Common Sense Is Not So Common

Most people do things that make no sense.

They live in houses they can’t afford, stay in relationships that make them miserable, clock in to jobs they hate, eat foods that make them sick, and take whatever life gives them instead of asking for what they want---and probably deserve.

Now I know that you would never do any of those things, but maybe you can think of a “friend” who does.

What if I told you that you, I mean your “friend” could change you whole life by implementing one major principle. You, I mean your friend, could have financial freedom, positive relationships, prosperous careers, good health, and you could start getting everything you want---and deserve out of life, by simply doing what make sense. It’s true, with a healthy dose of common sense, your life can be better---much better.

If you want better in life and are not afraid to admit that you don’t always do things that make sense, here is your approach:

Before you approach your next decision, goal, or personal/professional relationship ask your self this questions:

What would make sense, does this make sense, or am I using good ole’ common sense?

Those questions, if applied correctly, and answered honestly can be life changing.

To blog…Nakeia

No More IFs

If---if had a shadow, it would look like failure.

Whenever you hear a people speak of their perceived failure, the word if is always present.

IF I had money…
IF I had more time…
IF I were younger…
IF I had different parents…

…and those I just the ones I’ve used.

The one thing that everyone that has ever failed at any time has in common is:

They know the reasons why.

They believe that the ifs explain away their lack of achievement.

I understand the temptation to cling to the ifs. It seems as if it shields you from the full implications of failure. But what it actually does is leave you standing in the shadows of what could have been your shinning moments in life.

IF you had been more persistent…
IF you had not given up…
IF you had trusted yourself more…
IF you came out of the shadow…

…what could you have achieved?

To step out of the shadows and into your success, here is your approach:

Take the ifs out of your vocabulary. The word if is used to indicate the circumstances that would have to exist in order for something to happen. Sometimes circumstances are uncontrollable conditions. You may not be able to control the circumstance, but you can always control you actions toward it.

Do it anyway! Whenever you feel the temptation to use the word if to explain why you are making a choice not to do something, do it anyway. Leave your explanations in the shadow and demand your shinning moment.

If you take the ifs out of your vocabulary, as it pertains to your success, and do what ever it is you need to do, despite the circumstance, you will experience more shinning moments in your life and failure will no longer be an option.

To Blog…Nakeia

Get Things Done

At least twice a week some mommy, some wife, some business owner, some purpose seeker, or some random person will ask me how I find time to get things done.

This week in particular, an old friend sent me a facebook message asking me how many hours a week I worked.

The answer is always different, because I have to adjust my schedule, on a moments notice, due to the fact that I am a mommy, a wife, a multi-business owner, a purpose seeker, and sometimes I am very random.

There are, however, a few things that always remain the same; and if you are trying to make sense of your schedule and really get things done, here is a great approach:

Wake up early/Go to bed late. This approach is by far the most important for me and the most difficult ALL AT THE SAME TIME. But the bottom line is, if I am going to get anything significant accomplished, I am going to have to do it when no one else is awake. You can decide to wake up early in the morning to work, stay up late to work, or join me in doing both. Just commit to carving out the time you need to get things done.

Turn off the television/unplug the phone. I don’t think this needs explaining. But, just in case, it can be explained by answering this question: How much time did you spend watching television and/or on the phone today that could have been spent getting things done? If you have wasted even a second of your life doing either or both of those things, when you could have been getting things done, you know what you need to do.

Check-in often. There are three times during my day that I take the time to check in. This is especially important for work at-home-moms and entrepreneurs. When left to our own devices it’s easy to get distracted by everyday occurrences. Checking in with your daily planner will help you stay on task and keep you far from distractions. I check in once my oldest child has left for school, after I have prepared lunch, and once again when everyone has gone to bed.

These strategies seem simple. But the simple and effective things that most people overlook, is exactly what people who need to get things done need to do. Implementing these three quick strategies, today, will help you get more done than you have all week!


To Blog…Nakeia

Making My Way Through

I am the oldest of 6 siblings. However, I was raised in my home as an only child for most of my life. Let's just say I am no stranger to me time and I value that time very much.

