Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The 14 Billion Dollar Question

What is my purpose?

That question is worth 14 billion dollar a year--- 14 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR! It has been reported that the self-improvement/self-help industry makes any where from 9 to 14 billion dollars a year. By self- improvement I mean diet, money, purpose, and relationship books, seminars, DVD’s, CD’s, and coaches. People spend their hard earned money trying to find the answer to a question that I will answer for you for FREE today.

So here it is:

Your purpose is the use your special talents, natural abilities, and God-given gifts, to enhance your personal and professional life, as well as the lives of every single person you come in contact with. In order to fulfill that purpose, you must spend time developing those talents, abilities, and gifts daily; so that you can exercise them effectively.

That is it. That is the reason you exist. That is your purpose.

If you still have questions concerning your purpose, you can write me a check for 14 Billion Dollars and I will spend a whole year reminding you of that every day!

To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Dream Awake!

My daughter and I had an interesting conversation about dreams. She doesn’t have nightmares often, but there was one nightmare in particular that really has her spooked. All I will say about it is that it involves seafood and seems like more of a comedy scene in a cartoon than a nightmare. Nevertheless, she doesn’t want it to reoccur…and…she doesn’t want to eat salmon any time soon.

I shared with her my secret power to control my dreams. I am sure that I have shared this with you before, but I developed a way to control my dreams when I was a kid. There may not be any science to back me up, but whatever I direct my thoughts toward right before falling asleep is what I end up dreaming about. It has worked for me for years and it worked for my daughter last night.

The interesting thing about dreams is that they can occur while asleep or awake. A dream can be a fantasy or a terror. Either way I believe we all possess the power to control them…especially the dreams we dream while awake. Based on my own personal experience, this is truth and I don’t need a scientist to confirm it.

Today, focus on the dreams that you dream awake. Direct your thoughts toward a series of images, emotions, and goals that can go from fantasy to reality. Your personal and professional possibilities are only limited by your thoughts toward them. Once you understand the control you have to direct and focus your thoughts, you will unlock a whole new world of possibilities.

It seems the dreams of owning a house with a white picket fence or breaking a new world record has been replaced with the temporary reality of current circumstances. Whatever circumstances you are facing right now are temporary. Your life could change in an instant. One pone call or email could change your life. Dreams are not just for children. You must nurture your childhood dreams of becoming the best at everything you do.

Don’t take my word or the word of my five year old daughter. See for yourself. Dare to access your secret power to control the dreams you dream awake. Replace your terrible thoughts of anxiety with thoughts of fearless goals and you will begin to create a nightmare free life.

Dare to dream awake!

To blog…Nakeia

Monday, September 27, 2010

Challenge Update (Re-Focus Your Focus)

What area of your life gets the most attention?

Throughout the course of the day, where is your focus?

The thing that you concentrate your effort, attention, or emphasis on the most, is the thing that will be clearly developed in your life.

Stacy, my pick for the Leave 2010 With No Regrets Challenge, has decided that not being able to focus on her own personal and professional development has been her biggest regret. So, her goal for the next 95 days is to Re-focus her Focus. Stacy is going to re-adjust her vision in order to see her life’s purpose clearly. Over the past couple of weeks, she has discovered that her need to please others, her over extended daily routine, and her lack of clarity concerning her professional career has clouded her vision. Believe it or not, she has come to this discovery by doing less. Instead of being busy, she has learned to be productive. Instead of just listening to the advice of family and friends, she is listening to herself. Instead of focusing her effort, attention, and emphasis on the things that are going wrong in her life, she has re-focused her attention on the things that she wants to go right.

It is easy to get out of focus. Daily routines, family commitments, and unpleasant circumstances get in the way. But remember, the thing that you focus or concentrate on the most, is the thing that will be clearly developed in your life. For example, if you focus your attention on your lack of fluid income, you can not focus on ways to create a positive flow of income. Your focus or area of concern must be on the thing that you want to happen in your life.

