The Uncommon Life

Ordinary just isn’t good enough for me. I don’t know how to be common, unremarkable, usual, or customary. That is why I have always had a hard time fitting in.

I spent the first half of my life apologizing for standing out in a crowd. I wouldn’t raise my hand in class or seminar when I knew the answer to the question being asked so people wouldn’t think---that I thought---I had all of the answers.

I would often ease into a room unassumingly as not to call attention to myself; because I was worried people would mistake my happy confidence for apparent superiority.

Now I am all grown up. Actually, let’s face it, I’m pretty old now---- and I have come to realize that confining myself to an image that will make others comfortable, not only limits me but it is a disservice to those who need me to be authentically me.

In the industries that I work in, both in entertainment and in personal development, people pay me to be uncommon, stand out in a crowd, have the answers they need, and command a room! Ironic, isn’t it?

People are attracted to authenticity. However uncommon, remarkable, and unusual you may be, if you are shown to be trustworthy and genuine, people will welcome you into their space. In a crowded room, the person who stands out will also be the person everyone wants to meet. In the marketplace the business that is remarkable and unusual will also be the business---with the most---business.

Many are in search of purpose. People are tired of life as usual. You want to live a bolder, better, UNCOMMON life!

Well, you have my permission to raise your hand, call attention to yourself, and please, by all means, be unapologetically authentic!

Here’s your approach to an unordinary---uncommon life:

Get comfortable in your own skin. Being authentically you may make a few others uncomfortable, but that is their issue and not yours. Being naturally confident is not the same as being superior in nature. When you surround yourself with the right people, those people will be confident too and welcome you into their space.

Serve others by being who you are. Never forget that someone else is depending on you to succeed. Your confidence, your talents, and your unique purpose have not been entrusted to you---just for you. Embrace the things that make you stand out from the crowd, because one day someone will want to pay you for it.

To Blog…Nakeia

What Were You Thinking?

Without a doubt, most of you were excited about the New Year. You were pumped! You were motivated! You were driven---and on the 12th day of the New Year---you have already lost some steam.

Now I don’t blame you completely. You have a lot going on. Your bank account has lost more weight than you resolved to. Your biggest supporters are busy supporting themselves. You are doing so much right now, you can hardly keep up---and you feel like if you can just have a moment to catch your breath, you just may be able to catch up.

I have one question for you---WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!

Actually I know what you were thinking. You were thinking that this year would be your year. You thought you could take it all on at once---and you really thought this time would be the time that you finally did it. BUT---you’re doing too much! Stop trying to do it all and start doing what makes sense.

You are only 12 days in, and this time will be the time you do it…

…if---you Simply Do What Makes Sense™

If what you are doing to achieve your goal is tiring you out, getting you out of focus, and causing you to second guess yourself, it doesn’t make sense. AND---if it doesn’t make sense, don’t do it.

I want that to be your theme for the year.

Here’s your approach:

Take out your list of resolutions. Now tear it up and throw it away. You don’t need it.

If writing a list of things could make you successful, you would have accomplished your goals the day you wrote them down.

Now close your eyes and get a clear picture of how you want your year to be. Once you see the vision, write it down in vivid detail. Who are you? How do you look? What are you doing? How do you feel?

On another sheet of paper, write down your reality in those areas. Who are you now? What do you look like now? What are you doing now? How do you feel now?

Your next move is simple.

Eliminate one thing every week from your reality, that is not apart of the clear vision you have for your future. If what you are doing, saying, feeling, and living don’t fit the vision; eliminate it---one action, one word, one thought at a time.

Make this year your year by simply doing what makes since!


To Blog…Nakeia

Not Another New Year Themed Blog

At the top of everyone’s agenda you will find a resolution. I really didn’t want t bore you with another New Year themed blog (and I promise I wont)---BUT---when I walked through the aisles of Wal-Mart seeing nothing but exercise equipment and diet pills---when I turned on the television and saw Jenny Craig, Weight Watcher’s, and The Biggest Loser commercials---I just could help myself.

Now I have no intention of sharing with you my struggles with weight because, quite honestly, that is none of your business. I will however share another something personal.

I wore braces for five years. No, my teeth weren’t that hideous. My grand-mom just couldn’t afford the monthly payment plan we were on, so I was forced to wear braces until my aunt stepped in and began to make the payments for me. Don’t feel sorry for me; I got over it--- and let’s just say my teeth are extra straight.