Now that I am a wife and mother of two, I can only grab me time if I wake up at 5am.

For the past month or so, I have been working through some difficult times. Anyone that ever attempts to become a master of their life understands that difficulty is unavoidable. It is impossible to master a skill without putting it through a test. I don’t know about you, but I have rarely met an easy test.

I am proud to say that no matter how difficult the times or the test, I always win. I spent my me time this morning going over my wins as a means of encouraging myself through this time and here is what I discovered:

What makes me a better mentor to those struggling to make sense of their lives, a better mother to my two children, a better wife, a better sister, a better friend, and a better blogger, is my ability to work my way through to the other side.

You see, if you are facing difficulty or struggle, it is because you are heading in the direction of something that is it’s opposite. The opposite of difficulty is ease. You just have to make your way through. Once you master a skill to the point of ease, the next time you make an attempt at mastery, of any kind, will feel easier and easier.

If you have been met with difficulty of any kind and need some encouragement as you make your way through, From Strength to Struggle is a great post for you to read today.


To Blog…Nakeia

Get What You've Always Wanted

Most people don’t get what they want in life simply because they don’t know what they want.

The most important discoveries you will ever experience in life is:

…Coming into the full realization of who you are.
…Uncovering the revelation of what you are here to do
…Identifying exactly what you want to experience in life.
…Understanding exactly what you need to fulfill your desires.

I believe that you only really start living life, when you approach it seeking out those discoveries. If you frequent my blog, twitter, or facebook homes, you know that I teach that approach to motivated men and women who have struggle with achieving specific goals, making better decisions, and cultivating positive relationships.

Last week I received an email from a woman who said that she knows that she is supposed to be a business owner, move to a new state, marry and become a mother---all within the next 2 years. Now personally, I believe that can happen---but I wasn’t so sure she did. I asked her what kind of business she wanted to start, and she said she doesn’t know. I asked her what state she wanted to move to, and she said she didn’t know. Finally I asked her if she was in a relationship or had a love interest, and she said not really.

That type of email is not uncommon. The truth is many---many people simple have no idea what they want. They just know they want something.

So let me ask you. What do you want…really?

Are you in the relationship that you want? Are you living in the house that you want? Are you thriving in the career that you want?

If you don’t have what you want and want to change that today, here is your approach:

Decide what you want. Go back to the days when you and your young friends would talk about what you were going to be in life. Reconnect to your dreams and visions.

Look for opportunities to receive. When you make a decision and focus your efforts toward it, you will begin to see things differently. Don’t ignore what you see. Be open to new opportunities

Don’t let anyone talk you out of what you want. When you make a decision to undergo a major change in your life, your true supporters will be revealed. Don’t allow those that mean you no good talk you out of seeking what you and getting it.

Don’t settle for less than what you want. Settling is a bad habit that only leads to more settling. The moment you let go of what you want accept what you don’t want, you cut off opportunities effort your success. Simply don’t do it! You deserve to have exactly what you want.

Before you can begin to experience the life you deserve, you have to know what you want. Take the time to get to know your self more. By taking this approach, you will begin to see significant changes in your life.

To Blog…Nakeia

How Do You See Your Glass?

Do you see the glass as half empty or half full?

Before you answer, let me explain the expression.

The typical purpose of the question is to demonstrate that the situation may be seen in different ways depending on one's point of view and that there may be opportunity in the situation as well as difficulty. Seeing the glass as half full denotes optimism and half empty denotes pessimism.

In my practice I like to view the expression from a completely different angle. Why? …Because I’m completely different of course.

When approaching success of any kind, what matters, most, is what you do. You can plan all you want---prepare all you want---affirm all you want--- and be as optimistic as you want--- but if you don’t do something, everyday, towards achieving your desired success, you will continue to stay right where you are.

Some people look at life just being grateful that things are not that bad. These people say things like “oh well, things could be worse.” You may have also heard these people say something like “at least I have a job” or “at least my situation isn’t that bad.” These people think they are being optimistic and they view the glass as half full. That view may be very well for someone who likes to live their life in an “oh well, at least” position. These people are content and okay with staying right where they are---because at least their life is halfway successful.

