, if you are reading this blog, you have been given a gift. You have been given another day. Your biggest present of the season is the present. Now what will you do with it?

In 48 hours you can:

...Start and finish reading a book.

...Write a business plan.

...Create a blog of your own.

...End a bad relationship.

...Call an old friend.

...Mend a broken relationship.

...Volunteer at a shelter.

...Buy a meal for a homeless person.

...Complete an unfinished project.

...Do more.

It's not too late to leave this year with No Regrets. Do what you need to do, within the next 48 hours, so that you can live the way you want to live in 2011.

To Blog...Nakeia

The Season of Giving

Achieving success always comes down to: giving up. You don’t GET rich. You GIVE UP what’s making you broke. You don’t GET skinny, you GIVE UP what’s making you fat. You don’t GET happy, you GIVE UP what’s making you unhappy. ~Larry Winget

The idea of "giving up" is not always easy to accept. For instance, giving up the ice-cold, tingly, crisp, bubbly, goodness of a Pepsi is not necessarily a good idea to me. Yes, it makes me bloated. Yes, it's not good for my teeth. Yes, I may be digesting empty calories. But...Pepsi and I have a complicated relationship and I am not ready to call it quits.

…Enough about me.

As you prepare to move forward to 2011, with No Regrets, you must take a hard look at what you need to give up. Since this is the season of giving, I thought now would be the perfect time for you to make this commitment. Give yourself the gift of getting. Get the life you want, by giving up the things that are trying to keep you from it.

To Blog…Nakeia

Can You Handle More?

Life has a way of giving us just what we can handle. Of course if you are anything like, you can always use a bit more. But really, if you woke up tomorrow morning and everything you wanted was sitting in your living room (of course…that is if it’s not too big to fit in our living room), could you even handle it?

Better yet, could you support it?

You want a bigger house. But do you support the house or apartment you are living in now? Is it clean? Is everything in it, in working order? Are you ever there?

You want a new car. But do you support the car you have now? Is it well maintained? When is the last time you’ve washed it? Is it paid off?

Remember this. What you have now is the foundation upon which whatever you will have, in your future, must stand. If you want more, you must be able to support more. Also remember this. If you are not a good steward over what you have now, you can not be trusted with more.

Here is what you can do to make sure that you can support more:

Write a list of everything that you have but want more of, or better/bigger than.

Now complete a Support Check. Assess the condition of everything that you have. Is everything in working order? Have you put what you have now to good use? Is what you have now a strong enough foundation for more?

Of course if you have a good assessment, then more is on the way! If not, join me in making sure that you have a stable foundation. Spend the last 22 days of 2010 getting a good handle on what you already have.


To Blog…Nakeia

On Her Own...

I am proud to say…Stacy is on her own! Well, sort of…

I made a commitment to facilitate her personal development throughout the Leave 2010 with No Regrets Challenge, and she made a commitment to put in the work. She has been working, writing, thinking, and making things happen in her life! She will Leave 2010 with No Regrets for sure!

Stacy is now my maintenance program. Stacy’s goal is to start 2011 in full pursuit of her purpose and engaged in whole life development. In other words, she wanted to spend 2011 living focused, motivated, and with intention.

As part of the maintenance program, Stacy is required to complete a Weekly Mission Assessment. The assessment is simple. She sits down for 20 minutes, at the end of each week and does 3 things:

Read last week’s assessment. This is an opportunity to internalize achievements and celebrate small victories.

Make room for growth. List one thing that can be improved or taken to the next level.Create a

Must Do List for the next week. List at least 3 things that must be done by the end of the week.

Stacy emails me her assessments to me for accountability, but essentially she is doing her thing!

There is still 43 days left in 2010. You have time to leave 2010 with No Regrets! For those of you who have taken on a challenge of your own, you can perform your own Weekly Mission Assessments.