If you know anything about the process of straightening your teeth with the use of sharp metal wires--- that are woven through metal brackets---that are cemented to your teeth--- and tightened once a month--- to the point of uncomfortable pain--- bare with me as I explain it to those who do not.

Technically, the application of brackets or braces moves the teeth as a result of force and pressure on the teeth. This process loosens the tooth and then new bone grows in to support the tooth in its new position which is technically called bone remodeling. Braces have constant pressure, which over time, move teeth into their proper positions. This movement needs to be done slowly otherwise the patient risks losing his or her teeth. This is why braces are commonly worn for approximately two and a half years and adjustments are only made every three or four weeks.

My process was delayed often over the course of five years because when we did not have the monthly payment, we were not able to get the wires adjusted. At the time, I didn’t mind because I didn’t want to endure the uncomfortable process of getting my teeth straightened. I knew I couldn’t keep the braces on forever, but if I could just get by for just a little while longer, I would be ready the next time. Well next time turned into five years!

Now I am sure that by now you are wondering how my five years of being known as a brace face will connect to resolutions. Well, I have a gift and I am not so modest about it. I have been gifted with the ability to take common issues of everyday life and create a lesson out of it. Also, as promised that I wouldn’t bore you with another New Year themed blog (and I hope you are not bored.)

So here is the lesson:

Every time you put off doing what you need to do to straighten out your life because of lack of money, discomfort, lack of discipline, or whatever your excuses have been, you delay the process and prolong the amount of time you will lack money, feel discomfort, live an undisciplined life, and whatever else you have been experiencing.

Get the connection?

In this New Year, resolve to simply get it done. Whatever it is for you---get it done! Prevent the delays and prolonged discontent. Don’t live your life just getting by until next year. Or---your next year could turn into five years from now---or even worse--- Never.

Since this was a lesson, here is your assignment:

Write down at least one thing that you have been delaying year after year. Now simply get it done! You know what you need to do, so do it. Look past your finances, your discomfort, and all of your other excuses and make this year the year you get it done.


To Blog…Nakeia

Success Through Failure

This will be my last blog post of 2011. By next week, this time, we will be living in a New Year! I am extremely excited to be leaving this year behind and anxious to begin the next chapter of my life. I have worked very productively throughout this year. I have become a new mommy all over again, and despite all of the chaos that had intruded on my plans for the year, I got things done! I accomplished all of the goals I set and helped others do the same.

My first blog of 2011 included this statistic:

52% of those who make New Year’s Resolutions are confident that they will succeed. However, by the end of the year, only 12% actually achieve their goals.

In that blog, I asked you to join me in creating actionable plans to secure your place among the 12%. Did you do that? Did you fulfill your resolutions? Are you among the 52% that failed, or are you with me among the 12% who succeeded?

If you have failed at your goals for the year--- or have ever failed at any other attempt for that matter--- you are in good company.

Henry Ford: Before Ford was tough, he was broke! His early businesses failed, leaving him broke five times before succeeding.

R. H. Macy: Had 7 failed business before the success of the Macy’s department store we know and love today.

Bill Gates: Before Microsoft there was Traf-O-Data, his first failed business.
Albert Einstein: From a slow to speak, read, and finish school kind of guy to a Nobel Prize Winning father of modern physics.

Soichiro Honda: Turned down by Toyota Motor Corp. for a job before building the billion dollar Honda of today.

Remember, you only have to succeed the last time. ~Brian Tracy

There is no shame in failing if failure is followed by success.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again!
2012 here we come!


What were your successes in 2011? What did you fail to accomplish? What are your plans for 2012?

To Blog...Nakeia

Dream Protection Program

I have probably shared this with you before--- but there is one phrase I distinctively remember hearing from my grandmom as a child. I had big hopes, big ideas, and BIG DREAMS for my life and whenever I would share them with my grandmom, she would say “I hope you get everything you want in life.” Now when she said that I knew she didn’t really think it would happen. She was doing her best to be supportive, but the tone of her voice said it all. I think she thought my big dreams were too big for my reality. If you ask her about it, she may have a different take on that phrase but this is my story and I’m sticking to it.