Then there are people that are not content with half of anything. These people say things like “this is good, but I can make it even better.” You may have also heard these people say something like “I need a career and not just a job” or "I need to get this situation under control before it gets any worse.” These people are also optimistic even though they see the glass as half empty. People who adopt this world view spend their lives doing more and being better---because half just isn’t good enough.

Seeing the glass half empty can work to your advantage when you have a definite goal in mind, because you productively seek opportunities to fill your glass. You use the half way point as your cue to dig deeper and push harder.

If you are stuck at the half-way point in your life, here is your approach to peaking through your plateau:

You have been half-full for way too long. Seek new opportunities to fill your life and you will fulfill your goal. Remain optimistic, but remember that what you consistently do to make things happen in your life will ultimately be the difference between a life that is half empty and half full.

Dig deeper and push harder. When you find your self at the half way mark, that means the hard work of getting started and establishing your system is over and your success id just ahead.

Don’t just be content with where you are; push through to where you want to be.


To Blog…Nakeia

You Just Don't Want To...

You don’t do what you don’t want to do.

Let me explain. Every thing that you have ever said, done, and thought has been because you wanted to say it, do it, or think it.

You may be thinking:

Well that is obvious.

Unfortunately, that is not so obvious to many.

For some reason, people choose to believe someone or something else is responsible for their lives. The fact of the matter is that we are all 100% responsible for our own lives. That means every action we have ever taken has been because, ultimately, it was what we wanted to do.

You don’t do what you don’t want to do.

If you don’t want to read a book because you want to get some rest, you can’t say you want to read but you are tired. You want to sleep. You don’t want to read.

If you don’t want to get up an hour earlier in the morning to work on your business because you need your rest, you can’t say you want to start your own business but you don’t have time. You want to sleep. You don’t want to start a business.

If you want to create a change in your life, you must be honest with yourself about what you are willing to do. If you are not doing something because you are tired, stressed, scared, busy, or whatever your excuse, replace those excuses with the phrase:

I don’t want to do it.

That is the truth.

It’s totally okay to just admit to not wanting to do something. Taking 100% responsibility for your life is all about getting clear or what you want to do as well as what you don’t want to do.
Just know that if you do something, something happens and if you do nothing, nothing happens.

Here is your approach to replacing your excuses with the truth:

Replace your excuses with the truth.

Profound!


To Blog…Nakeia

3 Ways to Prepare to Do Your Thing

Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
Opportunity…
Oh, no! I’m not ready…I didn’t knock you were coming!
Opportunity isn’t always convenient. That is why we must always be prepared.

Being prepared means, figuratively, sitting by the window in the front of your house--- with your coat on and your bags packed---just waiting for opportunity to knock--- so you can open the door.

On your Mark
Get set
Go!

Being prepared means, figuratively, being at the starting line, in the runner’s stance---waiting to hear the gun shot, and being in good enough shape to not just start running ---but to be able to finish the race

Being prepared means you are willing, ready, and well able to do your thing at a moments notice. Most people think that they are prepared because they want to do something or are willing to do something.

I learned this principle from an old mentor years ago:

It’s not whosoever will, but whosoever CAN.

Here is your approach to applying that principle and being prepared to do your thing:

Get clear on what you are preparing for.
In other words, get a clear understanding of what you want to achieve, do, or complete, how to go about it, and exactly how you’re going to get it done. Many people skip the “exactly how”, which is why many people are unprepared.

Prepare to become an expert.
Knowledge alone is not power. Being able to practically implement what you know is power. Most people don’t care how you do your thing; they just want to know that you can get it done. That is why being prepared by positioning yourself as an expert is extremely important.

Be prepared to finish.
Everyone begins somewhere. But, you can’t stop where you begin. If you are a start up company or approaching a new goal, of any kind, you need to begin with the end in mind. You need to have all of your resources, products, services, execution details, and everything and anything that you may need waiting in the wings. When it’s time for you to grow or move on to the next phase in your process, you need to be prepared to proceed---not trying to figure out what’s next.

Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
Opportunity…
...Are you Prepared?

