Thursday, November 17, 2011

Blogging, Bantar, and Newness...

I am excited to have finally released the pause button! Last Thursday was my first day back to the world of blogging---and do I have a lot to say or do I have a lot to say?!.

First, let me say that my high school english teacher would be horrified to read my blogs. While I was away, I actually read through all of the blogs I have written and came to the realization that I need to re-visit English 101. I have always had a bad habit of not proof reading my work. Most of the time I get someone else to do that for me, but I didn't think I needed to do that for the blog. I usually write as I think and think as I write---which actually helps me as a song writer, but not so much as a blogger. So, you will be pleased to know that I will be proof reading my work from now on.

Second, I must also say that among my grammaticlly incorrect, typo filled, and sometimes bantaring blogs, I have some great tips, stories, and how-to's in my blog library. I even managed to encourage, mentor, and make my self laugh while reading through the past 177 blogs. So, when you get a moment, I suggest you take a look through the archives.

Third---and last for now---I am excited about the newness I have experienced in my personal and professional life and I can't wait to share it with you! I will continue to blog every Thursday until the end of the year---and---starting in January, I will go back to blogging everyday.

P.S. I will proof read starting with next week's blog.

To Blog...


Thursday, November 10, 2011

When All Else Fails...

Nothing in this world could have prepared me for this...

Not even this blog I wrote 3 weeks before delivering my son Chase (whom I affectionately call Lil' Mister). I was prepared to welcome my healthy baby boy into this world, armed with my camera, cell phone (So my family back home can listen in), and the cutest new born outfit I could find. I was eager to change his diaper, bath him, comb his hair and coddle him for the first time. I was looking forward to seeing what his first night in this new world would be like for him. I wanted to experience the first times he closed his eyes for the night and opened them to welcome in the next day. I was looking forward to the moment I could introduce him to his big sister--- witnessing the look on her face as she walked into our hospital room and saw me holding her little brother. I was looking forward to walking him out of the hospital doors after 2 days and into the house we had just moved in to (because we needed to make room for him).

Yet instead of the perfect scene I had imagined and prepared for, My son was whisked away from me and his father---minutes after he was born---and rushed to the NICU (Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit) where he stayed for 14 days, 19 hours, and 30 minutes. We were only permitted to interact with him for 1hour a few times a day...

A nurse changed his diaper, bathed him, combed his hair, and coddled him for the first time. I missed seeing his eyes close for the night and open the next morning. Total strangers spent the night with my son, while I sat, with my husband, in a lonely hospital room questioning every move I had made during my pregnancy, every lie I ever told, every person I ever offended, and every night I forgot to say a prayer before bed.

On day 6, as I walked out of the hospital leaving my baby in the care of doctors, nurses, and other staff, I felt horrified, guilty, empty, and strongly aware of the fact that there are some things that I just can't prepare for.

When we are faced with those things, we must replace preparation with faith. I wasn't prepared for my son to enter into this world under such unimaginable conditions, but my faith assured me that things would turn out just as they should---and they did. My Lil' Mister is healthy, happy, and ALWAYS hungry!

...When all else fails, have faith.

What have you been unprepared for lately? What have you needed to have fath in? How have you handled recent unimaginable conditions?

To Blog...