As a mother of a six year old daughter, I now have the privilege of hearing her BIG DREAMS. When she shares her hopes, ideas and big dreams with me, I make it a point to sound as excited as I feel about my own dreams when I respond to hers. She wants to become a doctor and discover a cure for cancer and I don’t doubt for a second that she can do it! I want her to feel free to dream as big as she possibly can and as her mother I have the responsibility of protecting her dreams until she can protect them herself. I remind her of them when she doesn’t feel like doing her home work. I buy her toys for budding doctors and play “doctor and patient” with her. Last month, I caught her doodling Dr. Kai in her note and I almost cried!

Protecting your dream is a must! It seems simple enough but sometimes our reality makes it difficult for us to reconcile our dreams with what we actually see in our lives everyday. We have to learn to shield our dreams from delays, denials, and detours. We have to make our dreams “NO” proof. We even have to protect our dreams against self-doubt, self-sabotage, and self-imposed limits.

I have spoken with many people who suffered through 2011. Houses were repossessed. Businesses were closed. Marriages were ended. Careers were ruined. Your dream can be the remnant of all of that chaos. When the dust settles your dream can still be standing. All you need is a cause and a plan!

Here are three quick things you can implement today to protect your dream:

Meditate on it. Make it the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of at night. What you make a priority in your mind because a reality in your life.

Speak highly of it. The worst thing you can do is belittle your dream. Write it out on a piece of paper and frame it. Make it the visual focal point f your office, bedroom, or car dashboard.

Act on it. Take daily action toward making your dream a reality. Spend 30 minutes each day doing something concerning it. You can enroll in a course that will help you become an expert at it.

Whatever you do, keep the dream alive! Big Dreamers experience BIG Lives!

I also wrote about dreams here and here.

What dream have you failed to protect? What will you start doing, today, to protect it? How can I help?


To Blog…Nakeia

Praise for the BFF

I had the chance to spend a few hours away from my new Lil’ Mister last weekend. My BFF (yes, some people over the age of 30 still refer to their life-long friends as BFF’s) picked me up and we shopped, talked, and laughed a little. It was great! We have known each other since we were 10 years old and even though we don’t speak everyday---or every week, I can always count on her for honesty, support, and some good old girl talk. And if you know anything about me or my blog, it should not surprise you to hear that I even managed to squeeze in a bit of personal development.

You see, she had recently achieved a major personal accomplishment without even realizing it. After hearing about it I immediately began to celebrate with her and by me celebrating her, it seemed as if she felt a sense of permission to celebrate herself.

It was great! It was also enlightening. I realized two things:

1. Adults need praise too. As a mother of two, praise has been on autopilot in our home for years. Whenever my daughter---and now my son does something new, wonderful, unique, or just plain cute. We praise them with rewards, compliments, kisses, and hugs. They feel validated and worthy. It also cultivates positive behavior and increases the chances of them doing something praise worthy in the future. The same actually applies to adults. As an administrator, I often used praise to encourage a positive and productive work- flow among my employees. I use it now with my clients and as a speaker and mentor. However, I didn’t always pay as much attention to the celebration I gave my friends and family. Of course I am very liberal with my “good job(s)” and “you look nice(s)”, but to actually take a genuine moment to truly acknowledge the accomplishments of a friend---right on the spot---with a good old celebration is something all together special. When we celebrate others, we also give them the encouragement they need to celebrate themselves.
   


2. I need more girls’-day- outings! Shopping, laughing, and some girl (or guy) talk is a must do.

I encourage you to encourage a friend. Find a reason to celebrate your loved ones, employees, and clients. Your praise could be the thing that pushes them to find significant success.


How do you respond to praise? When was the last time you celebrated with a friend? Who, in your life, deserves a celebration?

To Blog…Nakeia

Blogging, Bantar, and Newness...

I am excited to have finally released the pause button! Last Thursday was my first day back to the world of blogging---and do I have a lot to say or do I have a lot to say?!.

First, let me say that my high school english teacher would be horrified to read my blogs. While I was away, I actually read through all of the blogs I have written and came to the realization that I need to re-visit English 101. I have always had a bad habit of not proof reading my work. Most of the time I get someone else to do that for me, but I didn't think I needed to do that for the blog. I usually write as I think and think as I write---which actually helps me as a song writer, but not so much as a blogger. So, you will be pleased to know that I will be proof reading my work from now on.