To Blog...Nakeia

Nothing to Loose...Everything to Gain

When you have nothing to loose, you have everything to gain. That is why many people experience their biggest breakthroughs and turn a rounds during the most difficult times in their lives. When you have nothing, your desire to acquire is fueled by your needs. If you are anything like me, when you need something, you do what is necessary to get it.

People who have nothing to loose:

Take more risks
Exhaust their resource
Roll with the punches

If you want to experience a complete turn a round in your life, you are going to have to take more risks. You are your greatest investment. And just like all other investments, you need to do the research, consider your options, and go for it. Besides, if you have nothing and you loose, all you can actually loose is NOTHING.

Your resources are your source of help, your backup, your solution, and your non-conventional commerce. Your talent and gifts will take you places your education may not. Who you know is sometimes more important that what you know. And if you really need a breakthrough in your life, you must ask, seek, and knock. People who have nothing to loose will endure the many no’s just to get to the one yes!

People who ask the question…What do I have to loose?… have probably experienced a few punches that have knocked them down. If you have been hit by life more than once, then you know what it’s like to get back up. People who have nothing to loose, take the hits and roll with the punches. In an actual fight, people who have nothing to lose are the scariest to go up against. They have a I’m going to do whatever ever I need to do to win attitude, and it may be the last round, but those kind of people usually when.

Here is Your Approach:

If you have nothing to loose, you really only have everything to gain. Consider your need---whatever it is---you are going to have to do what you need to do to get it.

Start by taking more risks. You have been held back by fear, doubt, and uncertainty. One thing that’s certain is that if you have nothing, you risk nothing, therefore you loose nothing.

Exhaust your resources. Find other people, other options, and do something different, to get what you want. If what you have been doing was going to work, it would have done so by now. Keep asking, seeking, and knocking.

Finally, toughen up and roll with the punches. If you know what it’s like to get knocked down, then you know what it’s like to get back up. Develop an I’m going to do whatever ever I need to do to win attitude and keep fighting until the last round!


To Blog…Nakeia

Over Night Success

Are you willing to loose sleep over it?

Your job, your career, your hobby, your purpose---are you willing to work so earnestly at mastering it, that you literally sacrifice your sleep to get things done?

Some people lie awake all night worrying about their bills, their relationships, and their level of success. Others spend their nights in motion as they plan, develop, and craft their way to their desired level of success.

Some people allow their circumstances to completely exhaust them.
Others exhaust every resource, opportunity, and connection to change their circumstances.

Achieving significant success is not always an easy task. It requires commitment, revelation, and most importantly---action.

You may need to work a 9-5 during the day; and work 6-10 on your business and an exit plan at night. If you are like me, you may need to take care of your home and children during the day and then put them to bed and work on your business through the night. You may need to work all week making connections and creating content; and then spend your weekend taking courses that will make you an expert in your field.

If you are not willing to loose sleep over it, then I am here to tell you, you don’t really want it.

If you have sacrificed your sleep to study, research, create, and build for the sake of your significant success, these words are for you:

People don’t become successful overnight, but over night many successful people become.

Here’s your approach:

If you have questions about what you really want to do with your life, create a list of the things you are doing currently and the things you are considering. Once you have created your list, put a star next to the things you would be willing to sacrifice your weekends, after-work time, and even sleep to master and then put them to the test.


To Blog…Nakeia

The Uncommon Life

Ordinary just isn’t good enough for me. I don’t know how to be common, unremarkable, usual, or customary. That is why I have always had a hard time fitting in.

I spent the first half of my life apologizing for standing out in a crowd. I wouldn’t raise my hand in class or seminar when I knew the answer to the question being asked so people wouldn’t think---that I thought---I had all of the answers.

I would often ease into a room unassumingly as not to call attention to myself; because I was worried people would mistake my happy confidence for apparent superiority.

Now I am all grown up. Actually, let’s face it, I’m pretty old now---- and I have come to realize that confining myself to an image that will make others comfortable, not only limits me but it is a disservice to those who need me to be authentically me.

In the industries that I work in, both in entertainment and in personal development, people pay me to be uncommon, stand out in a crowd, have the answers they need, and command a room! Ironic, isn’t it?