Here is an exercise I gave to Stacy:

Write a list of things that typical go wrong throughout the course of one day. Create a list that spans an entire day from morning until evening (i.e. wake up late, traffic, can’t find parking, etc). Once you have completed your list, start the next day by focusing on the opposite of everything on your list. You can do this by creating a list that opposes the original list (i.e. wake up on schedule, no traffic, find parking, etc).

That is not an exercise in attitude, but in focus. If your attention is directed toward waking up on schedule so that you can avoid heavy traffic and find reasonable parking that is exactly what will develop into a regular routine.

Create a list of your own so that you can Re-focus your focus.

To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

In With The New!

Waiting is a trap.
There will always be reasons to wait.
The truth is there are only two things in life...

Reasons and Results...

...and reasons simply don't count.

~ Dr. Robert Anthony

The good doctor is right. There will always be reason to wait. Unfortunately, waiting will result in no RESULTS.

There is 101 days left in 2010. I want you to resolve to start the New Year with a New You. But here is thing, start your new year today. Don't fall into the trap of waiting.

Leave 2010 with NO REGRETS!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Waiting With A Purpose

As I prepared for this blog, the subject felt all too familiar. The words I began to type seemed to be a replay of something that I have either written or spoke about before. So I looked through my little notebooks, speech history, and blogs and sure enough---there it was---a blog I titled Tired of Waiting (revisit that one later).

Well, here’s a little more on the subject of waiting:

To wait is to remain stationary in readiness or expectation; to delay in hope of a favorable change; or to hold back expectantly (Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary). During further research of the subject of waiting, I also realized that there are two types of waiting.

English 101:

Waiting is a verb that can be transitive or intransitive. A transitive verb is a verb with a direct object (purpose, aim, or goal). An intransitive verb is a verb with no direct object (purpose, aim, or goal). So, to wait transitively is to wait with a purpose…to stay in place because something is expected to happen. To wait intransitively is to wait with no clear purpose in mind…to do nothing expecting for something to happen. I know this may sound like a lecture, but I need to you to understand the difference.

I am waiting for my business to grow because I have spent time in marketing development and have prepared a campaign designed specifically to attract new clients.
I am waiting on my business to grow because it has been my life-long dream to own a business; and it has to work out for me.


I am waiting for the right time to start my business.
I am waiting until I have a clear vision that I can translate into a business plan before I launch my new business.

Ralph Waldo Emerson asked the question---how much of human life is lost in waiting.

If you are in waiting…waiting to begin something new or complete something old…ask yourself this question:

Am I waiting with a purpose?

To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Unspoken Language

I talk a WHOLE lot.

But I know this to be true:

What I do, in life, is far more important than what I say.

Actions are an unspoken language that can not be misunderstood.

Today, don't say it---Do IT!

To Blog...Nakeia

Monday, September 13, 2010

Just a Reminder...

I received such an unexpected response from Friday's re-post. Some of my faithful followers sent me emails, text messages, and instant messages just to say thanks for the reminder. But what always catches me off guard, are the followers that I am unaware of ---the people that view the link from Facebook or people that are third party followers...

At the suggestion of one of my mentees, I took the time to read over some of my old posts. She was right...I am good! There were some strategies, quick tips, and my own personal experiences that helped me put some things back into perspective. She also right about the fact that give A LOT of my services away for free! Soon, I am going to have to start charging you Internet!!

Here is another good one:

Show Up...

During my last year of high school I experienced the worst migraine headaches ever. I mean the kind of headaches that would make my vision blurred, my speech slurred, and leave me completely incapacitated. I saw doctors and specialists. I tried medication and meditation. Nothing worked. It was so bad that I missed over 20 days of school and was told that I may not be able to graduate. I kept up with my assignments but the school’s policy stated that students were not permitted to be absent from school more than a certain number of days. In order to graduate, I had to turn in a note of explanation from my doctors which stated my medical condition and detailed how it could leave me unable to attend class. That letter of excuse saved me the trouble of repeating 12th grade.