Second, I must also say that among my grammaticlly incorrect, typo filled, and sometimes bantaring blogs, I have some great tips, stories, and how-to's in my blog library. I even managed to encourage, mentor, and make my self laugh while reading through the past 177 blogs. So, when you get a moment, I suggest you take a look through the archives.

Third---and last for now---I am excited about the newness I have experienced in my personal and professional life and I can't wait to share it with you! I will continue to blog every Thursday until the end of the year---and---starting in January, I will go back to blogging everyday.

P.S. I will proof read starting with next week's blog.

To Blog...

Nakeia

When All Else Fails...

Nothing in this world could have prepared me for this...

Not even this blog I wrote 3 weeks before delivering my son Chase (whom I affectionately call Lil' Mister). I was prepared to welcome my healthy baby boy into this world, armed with my camera, cell phone (So my family back home can listen in), and the cutest new born outfit I could find. I was eager to change his diaper, bath him, comb his hair and coddle him for the first time. I was looking forward to seeing what his first night in this new world would be like for him. I wanted to experience the first times he closed his eyes for the night and opened them to welcome in the next day. I was looking forward to the moment I could introduce him to his big sister--- witnessing the look on her face as she walked into our hospital room and saw me holding her little brother. I was looking forward to walking him out of the hospital doors after 2 days and into the house we had just moved in to (because we needed to make room for him).

Yet instead of the perfect scene I had imagined and prepared for, My son was whisked away from me and his father---minutes after he was born---and rushed to the NICU (Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit) where he stayed for 14 days, 19 hours, and 30 minutes. We were only permitted to interact with him for 1hour a few times a day...

A nurse changed his diaper, bathed him, combed his hair, and coddled him for the first time. I missed seeing his eyes close for the night and open the next morning. Total strangers spent the night with my son, while I sat, with my husband, in a lonely hospital room questioning every move I had made during my pregnancy, every lie I ever told, every person I ever offended, and every night I forgot to say a prayer before bed.

On day 6, as I walked out of the hospital leaving my baby in the care of doctors, nurses, and other staff, I felt horrified, guilty, empty, and strongly aware of the fact that there are some things that I just can't prepare for.

When we are faced with those things, we must replace preparation with faith. I wasn't prepared for my son to enter into this world under such unimaginable conditions, but my faith assured me that things would turn out just as they should---and they did. My Lil' Mister is healthy, happy, and ALWAYS hungry!

...When all else fails, have faith.

What have you been unprepared for lately? What have you needed to have fath in? How have you handled recent unimaginable conditions?

To Blog...

Nakeia

Pressing Pause

There are times in my life when I have come across something that is so important to me that it requires my undivided attention. For instance, I not so literally pressed the pause button for everything else in my life to graduate high school and then college. I pressed it again to plan a wedding and relocate to another state to be with my husband. Yet again, I pressed pause to assist my husband in building our music production company---and again to develop my business as a makeup artist.

I must say, however, none of those times were more significant than pressing pause to welcome the arrival of my baby girl. She rightfully planted herself right-smack- dab (whatever that actually means) in the middle of my life and occupied 99.9% of my time, energy, and undivided attention. Without hesitation I put everything else on hold to make sure that I gave her what she needed to grow into a healthy, responsible, respectful, and loving young toddler. I didn’t want distractions or opportunity for excuses to prevent me from living up to my responsibility as a mother, so I pressed pause until I could handle being the best mother I could be and then slowly added those things I put on hold back into my life.

Sometimes we can get so inundated with our to-do lists, success logs, and daily routines that we fail to focus on the one thing that will make all of the other things worth while. We suffer burn-outs, fail to achieve goals, and put off doing what’s important when all we really need to do is press pause. It is important to remember that what you pay attention to will grow---the object of your affection will be the object that defines your future.

As I prepare to press pause once again to welcome the arrival of my baby boy, I want you to consider using a pause button of your own. Ask yourself if it’s time for you to focus your undivided attention on something that you have been putting off, some place where you have not been getting the results you desire, or the one thing that will make all of the other things in your life worth while.

The next time you hear from me, I will be the proud mama of a brand new baby boy---talk to you in a few weeks!

To Blog…Nakeia

If The Truth Fits...

