Tips Week Day 5

If I gave you the assignment of writing down all of the things that you do not like about yourself, you would complete it effortlessly. You have spent years committing the act of verbal abuse against yourself. You have hated your nose since you were 10. You started speaking ill of your thighs after college. You think your smile isn’t bad, but just wish your teeth were whiter. You like the length of your hair but you wish that it was thicker…

Those kinds of comments are common among women, but men, you have issues too. You think that being a few inches taller would have given you a better edge in high school. You work out really hard at the gym because you think that you can get just as buff as the next guy; but what you are really telling yourself is that the way you look right now isn’t good enough. Or, how many times have you looked in the mirror dreading the day that you expect to go bald like your father…

Tip # 5
Show YOURSELF some love. Stop the verbal abuse. The things that you hate about your appearance and your life can always be change. We live in a world that has created a gadget, pill, cream, or surgery that has promised to cure everything that ails you. If you think that you are too short that can be fixed as well. Doctors can break some bones in your legs and reattach them in a way that could add inches to your height.

Here is the truth. Your body is a shell. It acts a shield or covering to preserve the things that matter the most---like you spirit, character, and heart. Learn to love who you are on the inside so that those things can give you the strength and the will to improve, reinvent, and appreciate the things that you see on the outside.

To Blog...Nakeia

Tips Week Day 4

For years I hated baking. HATED IT! So imagine how grateful I was to marry a man that could bake. I just put in my requests and stay out of his way. He bakes delicious cakes, cookies, and even candies. One day I saw him whip up one of cakes that my grandmother is famous for and I was amazed! It looked good, tasted even better, and it only took him 30 minutes to get it in the oven...

Speaking of my granny, she is the reason why I hate baking. She is a great cook and baker, but there is a method to her culinary genius and if you were going to cook with her, you HAD to learn that method. As a child, I didn’t want to learn a method. I just wanted to stir up some stuff and lick the spoon. But granny had other plans for me. When it was time to bake some cakes, she would wake me up early in the morning. We would measure, and sift, mix and stir---for hours. And the stirring is what really got me. According to the method, I had to stir 20 times to the right and then 20 times to the left. Really----20 times, and she would know if I only stirred 19. It seemed like she was just being extra to me, but she swore by her method and the proof was in the pudding (Pun intended---she makes the best banana pudding). If that is what she needed to do to make her cakes taste so great, I said whatever works. But I certainly wasn’t going to be the one doing all that work. So after years of baking according to granny’s method, I gave it up. I turned in my apron and left the baking to the experts.

...Okay, back to my husband’s baking skills. The day that I saw him whip up my granny’s famous pound cake in about 30 minutes, my whole life changed. When I saw him put it in the oven, I told him I think skipped some steps. He said he didn’t. But I wasn’t convinced. How did he get the same cake that took me and granny all morning to measure, sift, mix and stir---into the oven in only 30 minutes? The proof was in the first bite. It was great---almost better than granny’s---almost. We talked about it briefly and I told him all of the things that granny and I did to make than same cake. He said; all of that isn’t even necessary….

Tip # 4
Do what is necessary. You have developed certain methods over the years. From your morning wake-up routine, to the route you take to drive work---you do things a certain way. But is it all necessary? Sometimes it is possible to get lost in the method. Some things just aren’t necessary and it stalls your productivity. If you have been having a difficult time in keeping up with your deadlines and fulfilling your daily responsibilities, this tip can help.

Re-evaluate your method and see if you can eliminate some steps. There may be a way for you to get the same quality of work, with the least amount of effort. There may be a way that is just as efficient and less intensive. Discovering these new methods may free up some time that you could spend creating other opportunities.

Implementing Tip # 4 is easy. When you see that it taking you quite a bit of time to complete one task, ask yourself if all of the steps you are taking to do it are necessary.

To Blog…Nakeia

Tips Week Day 3

I have come to realize that everything is not going to always go according to plan. No matter how much time you put into researching and planning, things happen. This is especially true for entrepreneurs. When you provide a service, the success of your business is dependant upon the skillful execution of your well thought out business plan. However there are times when your must do list exceeds the amount of hours in a day. For those who are employed by someone else, I am sure that you can relate to that as well. On top of your obligations at work, there is still the house, kids, and spouse to attend to.