People are attracted to authenticity. However uncommon, remarkable, and unusual you may be, if you are shown to be trustworthy and genuine, people will welcome you into their space. In a crowded room, the person who stands out will also be the person everyone wants to meet. In the marketplace the business that is remarkable and unusual will also be the business---with the most---business.

Many are in search of purpose. People are tired of life as usual. You want to live a bolder, better, UNCOMMON life!

Well, you have my permission to raise your hand, call attention to yourself, and please, by all means, be unapologetically authentic!

Here’s your approach to an unordinary---uncommon life:

Get comfortable in your own skin. Being authentically you may make a few others uncomfortable, but that is their issue and not yours. Being naturally confident is not the same as being superior in nature. When you surround yourself with the right people, those people will be confident too and welcome you into their space.

Serve others by being who you are. Never forget that someone else is depending on you to succeed. Your confidence, your talents, and your unique purpose have not been entrusted to you---just for you. Embrace the things that make you stand out from the crowd, because one day someone will want to pay you for it.

To Blog…Nakeia

Happy Moments

I just started a twitter and facebook fan page a couple of weeks and I am far from a savvy tweeter, but I am leaning. If you follow me on twitter @nakeiachomer or if you are a fan on facebook, then you know that at the end of each day, I ask the question:

What was your happiest moment of the day?

That question started with me about 3 years ago when I found myself complaining more than usual. I don’t think it’s healthy to complain at all, but at that particular time in my life, every time I opened my mouth it was to complain.

That complaining went from constant lip service to an actual physical feeling of constant unhappiness. Because complaining is an outward expression of unhappiness or discontent, what I was verbalizing outwardly was just a manifestation of what I was feeling internally. I found myself frowning all of the time and literally waking up and looking for something to complain about.

I remember receiving a text message from a client asking for some emotional support during a moment of struggle, and ignoring her text. In that moment I said to myself I am not the right person for her to talk to today. Really? If- I- was not- the right-person- for her- to talk to- then- who- was?

At that moment I sat down and began a list of just 5 things that I was happy about. That list of 5 turned into a list of 25 and before I went to bed that night I asked myself the question:

What was your happiest moment of the day?

I have asked myself and my family that question every night since then. In order to come up with an answer every night, I had to search for happy moments sometimes. If I smiled or laughed, if I felt content or satisfied, I would wonder if one of those times would be my moment of complete happiness for the day. Because I wouldn’t allow myself to go to bed without defining a happy moment, I would create one by thinking of a joke so I could laugh out loud or I would go and have a conversation with my 6 year old because she always makes me happy.

All of the wasted energy I used to complain, I now use to find reasons to be happy. In the midst of a bad day, I make a choice to be happy.

Here’s your approach:

If you find yourself complaining about the things you are unhappy about, challenge yourself to find just one thing that made you feel happy that day. Make a commitment to yourself not to go to bed without defining a happy moment. It will be hard to find things to complain about when you are looking for reasons to be happy.

To Blog…Nakeia

Dream Protection Program

I have probably shared this with you before--- but there is one phrase I distinctively remember hearing from my grandmom as a child. I had big hopes, big ideas, and BIG DREAMS for my life and whenever I would share them with my grandmom, she would say “I hope you get everything you want in life.” Now when she said that I knew she didn’t really think it would happen. She was doing her best to be supportive, but the tone of her voice said it all. I think she thought my big dreams were too big for my reality. If you ask her about it, she may have a different take on that phrase but this is my story and I’m sticking to it.

As a mother of a six year old daughter, I now have the privilege of hearing her BIG DREAMS. When she shares her hopes, ideas and big dreams with me, I make it a point to sound as excited as I feel about my own dreams when I respond to hers. She wants to become a doctor and discover a cure for cancer and I don’t doubt for a second that she can do it! I want her to feel free to dream as big as she possibly can and as her mother I have the responsibility of protecting her dreams until she can protect them herself. I remind her of them when she doesn’t feel like doing her home work. I buy her toys for budding doctors and play “doctor and patient” with her. Last month, I caught her doodling Dr. Kai in her note and I almost cried!