I spent most of my life fighting reality. The reality of who my parents were, who raised me, where I lived, how much money I had, my struggles to be successful--- and more reality and more reality---made me wish my life was different. As a child I would day dream about living in a big white house with a mom that baked cookies and a dad that spent his life fixing things. When I would open my eyes and see that I was still in my own little room in a little apartment in the projects, I would wonder why God would choose that life for me…

Now, years later, I have discovered the power to change some of those realities. I have also discovered the fact that no matter how hard I try, some realities just can’t be changed. My parents are who they are… My childhood was what it was… And the life God chose for me is the one that I am supposed to live.

Today is Friday and I have spent most of this week talking to some neighbors, friends, clients, and strangers about my reality. I do that often---sharing my reality and my truth, that is--- and I realize that my reality fits me... my truth fits me---and as I share them with others I am fulfilling my purpose to inspire, empower, and teach others to change what they can and accept what they can’t as part of what is needed for them to fulfill their own purpose.

What ever life you have been given is uniquely yours. Your reality is made for you and your truth is apart of a grander plan to give you the freedom to live the life you were born to live. Instead of fighting it, I encourage you to change the part of your reality that you have the power to change and embrace the truth that has made you uniquely you.

To Blog…Nakeia

What do you want to change about your life? What truth about your past has contributed, positively, to the person you are today? What’s in the story of your life that could help someone else?

Prepare For The Best

As I approach the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy, I realized something very significant about how parents prepare for the birth of a child. Typically, we prepare for the worst---which, when you really think about it, is a horrible way to welcome one of the most significant events in ones life.

We prepare ourselves for the pain of labor and delivery by attending birthing classes, studying up on pain medications, and listening to horror stories of other deliveries.

We prepare ourselves for sleepless nights with crying babies by attempting to get extra sleep before the baby is born and welcoming offers from the grandparents to attend to the baby during the day.

We prepare for diaper rashes by stocking up on creams. We prepare for fevers by stocking up on infant friendly medications. We prepare to fail at nursing by stocking up on formula.
In my preparation, I thought to myself what if the worst never happens…what if everything goes well. What will I do with all of the creams, medications, and grandparents?!?

Now of course every parent hopes for a healthy delivery and birth--- and in preparing we just want to make sure that we are not caught off guard. But I couldn’t help but think back to the delivery and birth of my first child. My husband and I were very strategic in our preparation. I asked God to give us a child that would sleep through the night, eat well, and never get sick. Well that is exactly what we received. My daughter was the best baby ever! No sleepless nights, diaper rashes, or fevers; and in six years she has never experienced more than a running nose. The worst never happened and that is exactly what we prepared for this time around!

How do you prepare for major events in your life? Do you prepare for the worst and just hope it never happens? No one wants to be caught off guard---but just think about how pleasant life would be if you prepared for the best possible outcome and that is exactly what you received. I am sure if you take the time to think back on your past experiences, you will find that the worst rarely ever happened---if it happened at all. I want you to adopt the belief that you get what you ask for and what you prepare for every time. When you prepare with that in mind, you create an atmosphere for the best possible outcome to happen.

Prepare for the best! When you prepare for the best, you leave no room for the worst to happen.

To Blog…Nakeia

Different From The Rest...

Have you ever purchased a brand new car, driven it off of the lot, and then noticed that seemingly ever other person in your city was driving the same exact car. Well, that may be an exaggeration. However, it does seem as if the minute you purchase or want to purchase something, you immediately begin to notice how many other people have already made the same purchase. For some this may make the purchase that much more appealing. You may think to yourself, if everyone else has it, it must be a great buy. For others, the idea of driving the same car as your neighbor from two houses down is not so appealing. You may feel like a copycat, unoriginal, and not like the trend setter you thought you were.

We have all heard that trends come and go, but in a world with more than ten different mainstream versions of essentially the same type of social networking, it has become increasingly more difficult to be an original anything. Most people do what most people do. In other words, people have began to only get involved in something when they hear that everyone else is doing it. It’s almost like high school. You know how we use to run home from school and beg our parents to buy us the jeans that the most popular girl or guy in school wore that day- in the hopes that we too could become the popular girl or guy in school.

Here’s the thing, if everyone else is driving it, wearing it, creating it, or leading the way with it, not only does the world not need you to do it, if you did it, I doubt if anyone would notice. That’s right, NO ONE WOULD NOTICE YOU.

If you want to get some notice- with your business, on your job, or even in your own home- you are going to have to do something different. What’s different about you is what sets you apart. What’s different about you is what will generate interest. What’s different about you may be exactly what the world needs.