As I said in Tip #1, I like to plan my life by the week. That works for me because I am able to assign my many responsibilities to a specific day and not get overwhelmed by what needs to be done before the week is over. Even though, by Sunday evening, I know what I will be doing everyday for the next 7 days, during the week new responsibilities are presented. For instance, a potential client will call and I may have to stop what I am doing and put together a proposal. Here is where today’s tip comes into play.

Tip #3
Pick up where you left off. Don’t stress over the things that you didn’t get done today. Put in on tomorrow’s list. In fact, I leave my Friday mornings free just for catching up. Whatever I don’t get through during the course of the week, I move it to Friday morning and pick up right where I left off. The best thing that you can do to remain productive is not to get overwhelmed. Things happen. Sometimes even the best plans need to be altered. Just learn to work with the plan and not against it.

To Blog…Nakeia

Tips Week Day 2

So she wakes up feeling like she’s  just gone to sleep. She hits the snooze button leaving just enough time to shower, dress, and head out of the door. She sits in traffic complaining about how long it takes her to get to work. Speaking of work, she hates her job, her boss, and her co- workers. She gets to work and already she is counting the minutes until lunch. She does just enough work not to get fired, but not enough work to get that promotion. Finally, its lunch time and she spends it gossiping with the co-worker she hates, about the other co-workers she hates. Lunch is over and she spends the rest of her work day avoiding the boss she hates and counting down the minutes until she can go home. Her work day is over and she makes a mad dash to the door. As she sits in rush hour traffic, she thinks about all of the things she wants to do when she gets home. It takes her two hours to get home. She gets home tired, because after all, she has had a long day. She makes dinner, watches television until she can barely keep her eyes open, goes to sleep, and wakes up just to do the same thing all over again…

Does any of this sound familiar? What if we changed the she to a he and replaced gossiping with surfing the internet during the lunch hour? Or--- what if we threw a few kids and a wife or husband in the mix? This kind of daily routine is typical of people who are not clear and not focused. In fact, the she in the story above could easily describe me eight years ago.

Tip #2
Focus your efforts. Learning to focus your efforts toward specific objectives will increase your productivity, enhance your potential, and provide a space for new opportunities to enter into your life.

Here is a way you can focus your efforts. Divide your day into these 3 phases:

PreparationWake up at least 30 minutes earlier each day. (Exercise, meditate, and welcome possible opportunities.)
Spend at least 2 minutes saying what you are grateful for. (I am grateful for my life.)
Create a list of daily affirmations. State your intentions for the day. (Today will go as I have planned.)
Use your daily commute for personal development. (Listen to a book on CD.)

ProductionStick to the plan. (Review Tip #1)
Avoid distractions. (Stay away from gossip and social networking at work.)
Conduct mid-day assessments. (Keep track of your progress.)
Increase your efficiency. (Make sure your way is the best way and utilize all of your resources.)

RecreationRefresh your mind. (Listen to your favorite band, read a book, indulge in a hobby.)
Refresh your spirit. (Reflect on your daily accomplishments, meditate, pray.)
Refresh your body. (Take a walk, stretch, and spend time relaxing.)
Spend time in personal development. (Designate at least one hour to work on personal goals.)

Focusing your efforts by implementing this type of routine will help you go from just being busy to productive and from just getting by to enjoying every moment of your life.

To Blog…Nakeia

Tips Week!

As I begin to revamp one of my businesses and prepare to launch another, I have had a hard time keeping up with everything. If you follow my blog regularly, you already know how many hats I wear. As a full-time wife, mom, writer, and business manager, maintaining a consistent level of productivity is extremely important to me. I understand that if I am productive, I will abundantly and efficiently experience a desired life. However, sometimes I find myself just doing whatever to keep up. In business being productive boils down to economics. When I am productive, my business is productive---that is ---my business is producing goods and services of exchangeable value. In other words if I am productive, I will get paid. It is also important to maintain productivity in my personal life as well. I should be producing satisfactory and useful results among my family, in the area of my health, and concerning my personal desires.