An excuse is, among other things, an apology, justification, or note of explanation for an absence. It is acceptable to offer an excuse for being absent from class due to sickness. It is not acceptable to offer an excuse for being absent from the possibility of success. When you decide to make excuses, you are deciding not to show up to open the door when opportunity knocks. This is another area of my life that was difficult for me to shake. I was often guilty of making excuses. I gave what I thought were pretty compelling reasons why I didn't complete something I started or for something that I simply never started at all. When I realized what it really meant to make excuses, I made a pledge to myself never to do it again.

Join me and make a pledge to yourself ,today, never to excuse yourself from life again. Make a decision to be present. To be present is to exist. No more excuses. Show up! Your note of explanations will no longer be accepted.

If you are unsure of your purpose, confused about your next move, or are in an uncomfortable period of preparation, I suggest you join me in reading through my archives. In the words of my mentee, I am good at what I do. But even I need a reminder that will help put things into perspective from time to time...

To Blog...Nakeia

Friday, September 10, 2010

Keeping It Real

I have been working with a few people on the importance of preparation---one of those people being me.

I have been feeling extremely anxious lately. I have so many dreams--- so many ideas--- so many goals. And I want to fulfill every single one of them---right now! I say that timing is key and preparation is necessary. But I am going to keep it real and also say, "I am TIRED of waiting!"

To rid myself of this anxiety, I read through an old post of mine and I decided to repost it.

Here it is:

When Opportunity Knocks...

There is a story about a wealthy man who was dying from an incurable disease. He built his wealth from hard work and savvy business deals. He was an intelligent man that came from nothing, and created everything he needed to live the life he was destined to live. When asked about his secret to his success, he always answered “I was prepared to open the door when opportunity knocked.”

He was married to his childhood sweetheart for over fifty-three years when she died suddenly in her sleep. She was never able to bare children so there was no heir to his estate. When the wealthy man learned of his illness, he began his search to find someone to leave his riches with. To qualify, there were only three conditions; this person had to have come from his hometown, be of meager beginnings and be prepared to start working towards the fulfillment of their destiny immediately. This was an opportunity of a lifetime for a small town person with big plans and little means.

Unfortunately, the wealthy man died; leaving his estate to charity. You see, he interviewed a lot of people who were not prepared to act on what they said they were destined to do. I refer to the wealthy man’s story often. I encounter many hard working people with dreams of fulfilling their ultimate goals. Unfortunately, if opportunity ever knocked on their door, they would not be prepared to open it. Your thinking, how is it possible to be hard working, have goals, and not be considered prepared?

Humor me for a moment and answer your own question by doing this:

Think of the thing you believe you are destined to do. Is it to become a best-selling author? Is it to become CEO of a company? Now imagine receiving a call from a publishing house or board of directors informing you that today is the day that you can do what you’ve always wanted to do. You are a hard worker. You have goals. Now…are you prepared? Have you prepared your manuscript? Do you know everything you need to know to run a company? If your answer is yes, great! You are well on your way. If you answered no, start preparing today. It is important to be prepared for the “what” while you are waiting on the “when.” In other words, you may not know when your boss will offer you the promotion…but when he does, you better know how to do the job!

Preparation+ Opportunity=Success ~Sydney Poitier

After reading my own words, I decided to apply them to my own life. I went over my plans and assessed the work that I have done over the past 2 months and here is what I have learned:

I have yet to complete the final edit of the book I am so anxious to release.
I have not decided on a layout for my website I am so anxious to launch.
I have not finalized my new price points...

...I am not prepared

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Challenge Update!

I have been working with Stacy for just about two weeks now and she has come a long way in such a short period of time! The only thing I assigned her to do was to sit and listen to her self twice a day. Just doing that opened Stacy’s eyes to the fact that, she has been heavily influenced by outsiders.

Stacy's words:
I almost didn’t recognize my own inner voice. I have been worried about--- and listening to what other people say for too long. I haven’t been living my life. I have been living the life everyone else wanted for me.

