Pressing Pause

There are times in my life when I have come across something that is so important to me that it requires my undivided attention. For instance, I not so literally pressed the pause button for everything else in my life to graduate high school and then college. I pressed it again to plan a wedding and relocate to another state to be with my husband. Yet again, I pressed pause to assist my husband in building our music production company---and again to develop my business as a makeup artist.

I must say, however, none of those times were more significant than pressing pause to welcome the arrival of my baby girl. She rightfully planted herself right-smack- dab (whatever that actually means) in the middle of my life and occupied 99.9% of my time, energy, and undivided attention. Without hesitation I put everything else on hold to make sure that I gave her what she needed to grow into a healthy, responsible, respectful, and loving young toddler. I didn’t want distractions or opportunity for excuses to prevent me from living up to my responsibility as a mother, so I pressed pause until I could handle being the best mother I could be and then slowly added those things I put on hold back into my life.

Sometimes we can get so inundated with our to-do lists, success logs, and daily routines that we fail to focus on the one thing that will make all of the other things worth while. We suffer burn-outs, fail to achieve goals, and put off doing what’s important when all we really need to do is press pause. It is important to remember that what you pay attention to will grow---the object of your affection will be the object that defines your future.

As I prepare to press pause once again to welcome the arrival of my baby boy, I want you to consider using a pause button of your own. Ask yourself if it’s time for you to focus your undivided attention on something that you have been putting off, some place where you have not been getting the results you desire, or the one thing that will make all of the other things in your life worth while.

The next time you hear from me, I will be the proud mama of a brand new baby boy---talk to you in a few weeks!

To Blog…Nakeia

If The Truth Fits...

I spent most of my life fighting reality. The reality of who my parents were, who raised me, where I lived, how much money I had, my struggles to be successful--- and more reality and more reality---made me wish my life was different. As a child I would day dream about living in a big white house with a mom that baked cookies and a dad that spent his life fixing things. When I would open my eyes and see that I was still in my own little room in a little apartment in the projects, I would wonder why God would choose that life for me…

Now, years later, I have discovered the power to change some of those realities. I have also discovered the fact that no matter how hard I try, some realities just can’t be changed. My parents are who they are… My childhood was what it was… And the life God chose for me is the one that I am supposed to live.

Today is Friday and I have spent most of this week talking to some neighbors, friends, clients, and strangers about my reality. I do that often---sharing my reality and my truth, that is--- and I realize that my reality fits me... my truth fits me---and as I share them with others I am fulfilling my purpose to inspire, empower, and teach others to change what they can and accept what they can’t as part of what is needed for them to fulfill their own purpose.

What ever life you have been given is uniquely yours. Your reality is made for you and your truth is apart of a grander plan to give you the freedom to live the life you were born to live. Instead of fighting it, I encourage you to change the part of your reality that you have the power to change and embrace the truth that has made you uniquely you.

To Blog…Nakeia

What do you want to change about your life? What truth about your past has contributed, positively, to the person you are today? What’s in the story of your life that could help someone else?

Prepare For The Best

As I approach the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy, I realized something very significant about how parents prepare for the birth of a child. Typically, we prepare for the worst---which, when you really think about it, is a horrible way to welcome one of the most significant events in ones life.

We prepare ourselves for the pain of labor and delivery by attending birthing classes, studying up on pain medications, and listening to horror stories of other deliveries.

We prepare ourselves for sleepless nights with crying babies by attempting to get extra sleep before the baby is born and welcoming offers from the grandparents to attend to the baby during the day.

We prepare for diaper rashes by stocking up on creams. We prepare for fevers by stocking up on infant friendly medications. We prepare to fail at nursing by stocking up on formula.
In my preparation, I thought to myself what if the worst never happens…what if everything goes well. What will I do with all of the creams, medications, and grandparents?!?

Now of course every parent hopes for a healthy delivery and birth--- and in preparing we just want to make sure that we are not caught off guard. But I couldn’t help but think back to the delivery and birth of my first child. My husband and I were very strategic in our preparation. I asked God to give us a child that would sleep through the night, eat well, and never get sick. Well that is exactly what we received. My daughter was the best baby ever! No sleepless nights, diaper rashes, or fevers; and in six years she has never experienced more than a running nose. The worst never happened and that is exactly what we prepared for this time around!

How do you prepare for major events in your life? Do you prepare for the worst and just hope it never happens? No one wants to be caught off guard---but just think about how pleasant life would be if you prepared for the best possible outcome and that is exactly what you received. I am sure if you take the time to think back on your past experiences, you will find that the worst rarely ever happened---if it happened at all. I want you to adopt the belief that you get what you ask for and what you prepare for every time. When you prepare with that in mind, you create an atmosphere for the best possible outcome to happen.

Prepare for the best! When you prepare for the best, you leave no room for the worst to happen.

To Blog…Nakeia

Different From The Rest...

Have you ever purchased a brand new car, driven it off of the lot, and then noticed that seemingly ever other person in your city was driving the same exact car. Well, that may be an exaggeration. However, it does seem as if the minute you purchase or want to purchase something, you immediately begin to notice how many other people have already made the same purchase. For some this may make the purchase that much more appealing. You may think to yourself, if everyone else has it, it must be a great buy. For others, the idea of driving the same car as your neighbor from two houses down is not so appealing. You may feel like a copycat, unoriginal, and not like the trend setter you thought you were.

We have all heard that trends come and go, but in a world with more than ten different mainstream versions of essentially the same type of social networking, it has become increasingly more difficult to be an original anything. Most people do what most people do. In other words, people have began to only get involved in something when they hear that everyone else is doing it. It’s almost like high school. You know how we use to run home from school and beg our parents to buy us the jeans that the most popular girl or guy in school wore that day- in the hopes that we too could become the popular girl or guy in school.