To Blog…Nakeia

Decision Remorse

I do something at least once a day that I wish I can take back or just do over. When I wake up too late, I wish I could start the day over. When I send out an email, I wish I would have said one more or one less thing. When I order the chicken, I wish I would have ordered the steak.

I wish. I wish. I WISH!

Life is full of opportunities to do things over. If I don’t like the email that was sent, I can always send a subsequent clarification email. If I don’t like the chicken, I can pout until my husband agrees to share his steak with me (‘cause his food is always better than mine). I may not like the way I started my day, but I can always end strong. Some things are not ideal, but that is the reality of REALity.

On the other hand, there are those life choices that we just have to live with. There are words spoken that can never be un-spoken. There is time that passes, that can never be rewound. Most of the things we do can not be undone. Some things are not ideal, but that is the reality of REALity.

You can drastically reduce the number of choices that you make and end up regretting by implementing some decision making guidelines. The guidelines should be made custom to your lifestyle and thought process. No one person processes things alike. I, for one, am a quick thinker. The longer I wait to make a decision, the harder it is for me to make it. Others like to take their time.

Here are 2 general guidelines that everyone can follow:

Create your own personal decision making guidelines.

Guideline example: I will wait 24 hours before making a decision.

Only make intentional decisions. There should be a purpose attached to every decision you make. If you want to avoid decision remorse, put some thought into it. To make sure you are making an intentional decision, complete the following statement:

Making a decision to _________ will __________________________________in my life.

Those 2 guidelines are simple and effective. You can use them as a foundation for setting guidelines of your own.

To Blog…Nakeia

Just Get There

The road one takes to through life is not always a smooth ride. I am still not sure why that doesn’t go with out saying. If you have gotten into a car, and taken a ride to anywhere land, you should know exactly what I mean. You may travel the same route to work everyday, but on any given day, a bump, some litter, an animal, or a detour may surface…without warning. So what do you do? Do you stop, turn around, drive home, and get back into bed? Or do you go around it, through it, over it, or find another way to get you to where you need to be?

You may be thinking… how can you compare a daily commute to work, to a commute through this thing called life. Well, I will tell you how. Simply put it into perspective. Both are about getting from where you are, to where you need to be. How smooth the may or may not be along the way really doesn’t matter.

Just get there.

To Blog…Nakeia

Planning Made Easy

The more I try to convince people to create an action plan, the more I realize how intimidating creating an action plan can be for some. No matter how easy I say it is…there is always someone that just can’t get past the fear of committing their dreams to paper and following up with some action.

As with life, planning can be as simple or as complicated as one makes it. I, for one, spend most of my time making my life as simple as possible. So when it comes to planning, I have four simple guidelines that I follow.

Define the goal.
In statement form, I write down what I intend to accomplish.

Research the area of interest.
I begin a regime of organized study. I find out exactly what it will take for me to accomplish my goal.

Prepare to take action.
Once I know what I want to do and what it will take to do it, I prepare an action schedule. That schedule simply details what I will do, each day, to move closer to accomplishing my goal.

Begin with the end in mind.
With tunnel vision, I direct my attention and intention towards what I want to accomplish.
Mentally seeing myself accomplishing my goals motivates me to push forward toward an expected end.

Those guidelines are simple, yet effective! I use them to create an action plan for my personal and professional life and it works every time. If you have had difficulty creating your action plan, give these guidelines a try.

To Blog…Nakeia

Write It Down!

As you join me in committing to Leave 2010 With No Regrets, here is a quick tip to assist you in your efforts.

WRITE IT DOWN!

If you have been following my blogs at all, you know this is a BIG deal for me. But…trust me, it works! Committing your thoughts, personal goals, grocery lists, and business ideas to paper, will change your life!

Here are three proven benefits to writing things down:

It focuses your attention.
Your entire body must be present in order to take the time to sit and write something down. You will also need your entire body to be present to turn the words you commit to paper into action. Those moments of focus can also be used to meditate. Once you have written your thoughts down, you can read over it every morning to help focus your daily efforts.