Protecting your dream is a must! It seems simple enough but sometimes our reality makes it difficult for us to reconcile our dreams with what we actually see in our lives everyday. We have to learn to shield our dreams from delays, denials, and detours. We have to make our dreams “NO” proof. We even have to protect our dreams against self-doubt, self-sabotage, and self-imposed limits.

I have spoken with many people who suffered through 2011. Houses were repossessed. Businesses were closed. Marriages were ended. Careers were ruined. Your dream can be the remnant of all of that chaos. When the dust settles your dream can still be standing. All you need is a cause and a plan!

Here are three quick things you can implement today to protect your dream:

Meditate on it. Make it the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of at night. What you make a priority in your mind because a reality in your life.

Speak highly of it. The worst thing you can do is belittle your dream. Write it out on a piece of paper and frame it. Make it the visual focal point f your office, bedroom, or car dashboard.

Act on it. Take daily action toward making your dream a reality. Spend 30 minutes each day doing something concerning it. You can enroll in a course that will help you become an expert at it.

Whatever you do, keep the dream alive! Big Dreamers experience BIG Lives!

I also wrote about dreams here and here.

What dream have you failed to protect? What will you start doing, today, to protect it? How can I help?


To Blog…Nakeia

Something Different for the New Year

Last year this time I was working with Stacy. She was chosen to be apart of my Leave 2010 with No Regrets program. Her goal was to end 2010 living with her purpose in mind and intention as her driving force. I must say, Stacy came a long way. She had to work through some serious issues to get to the core of what she really wanted for her life, but she did that--- and some. She even enlisted a few of her friends and started a group that I have had the pleasure of facilitating throughout this year. We titled the group Purpose Seekers (very original, right.?).

Anyway, it was my pleasure to work with Stacy and her group this year and I look forward to working with them in 2012. Go Stacy!

I’ve decided to do something different this year. Instead of mentoring someone through ending the year strong, I have decided to share with you how I spent 2011 achieving a huge goal of my own. This idea came about after meeting many men and women this year with huge ideas and huge goals but absolutely nothing to show for it. I met a man who ran a multi-million dollar real estate company that went under with the economy. He had an idea for a book on how to survive the housing crisis. I met a women who has successfully self-published five books. She had an idea to host a few workshops on how to successfully self-publish a book. I could tell you more stories about more people with more ideas, but I think you get the point.

Here’s the thing, having huge ideas that you are able to brag about at networking events isn’t enough. I don’t want to hear about what you want to do. I want to see what you are doing. There are some people with well intended ideas and goals, including myself, but if you don’t do something about it, all you will ever have is your idea or goal and not a success story. I use to say intention is everything. However, this year I realized that intentional action is everything.

So, with all of that in mind I have decided to share with you the action I took, in 2011, to take my idea for this blog and expand my business by turning it into programs designed to help motivated men, women, teens, find significant success through simple common sense strategies and systems. Now my goal was a professional one, but I was only able to achieve it by working through some personal issues of my own and following a strategic personal development approach.

I am excited to share so stay tuned…

What goal did you achieve in 2011? What are your intentions for 2012?

To Blog… Nakeia

Praise for the BFF

I had the chance to spend a few hours away from my new Lil’ Mister last weekend. My BFF (yes, some people over the age of 30 still refer to their life-long friends as BFF’s) picked me up and we shopped, talked, and laughed a little. It was great! We have known each other since we were 10 years old and even though we don’t speak everyday---or every week, I can always count on her for honesty, support, and some good old girl talk. And if you know anything about me or my blog, it should not surprise you to hear that I even managed to squeeze in a bit of personal development.

You see, she had recently achieved a major personal accomplishment without even realizing it. After hearing about it I immediately began to celebrate with her and by me celebrating her, it seemed as if she felt a sense of permission to celebrate herself.