Here’s the thing, if everyone else is driving it, wearing it, creating it, or leading the way with it, not only does the world not need you to do it, if you did it, I doubt if anyone would notice. That’s right, NO ONE WOULD NOTICE YOU.

If you want to get some notice- with your business, on your job, or even in your own home- you are going to have to do something different. What’s different about you is what sets you apart. What’s different about you is what will generate interest. What’s different about you may be exactly what the world needs.

We don’t another television reality star, social networking site, cell phone app, or the next Oprah. Learn to be an original in a world full of knock-offs!


To Blog…Nakeia


What makes you different form the rest? How can you use that difference to make money, impact your community, or influence the next generation?

Don't You Dare Compare

When you compare yourself to others, you limit yourself to their abilities.

Think about it. When you look at another person’s car, house, business, or family in admiration, your mind often shifts into wonder mode. You may wonder what that person does for a living. You may wonder how old he/she is and how long it took him/her to get it. You may even wonder what else that person may possess and what his/her bank account may state. Eventually, your mind will leave wonder mode and shift into why mode. You may ask yourself why don’t I drive a car like that, why is it taking me so long to get what I want, or why don’t I have a lot of money in the bank. Finally, after leaving wonder and why mode, your mind will probably spend the rest of the day in automatic replay mode. You will undoubtedly begin to replay all of the mistakes you have made over the years. You will think of the college you should have attended, the courses you should have taken, the state you should have moved to, and even the guy or girl you should have married.
While in automatic replay mode, you will begin to compare yourself to friends and co-workers, family members and even enemies. If you stay in this mode long enough, you may even visualize yourself living their lives, driving their cars, and spending their money. Your life now looks even worse than you thought.

What if you stop comparing yourself to others and start being inspired by them? What if the car you could buy from the money you made from your new business was a year or two newer than theirs? What if the inspiration you felt from the family you saw led you to create the family of your dreams?

You could be far more successful than the people you secretly envy if you simply stop comparing and start getting inspired.

Start by thinking of one person in or around your life that you have been comparing yourself to. Write down all of the things you admire about them--- their lifestyle and their possessions. Now simply tell yourself that you can have that…AND MORE. The AND MORE insert is very important because your talents, gifts, and vision may extend far beyond the other person’s reach.

Once you have you list, I want you to shift into wonder mode. Become amazed in admiration of what you could achieve, acquire, and reveal about yourself. Next, allow yourself to shift into why mode. Ask yourself why NOT me. There will be no good answer to that question because you CAN have everything you want in life if you doo what it takes to get it. Finally, settle into replay mode. Allow your mind to replay all of your dreams and goals that you have set and visualize yourself achieving them.

Since you were the one who set the limits; you have the ability to remove them. Do it today!

To Blog…Nakeia

Who inspires you? Do you compare yourself to others?

The Word NO

As I prepare to welcome our baby boy into the family, I can’t help but think of my baby girl. She just turned six years old last month, and my husband and I have been replaying her toddler days over and over in our minds. As we reminisce on all of her firsts--- her first smile, her first words, her first steps… we realize that we were in complete awe of her---and still are.

I remember the first time I told her NO. She was grabbing for my favorite earrings so I grabbed her hand and said NO. She looked at me as if I had two heads, and then went for the earrings again. That grab match went on for a few more seconds until I handed her one of her favorite toys to distract her from the lure of my favorite earrings.

Six years later, my baby girl still looks at me as if I have two heads when I tell her NO. I don’t know about you, but I do not like hearing the word NO either. When I make a request, I expect it to be granted. But as an adult, I realize that hearing the word NO has taught me much more than always hearing YES could have.

Joyce Spizer says something like… NO is a word you encounter on your path to YES.

Now when I first heard that phrase I thought to myself…what’s that suppose to mean. Then, after years of being an entrepreneur, I realized that life doesn’t have to end at NO. That is when the phrase… No is a word you encounter on your path to YES, started to make perfect sense to me. I have heard the word NO many times, but those NO’s made the one Yes I needed mean that much more. Hearing the word NO taught me patience, perseverance, and diligence. It has even forced me to miss a good opportunity only to stumble upon a great one.

I am somewhat of a realist. So, I understand that hearing the word NO is not a pleasant experience. There have been times when hearing a music executive say NO to a song I have poured my heart in soul into made me feel like a baby girl, hearing NO for the first time. And I sat there staring at that person as if he had two heads, I felt like storming out in tears. But instead, I just played another song and sometimes yet another, until I heard the word YES.

Patience, perseverance, and diligence are characteristics that you will never learn from always hearing YES. And if you have plans of being successful at anything, you are going to need them. However unpleasant the word NO can be, I want you to remember that life doesn’t have to end with that NO. All you need is one YES; and you will only hear it if you don’t give up!

To Blog…Nakeia

Do you just give up when someone tells you NO? What has hearing the word NO taught you?

Waiting On Perfect

You can plan it.

You can meet on it.

You can talk about it.

You can blog about it.

But...it will not get done until you do it.

This is not just a fact but it is a principle that I know ALL successful people come to realize early on.

There will never be the perfect time, perfect place, or perfect circumstance. When you really think about it, there always seems to be something that could be better.

You have a choice. You can sit, plan, prepare, research, and wait on perfect...or you can just start. You can start your book, start your blog, start your cupcake business, or start your marketing firm and watch your wonderful self create perfection right before your very own eyes.

Waiting on perfect will get you no where, but starting certainly will.

To Blog...Nakeia

Do you believe perfect exists? What could you start today?