I know I am not alone. I have had this conversation with friends and colleagues who all have the same concerns. For me, the past few months had been very busy. I had been running errands, on the phone, on the computer, cooking and cleaning, and one morning as I prepared to start my day, I sat in front of my computer trying to find one that I had produced---one thing that was of exchangeable value---one thing that was abundant and efficient. There was nothing. No-thing!

So I went back into my archives and pulled out my list of strategies for maintaining a productive life. I felt it was time that I got a handle on things and started practicing what I preach. Now that I am back on track, I have decided to dedicate this week to sharing my strategies with you. Everyday, I will be sharing a small tip that will make a big impact on your week.

Tip #1:
Plan ahead. You can either plan your day the day before, or plan your days a week ahead. I personally create weekly plans. Your plan or system for achieving productivity should be detailed and results driven. You should use phrases like:

Today I will email my new proposal to 5 potential clients between the hours of 9am and 11am

Or

Today I will read 1 chapter in my new book between 7am and 8pm

If you commit to implementing the first tip for one week you will get more done with less effort. You will also feel like more hours have been added to your day because instead of being busy or occupied, you will be more efficient.

To Blog…Nakeia

This is My Confession...

Liar, liar pants on fire!
You can’t handle the truth!
There’s nothing wrong with a little white lie.
The truth hurts.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.
Confession is good for the soul.

Why do people lie---really?

...Most of the time the truth ends up coming out anyway. At least that has always been the case for me. I would be lying if I said that I don’t lie. Like when there is a lightning storm and my daughter asks me if I am scared. I always say no but the truth is I am terrified of lightning storms. Of course I can’t tell her that because that would scare her. Or---and this is a bad one---like the time I told my grand-mom that a cart hit her brand new car. The truth is a backed into a pole because I wasn’t paying attention to my driving. She still doesn’t know the truth. So it is a good thing that she refuses to use the internet! That was thirteen years ago so please don’t judge me…

The kinds of lies that have always amazed me are the ones we tell to ourselves. How can you lie to yourself---you were there, you were the one who experienced it, you were the one who did it---you know the truth! As crazy as it sounds, we do it all the time. We say that we were busy, when the truth is we were procrastinating. We say we are too tired, when the truth is we are lazy. We say we want to change, when the truth is we are comfortable with things staying the same.

The truth may hurt sometimes, especially the ones we have to face about ourselves. But the hurt will be overshadowed by your new found freedom. Sometimes the truth will be so hard to handle you will feel like your whole world is on fire and not just your pants (I just had to throw that in there). Little white lies you tell yourself keep you detached from reality and you will spend the rest of your life dreaming about what you want to have instead of experiencing it.

Confession is truly good for your soul. I feel much better now that I have told the truth about what I did to my grand-mom’s car. I don’t know if I will tell her yet, but this is about being truthful with ourselves anyway---right? Yeah, that’s it…

Make today National Tell the Truth to Myself Day! Be honest with the one who matters the most---be honest with you. If you have been feeling stuck or like something has been holding you back, it is probably because the lies you have been telling yourself are preventing you from moving forward. Face the truth and be free.

To Blog…Nakeia

Note to Self...

Think about the person that you spend most of your time with---the person that you communicate the most---the person that you share your dreams and aspirations with.

Now most of you have in your mind your spouse or best friend. Some of you have considered a sibling or favorite cousin---but the person that I am referring to is you.

You spend most of your time with yourself. You communicate with yourself more than you communicate to anyone else. That communication takes place in your thoughts, personal journals, dreams, and lets be real, some of us literally talk to ourselves---out loud.

It has been reported that 87% of self-communication is negative.

I want you to learn to engage in positive self-communication. Starting today, I want you to communicate, out loud, 5 positive statements to yourself. You can write them down and read them aloud. You can speak them out loud in the car on the way to work. You can look at yourself in the mirror and say them every morning. However, you feel comfortable doing is okay by me, so long as you begin today.

You can only reach your fullest potential if you identify your strengths and remind yourself of them daily.

To Blog...Nakeia