We don’t another television reality star, social networking site, cell phone app, or the next Oprah. Learn to be an original in a world full of knock-offs!


To Blog…Nakeia


What makes you different form the rest? How can you use that difference to make money, impact your community, or influence the next generation?

Don't You Dare Compare

When you compare yourself to others, you limit yourself to their abilities.

Think about it. When you look at another person’s car, house, business, or family in admiration, your mind often shifts into wonder mode. You may wonder what that person does for a living. You may wonder how old he/she is and how long it took him/her to get it. You may even wonder what else that person may possess and what his/her bank account may state. Eventually, your mind will leave wonder mode and shift into why mode. You may ask yourself why don’t I drive a car like that, why is it taking me so long to get what I want, or why don’t I have a lot of money in the bank. Finally, after leaving wonder and why mode, your mind will probably spend the rest of the day in automatic replay mode. You will undoubtedly begin to replay all of the mistakes you have made over the years. You will think of the college you should have attended, the courses you should have taken, the state you should have moved to, and even the guy or girl you should have married.
While in automatic replay mode, you will begin to compare yourself to friends and co-workers, family members and even enemies. If you stay in this mode long enough, you may even visualize yourself living their lives, driving their cars, and spending their money. Your life now looks even worse than you thought.

What if you stop comparing yourself to others and start being inspired by them? What if the car you could buy from the money you made from your new business was a year or two newer than theirs? What if the inspiration you felt from the family you saw led you to create the family of your dreams?

You could be far more successful than the people you secretly envy if you simply stop comparing and start getting inspired.

Start by thinking of one person in or around your life that you have been comparing yourself to. Write down all of the things you admire about them--- their lifestyle and their possessions. Now simply tell yourself that you can have that…AND MORE. The AND MORE insert is very important because your talents, gifts, and vision may extend far beyond the other person’s reach.

Once you have you list, I want you to shift into wonder mode. Become amazed in admiration of what you could achieve, acquire, and reveal about yourself. Next, allow yourself to shift into why mode. Ask yourself why NOT me. There will be no good answer to that question because you CAN have everything you want in life if you doo what it takes to get it. Finally, settle into replay mode. Allow your mind to replay all of your dreams and goals that you have set and visualize yourself achieving them.

Since you were the one who set the limits; you have the ability to remove them. Do it today!

To Blog…Nakeia

Who inspires you? Do you compare yourself to others?

The Word NO

As I prepare to welcome our baby boy into the family, I can’t help but think of my baby girl. She just turned six years old last month, and my husband and I have been replaying her toddler days over and over in our minds. As we reminisce on all of her firsts--- her first smile, her first words, her first steps… we realize that we were in complete awe of her---and still are.

I remember the first time I told her NO. She was grabbing for my favorite earrings so I grabbed her hand and said NO. She looked at me as if I had two heads, and then went for the earrings again. That grab match went on for a few more seconds until I handed her one of her favorite toys to distract her from the lure of my favorite earrings.

Six years later, my baby girl still looks at me as if I have two heads when I tell her NO. I don’t know about you, but I do not like hearing the word NO either. When I make a request, I expect it to be granted. But as an adult, I realize that hearing the word NO has taught me much more than always hearing YES could have.

Joyce Spizer says something like… NO is a word you encounter on your path to YES.

Now when I first heard that phrase I thought to myself…what’s that suppose to mean. Then, after years of being an entrepreneur, I realized that life doesn’t have to end at NO. That is when the phrase… No is a word you encounter on your path to YES, started to make perfect sense to me. I have heard the word NO many times, but those NO’s made the one Yes I needed mean that much more. Hearing the word NO taught me patience, perseverance, and diligence. It has even forced me to miss a good opportunity only to stumble upon a great one.

I am somewhat of a realist. So, I understand that hearing the word NO is not a pleasant experience. There have been times when hearing a music executive say NO to a song I have poured my heart in soul into made me feel like a baby girl, hearing NO for the first time. And I sat there staring at that person as if he had two heads, I felt like storming out in tears. But instead, I just played another song and sometimes yet another, until I heard the word YES.

Patience, perseverance, and diligence are characteristics that you will never learn from always hearing YES. And if you have plans of being successful at anything, you are going to need them. However unpleasant the word NO can be, I want you to remember that life doesn’t have to end with that NO. All you need is one YES; and you will only hear it if you don’t give up!