It was great! It was also enlightening. I realized two things:

1. Adults need praise too. As a mother of two, praise has been on autopilot in our home for years. Whenever my daughter---and now my son does something new, wonderful, unique, or just plain cute. We praise them with rewards, compliments, kisses, and hugs. They feel validated and worthy. It also cultivates positive behavior and increases the chances of them doing something praise worthy in the future. The same actually applies to adults. As an administrator, I often used praise to encourage a positive and productive work- flow among my employees. I use it now with my clients and as a speaker and mentor. However, I didn’t always pay as much attention to the celebration I gave my friends and family. Of course I am very liberal with my “good job(s)” and “you look nice(s)”, but to actually take a genuine moment to truly acknowledge the accomplishments of a friend---right on the spot---with a good old celebration is something all together special. When we celebrate others, we also give them the encouragement they need to celebrate themselves.
   


2. I need more girls’-day- outings! Shopping, laughing, and some girl (or guy) talk is a must do.

I encourage you to encourage a friend. Find a reason to celebrate your loved ones, employees, and clients. Your praise could be the thing that pushes them to find significant success.


How do you respond to praise? When was the last time you celebrated with a friend? Who, in your life, deserves a celebration?

To Blog…Nakeia

Blogging, Bantar, and Newness...

I am excited to have finally released the pause button! Last Thursday was my first day back to the world of blogging---and do I have a lot to say or do I have a lot to say?!.

First, let me say that my high school english teacher would be horrified to read my blogs. While I was away, I actually read through all of the blogs I have written and came to the realization that I need to re-visit English 101. I have always had a bad habit of not proof reading my work. Most of the time I get someone else to do that for me, but I didn't think I needed to do that for the blog. I usually write as I think and think as I write---which actually helps me as a song writer, but not so much as a blogger. So, you will be pleased to know that I will be proof reading my work from now on.

Second, I must also say that among my grammaticlly incorrect, typo filled, and sometimes bantaring blogs, I have some great tips, stories, and how-to's in my blog library. I even managed to encourage, mentor, and make my self laugh while reading through the past 177 blogs. So, when you get a moment, I suggest you take a look through the archives.

Third---and last for now---I am excited about the newness I have experienced in my personal and professional life and I can't wait to share it with you! I will continue to blog every Thursday until the end of the year---and---starting in January, I will go back to blogging everyday.

P.S. I will proof read starting with next week's blog.

To Blog...

Nakeia

Don't You Dare Compare

When you compare yourself to others, you limit yourself to their abilities.

Think about it. When you look at another person’s car, house, business, or family in admiration, your mind often shifts into wonder mode. You may wonder what that person does for a living. You may wonder how old he/she is and how long it took him/her to get it. You may even wonder what else that person may possess and what his/her bank account may state. Eventually, your mind will leave wonder mode and shift into why mode. You may ask yourself why don’t I drive a car like that, why is it taking me so long to get what I want, or why don’t I have a lot of money in the bank. Finally, after leaving wonder and why mode, your mind will probably spend the rest of the day in automatic replay mode. You will undoubtedly begin to replay all of the mistakes you have made over the years. You will think of the college you should have attended, the courses you should have taken, the state you should have moved to, and even the guy or girl you should have married.
While in automatic replay mode, you will begin to compare yourself to friends and co-workers, family members and even enemies. If you stay in this mode long enough, you may even visualize yourself living their lives, driving their cars, and spending their money. Your life now looks even worse than you thought.

What if you stop comparing yourself to others and start being inspired by them? What if the car you could buy from the money you made from your new business was a year or two newer than theirs? What if the inspiration you felt from the family you saw led you to create the family of your dreams?

You could be far more successful than the people you secretly envy if you simply stop comparing and start getting inspired.

Start by thinking of one person in or around your life that you have been comparing yourself to. Write down all of the things you admire about them--- their lifestyle and their possessions. Now simply tell yourself that you can have that…AND MORE. The AND MORE insert is very important because your talents, gifts, and vision may extend far beyond the other person’s reach.

Once you have you list, I want you to shift into wonder mode. Become amazed in admiration of what you could achieve, acquire, and reveal about yourself. Next, allow yourself to shift into why mode. Ask yourself why NOT me. There will be no good answer to that question because you CAN have everything you want in life if you doo what it takes to get it. Finally, settle into replay mode. Allow your mind to replay all of your dreams and goals that you have set and visualize yourself achieving them.