It acts as a memory booster.
Studies show that if you write something down, you are more likely to remember it. Remembering the reason you want to change will keep you on track. Reading what you have written down will also take you back to how you felt when you were writing it. That feeling of determination and drive will motivate you to continue moving forward.

It creates a permanent record.
I started the Leave 2010 With No Regrets Challenge because I got tired of seeing the same things on my New Years Resolution list. I had created many permanent records of the things I wanted to change, achieve, and conquer, but never did. Now I write things down to create a permanent record of the things I need to change, achieve, and conquer, and I do just that!

I just gave you 3 good reasons why you should spend this weekend writing down your plan to Leave 2010 With No Regrets. It is not enough to think about it. You must create a written plan that is followed by ACTION. There are 63 days left in 2010! It is not too late for you to join the challenge. You don’t have to carry your past into your future! If you start today, you can start the New Year with a NEW YOU!

To Blog…Nakeia

Challenge Update!!!

I recently shared an important session with Stacy, my pick for the Leave 2010 With No Regrets Challenge. She is well on her way to closing out this year completely content with the direction of her life. Stacy has been diligent in her efforts to maintain her focus, keep the insignificant opinions of other at bay, and move forward with her professional goals. I am extremely hopeful that her life will remain on track. Unfortunately, some unpleasant circumstances from Stacy's past have resurfaced, and she was thrown off track for a moment.

The difficulty that Stacy was trying to work through was, quite honestly, self-inflected. She is comfortable admitting that before committing to her personal development goals, she would make major life decisions on a whim. She wouldn’t give much thought to the consequences of her decisions and when things didn’t work out, for some reason, she would be surprised…really.

I kept asking Stacy this question, what have you learned? Even after the work we have done together she still had a hard time coming up with an answer that I would accept. At first she blamed others and then she blamed herself. But I helped her realize that there is no lesson in the game of blame. Eventually, her lesson was learned and she made it through the difficult moments, confident that she can face whatever’s next.

Here is what I learned about the, what have you learned, question:

In order to answer the question, you must get past the surface. It’s not just about the present circumstance. You must look at what led up to it. If you have made one bad major decision, more than likely, there have been others.

In order to answer the question, you must locate the start of the pattern. There is a spark that
ignites every fire. You must find out why you make the decisions you make.

In order to answer the question, you must be willing to admit to wrong doing. Being wrong isn’t easy. That is especially true when being wrong causes pain. Admitting what is wrong about you will lead you on the path that is right.

Those are just a few reasons why it is important to recognize the opportunity that learning life lessons can bring. Every time you are face to face with difficulty, you are also standing face to face to face with opportunity. You are giving the opportunity to move forward with the tools needed to do better next time.


To Blog…Nakeia

Challenge Update (Re-Focus Your Focus)

What area of your life gets the most attention?

Throughout the course of the day, where is your focus?

The thing that you concentrate your effort, attention, or emphasis on the most, is the thing that will be clearly developed in your life.

Stacy, my pick for the Leave 2010 With No Regrets Challenge, has decided that not being able to focus on her own personal and professional development has been her biggest regret. So, her goal for the next 95 days is to Re-focus her Focus. Stacy is going to re-adjust her vision in order to see her life’s purpose clearly. Over the past couple of weeks, she has discovered that her need to please others, her over extended daily routine, and her lack of clarity concerning her professional career has clouded her vision. Believe it or not, she has come to this discovery by doing less. Instead of being busy, she has learned to be productive. Instead of just listening to the advice of family and friends, she is listening to herself. Instead of focusing her effort, attention, and emphasis on the things that are going wrong in her life, she has re-focused her attention on the things that she wants to go right.

It is easy to get out of focus. Daily routines, family commitments, and unpleasant circumstances get in the way. But remember, the thing that you focus or concentrate on the most, is the thing that will be clearly developed in your life. For example, if you focus your attention on your lack of fluid income, you can not focus on ways to create a positive flow of income. Your focus or area of concern must be on the thing that you want to happen in your life.