To Blog…Nakeia

Do you just give up when someone tells you NO? What has hearing the word NO taught you?

Birthdays and Jump Starts

I was having a belated birthday lunch (Happy Birthday to Me!) with two of my friends yesterday, when I heard a question that I have heard so many times before. One of my friends asked does anyone know of a way that I can lose 10lbs fast. She is actually in a wedding that will take place in 2weeks and just wanted to get rid of a little extra weight gained by over indulging for the past few months.

I have also heard that weight loss question asked in this form:

Does anyone know how I can loose 10 lbs fast? I just need a jump start to my diet and loosing that 10lbs will get me motivated to do more…

I am sure you have either heard or asked the weight loss question in some form or another yourselves. Of course you know I have heard it. Well, I have also said it many times. And every time I say it or hear it I can’t help but think of the time I heard it or said it before.

We set many goals, from weight loss goals to weight gain goals. We set goals in the beginning, middle, and end of every year. Some of us see results and some of don’t, but in true human form most of us try and try again. For those who are tired of trying, a Jump Start Goal may be exactly what you need. I am talking about the kind of goal that, when achieved, will jump start your entire life.

I am sure that you a have a descent track record of fulfilling your goal to loose a few pounds, read more books, or watch less television and I can see how those things can be good improvements. But I want you to look at how those things could really jump start your life. Maybe you need to set a Jump Start Goal to loose more than a few pounds. Maybe you need to loose the 15lbs that will add 5 years to your life. Maybe you need to do more than just read more books. Perhaps you need to enroll in a course that will put you in a better position to receive that promotion at work. Finally, maybe you need to cut out television entirely for a few months or more and use the money you would have spent on cable to invest in the business you have always wanted to start. You could spend the time you would normally devote to television creating a business plan.

I want you to join me in thinking of ways that you could radically change your life. Think of major goals that could jump start your personal and professional life. It’s good to make small and steady strides but sometimes we need a leap that will get us closer to the life we want faster and with less effort. The minor changes you have been experiencing in your life are good, but a major change that could really give you the boost you need would be even better!

To Blog…Nakeia

What major goal could you set today that would radically jump start your life? What type of improvements would you begin to see if you fulfilled that goal?

Who's Keeping Score?

Normally when someone speaks of keeping score in life it has a negative connotation. Of course, it really only seems negative to the person on the loosing side of the board. Outside of a competitive setting, keeping score is a really great success tool.

This year I have gone into serious personal score keeping mode. One of my personal and professional goals has been to rid myself of any form of insanity, in every aspect o my life. In an older blog I wrote about this working definition of insanity:

… Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

In other words there were some behaviors, plans, and other habits that I had grown accustom to repeating even though they weren’t giving me the results I desired. I repeated those actions because they were familiar, comfortable, and quite honestly they didn’t require much thought; and I did this for years before admitting, to myself, the level of insanity required to do it. Insane---right?!

Well I’m healed! Insanity has left the building! I have been implementing new behaviors, plans, and habits and to ensure that insanity does not creep back into my life. I have been keeping score. I keep score of what works for me and what doesn’t. Of course if it doesn’t work…it’s gotta go!

Here is how keeping score can wok for you. Make a list of your immediate goals. Next to each goal, write down the action(s) you have taken toward completing it. If you were successful at it, write down the word HIT beside the action. If the action did not work for you, write down he word MISS. To ensure that you do not board the insane train, replace the actions that didn’t work with results driven actions; and only repeat an action if it actually helped you to achieve the things you desired. If you want to achieve the level of success you desire, you must learn to develop winning ways! Knowing what works for you and what doesn’t, and developing strategies to combat the MISSES and increase your HITS will give you the score you need to succeed.

To Blog…Nakeia

Do you keep score in your life? How many HITS and MISSES have you accumulated this week? How will you improve your score?

The Banana Colored Car

I don’t get embarrassed easily. But growing up there was one thing that would almost embarrass me, and that was my family’s banana colored car. Before there was the Facebook I am here applications and Twitter updates, there was the banana colored car that would update the whole town on my exact location. I mean really…you couldn’t miss it! That car was painted the worst possible color for a car, not mention the fact that it was almost as old as my grand-mom. BUT…it got me to where I needed to be---when I needed to be there.