Since you were the one who set the limits; you have the ability to remove them. Do it today!

To Blog…Nakeia

Who inspires you? Do you compare yourself to others?

The Word NO

As I prepare to welcome our baby boy into the family, I can’t help but think of my baby girl. She just turned six years old last month, and my husband and I have been replaying her toddler days over and over in our minds. As we reminisce on all of her firsts--- her first smile, her first words, her first steps… we realize that we were in complete awe of her---and still are.

I remember the first time I told her NO. She was grabbing for my favorite earrings so I grabbed her hand and said NO. She looked at me as if I had two heads, and then went for the earrings again. That grab match went on for a few more seconds until I handed her one of her favorite toys to distract her from the lure of my favorite earrings.

Six years later, my baby girl still looks at me as if I have two heads when I tell her NO. I don’t know about you, but I do not like hearing the word NO either. When I make a request, I expect it to be granted. But as an adult, I realize that hearing the word NO has taught me much more than always hearing YES could have.

Joyce Spizer says something like… NO is a word you encounter on your path to YES.

Now when I first heard that phrase I thought to myself…what’s that suppose to mean. Then, after years of being an entrepreneur, I realized that life doesn’t have to end at NO. That is when the phrase… No is a word you encounter on your path to YES, started to make perfect sense to me. I have heard the word NO many times, but those NO’s made the one Yes I needed mean that much more. Hearing the word NO taught me patience, perseverance, and diligence. It has even forced me to miss a good opportunity only to stumble upon a great one.

I am somewhat of a realist. So, I understand that hearing the word NO is not a pleasant experience. There have been times when hearing a music executive say NO to a song I have poured my heart in soul into made me feel like a baby girl, hearing NO for the first time. And I sat there staring at that person as if he had two heads, I felt like storming out in tears. But instead, I just played another song and sometimes yet another, until I heard the word YES.

Patience, perseverance, and diligence are characteristics that you will never learn from always hearing YES. And if you have plans of being successful at anything, you are going to need them. However unpleasant the word NO can be, I want you to remember that life doesn’t have to end with that NO. All you need is one YES; and you will only hear it if you don’t give up!

To Blog…Nakeia

Do you just give up when someone tells you NO? What has hearing the word NO taught you?

Waiting On Perfect

You can plan it.

You can meet on it.

You can talk about it.

You can blog about it.

But...it will not get done until you do it.

This is not just a fact but it is a principle that I know ALL successful people come to realize early on.

There will never be the perfect time, perfect place, or perfect circumstance. When you really think about it, there always seems to be something that could be better.

You have a choice. You can sit, plan, prepare, research, and wait on perfect...or you can just start. You can start your book, start your blog, start your cupcake business, or start your marketing firm and watch your wonderful self create perfection right before your very own eyes.

Waiting on perfect will get you no where, but starting certainly will.

To Blog...Nakeia

Do you believe perfect exists? What could you start today?

Busy Being Productive...

No matter who I talk to---no matter what day of the week it is--- I always hear the busy complaint. I hear:

I am so busy. I just don’t know what to do with myself.

I am so tired. There’s just not enough time in the day.

I can’t wait until the weekend so I can just relax!

No matter the specific complaint, there is one underlying theme that I hear flowing through the actual words. That theme is---I am busy not being productive.

I have been working with a client as well as my husband on the issue of productivity this week and I couldn’t help but remember some of my older posts on the subject. You can find those posts here, here, and here.

If you have been busy, then it is safe to say that you have been occupied, full of bustle, not free, active, and not available for use. All of those things would be great if they were followed by some sort of intentional results.

If you have been productive, then it is safe to say that you have been yielding something, creating something, causing something, or presenting something. In the case of being productive, an intentional action was followed by an intentional result.

Besides trying out some of the tips you read in the older posts linked above, before you begin an activity, ask yourself if that action will yield, create, cause, or present the intentional result you desire.

To Blog…Nakeia


Have you experienced a productive week so far? Do you spend your days being busy or productive? What tip could you implement today that will allow you to experience a more productive life?