Here is an exercise I gave to Stacy:

Write a list of things that typical go wrong throughout the course of one day. Create a list that spans an entire day from morning until evening (i.e. wake up late, traffic, can’t find parking, etc). Once you have completed your list, start the next day by focusing on the opposite of everything on your list. You can do this by creating a list that opposes the original list (i.e. wake up on schedule, no traffic, find parking, etc).

That is not an exercise in attitude, but in focus. If your attention is directed toward waking up on schedule so that you can avoid heavy traffic and find reasonable parking that is exactly what will develop into a regular routine.

Create a list of your own so that you can Re-focus your focus.

To Blog…Nakeia

Challenge Update!

I have been working with Stacy for just about two weeks now and she has come a long way in such a short period of time! The only thing I assigned her to do was to sit and listen to her self twice a day. Just doing that opened Stacy’s eyes to the fact that, she has been heavily influenced by outsiders.

Stacy's words:
I almost didn’t recognize my own inner voice. I have been worried about--- and listening to what other people say for too long. I haven’t been living my life. I have been living the life everyone else wanted for me.

Can you relate? Has the voice of outsiders been drowning out your own voice?

Beware of outsiders!
An outsider, within this context, is someone who is not directly attached to your purpose, plan, and intentions for your life; someone whose power and influence will not add value to your life; and someone whose life does not exemplify success, contentment, and wholeness. No ones voice should be more influential to yours. You will not succeed at living a life that is designed by someone else.

Here are a few questions that will indicate whether or not you are too heavily influenced by outsiders:

When you get an idea, do you call someone to validate it?
When making a decision, do you worry about what someone else will think?
When you have decided on an action, can someone easily talk you out of doing it?
How much of what you have done this week, was your idea?
Are you living the life you chose?

Moving forward, to ensure that you are hearing your own voice and living the life you desire, ask this question before making your next move:

Am I doing this because I want to or because an outsider wants me to?


To Blog…Nakeia

My Pick

I don’t even know who I am anymore.
I need to change, but I don’t know where to start.
This…isn’t me!

Those are the words of my pick for the Leave 2010 With No Regrets Challenge. She is a 30 something… wife, mother, and aspiring business owner. Her family has suffered a huge negative shift in their finances, and she is feeling extremely overwhelmed.

5 or 6 years ago I knew who I was and what I wanted. I was upbeat, energetic, and full of ideas. I was the one that everyone came to for advice…and now I am coming to you.

Most people who make the--- I don’t even know who I am anymore statement live their lives as characters, rather than taking the time to actually develop personal character. They create a persona that is based upon how they look, what they have accomplished, how much money they have in the bank, and how others see them. I know this to be true because whenever you ask them to describe who they were before, they say things like:

People loved me...
I used to go out more…
I would never go around looking like this before…

Those phrases have everything to do with the surface. Those are assumed identifiers and there is nothing distinctive about them. If someone was to ask for a description of me and I said, people love me, I go out, and I always look nice, what would that tell you about me?

In the case of my pick for the challenge, who I will call Stacy, she allowed her material gains, the amount of people surrounding her, and ultimately her personified self to define who she was. And when she could no longer keep up the appearance, she became unrecognizable to herself.
Now let me just say there is much, much more to Stacy. She is well educated, a dedicated wife and mother, and has a wonderful idea for a business. In order for me to find that out, however, I had to dig past the persona to find the Stacy that has been waiting for her opportunity to thrive.

Stacy’s first assignment is to spend time with her neglected self. I say neglected because she hasn’t spent much time in self reflection, assessment, or realization. For the next two weeks she will spent 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night, sitting alone and saying nothing. By doing this, the real Stacy will feel permitted to speak and eventually she will begin recognize her.

More of Stacy’s journey to come…


To Blog…Nakeia