I thought about that car today as I was doing my mission assessment. In December of 2010, I finalized most of my plans for 2011. I hit 2011 running steadily toward my mission to create a life and business that would empower everyone I came into contact with to use their God-given power to create the life they desire. Along the way I have had some unexpected challenges. However, I am exactly where I need to be---at the exact time I need to be here. I thought that all of my strategic planning, intentional living, and motivational thinking would get me to where I am today. I was only half- way right. The unexpected challenges--- the things that have brought me to the point of embarrassment---the things that gave everyone around me an update on exactly where I am in my personal and professional life--- have also been agents of success. Those challenges have forced me to commit more time to my business in order to get things done. Those embarrassing moments have forced me to come up with more creative ways to get the results I desire in my personal life.

One of the most important principles that you could ever learn and apply is this:

Every bad, unexpected, embarrassing, challenging, or unfortunate thing that happens to you has within it the seed of something good.

Some people are motivated to do good (I know this should say well, but good makes my point better), because of something bad. For example the most recent Tsunami in Japan motivated many people to give money that they would have more than likely kept for themselves.
Reflecting on the embarrassing banana colored car reminded me that I am strong enough to go through even the most embarrassing moments in life, just to get to where I need to be---when I need to be there.

To Blog…Nakeia

When was the last time you felt embarrassed? How did you handle it? What are you willing to go through to get to where you need to be?

Life Is A Highway...

Life is a highway…

Life is a journey…

There is a path to success…

Stay the course…

Yes! We are all going somewhere---literally and figuratively. But! What if we are going the wrong way? How do we know when we arrive? What do we do when we get there?

Over the past 10 years, I have met many travelers. I have been in the presence of travelers who knew where they were going, how they would get there, and what time they were expected to arrive. I have also met travelers who were screaming are we there yet, as they bounced from place to place---winging it as they went along.

Yes! We are all going somewhere---literally and figuratively. But---When you arrive, if you are going the right way, and what you do when you get there, can be determined by what type of traveler you set out to be.

Good travelers set out on a specific type of journey, to a specific location, while using a specific form of transportation. They are on a mission not just to get somewhere, but to get to where they need to be. They arrive to their destination when they have completed the journey successfully and not a minute sooner. They know they are going the right way because they are prepared with an intentional plan, only move strategically along the way, and listen closely to their internal GPS. Finally, when they arrive, they know exactly what to because they were born to do it!

Whether you are on a highway, a journey, a course, or a path to success, as long as you are a good traveler, you will know where to go, you will know when you get there, and you will know exactly what to do when you get there!

To Blog…Nakeia

Where are you going? Do you know which way to go? What will you do when you get there?

A Little Reminder...

I have had the craziest week ever! No...I have had the craziest couple of weeks ever! No...No...No... Life, as I know it, needs a serious straight jacket. (Get it?! Crazy...Staright Jacket?!) When life gets crazy, I try to maintain my sanity---and I do mean try! It has been a struggle to remain productive, focused, and motivated in the face of such craziness. BUT... an old post I wrote about finding strength in the struggle, has given me a second wind. You can find that post HERE. Have you had a crazy week? How did you handle it? Do you give up in the midst of a struggle? To Blog...Nakeia

Show Me A Sign

Confession… I am a show me a sign kind of girl. In the past… I used to pray to God for a sign before I would make a major decision. I would say God, if this is something I should do, let it rain at 12:30pm. Or…God, if I should go on this trip, let my ticket be free somehow. Let’s just say, it would never rain at 12:30pm, and I have yet to receive free airline tickets in the mail. Now… I continue to pray to God before a major decision. However, my prayer is… God, let my eyes be open to what my life is trying to show me. And…God, let my ears be in tune with what my heart is trying to say. There are signs everywhere. Even when I don’t ask, life speaks. If you follow my blog regularly, you might remember the lesson my grandmom’s Mac & Cheese has taught me. Here’s the thing, there is nothing wrong with wanting a sign. But for some the, the obvious is never obvious. Don’t ignore the small signs while looking for the miracle. Your life speaks to you daily. Losing your breath while running up the small flight of stairs in your home; is a sign that you need to exercise. If you keep asking your why does this keep happening to me, that is a sign that you need to change your pattern of behavior. Allow every opportunity, every misstep, and every turn of event to speak to you. There is a lesson in living! What obvious sign have you ignored lately? How much different would your life be if you looked a past mistake as a lesson? What has your life already said to you today? To Blog…Nakeia