Can you relate? Has the voice of outsiders been drowning out your own voice?

Beware of outsiders!
An outsider, within this context, is someone who is not directly attached to your purpose, plan, and intentions for your life; someone whose power and influence will not add value to your life; and someone whose life does not exemplify success, contentment, and wholeness. No ones voice should be more influential to yours. You will not succeed at living a life that is designed by someone else.

Here are a few questions that will indicate whether or not you are too heavily influenced by outsiders:

When you get an idea, do you call someone to validate it?
When making a decision, do you worry about what someone else will think?
When you have decided on an action, can someone easily talk you out of doing it?
How much of what you have done this week, was your idea?
Are you living the life you chose?

Moving forward, to ensure that you are hearing your own voice and living the life you desire, ask this question before making your next move:

Am I doing this because I want to or because an outsider wants me to?

To Blog…Nakeia

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Element of Surprise

Getting my daughter to keep a secret is the hardest thing to do. It’s as if she is going to explode with information at any minute. In our house, special occasions are especially difficult for her. She wants the honoree to be surprised, but she also wants to shout from the mountain top what gift, card, or special project she has in store. I try to explain to her that being able to keep a secret or hide a gift is just as exciting as sharing the moment of surprise; but for her, it’s just all too overwhelming…

On the other hand I sort of know how my daughter feels. Whenever I am writing a new song or working on a new project, I have a difficult time keeping it to myself. I may get so excited about the premise of a song that I have to call and share it with my sister. I may get overwhelmed by the promise of a new business prospect that I have to email my BFF. But---there is nothing worse than to have that overwhelming feeling of excitement, ruined by the lack of enthusiasm from someone else.

Your talents, skills, and countless abilities are your gifts to the world. Using those things to the best of your ability is how you will leave your mark. As excited as you may be to share them, releasing those gifts before they are fully developed may ruin their effect. It is true that you only get one chance to make a first impression. Taking the time to master your craft and detail your vision before you introduce it to the world will ensure that you leave a lasting impression.

…Speaking of vision. Your vision for your life is your vivid mental image. That means it is impossible for someone else to see your life exactly the way you see it. Your vision for your business, marriage, children, and personal image is unique to only you. It is possible for you to share your vision in such a detailed way that someone else may be able to imagine it; but even then, that person’s perceptual experience will be quite different than yours. You don’t want that difference to ruin your excitement for your vision. So take care in who you share it with.

Some things may be for your eyes only--- at least until the opportunity to share them is met with your preparation. Don’t ruin the element of surprise or enthusiasm for your gift to the world by presenting it prematurely. Spend time in preparation. Use time to your advantage.

Here are two quick tips for today:

Do not share an idea before it is fully developed. An idea is better served as a plan. Do your research and become as knowledge on the subject of your idea/plan as possible. You want to be prepared for questions and possible opportunities.

Develop Bullet Points. I am sure that there is an idea that you are extremely excited about at this very moment. After reading this blog you realize that you have been sharing your idea prematurely. If you are like my daughter and just can’t keep a secret, develop three Bullet Points that you can intelligently share. Those points can be as simple as the name of your idea, how you conceived it, and who can benefit from it.

To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Habit Hoarders

I tune in to many shows on A&E during the week, but Hoarders is not one of them. I just can not get into the whole being dirty and stinky---on purpose and then crying about thing. However for the past few weeks, they have been advertising the new season's premiere, as being the worst ever! Someone even threatened to call the health department! However luring the clip of the season premiere may seem, I still think filthy grownups is just too much for me.

(Disclaimer: As a former mental health professional, I am sensitive to the clinical aspects of hoarding. It is dirty and stinky nonetheless.)

So as I was viewing the clip of the season premiere of Hoarders, for the 100th time, I started thinking about Habit Hoarders. A Habit Hoarder is someone that stores a substantial supply of habits. The habits are most often negative and the hoarder usually admits that the habit should be replaced, however they hang on to them. Just like those who hoard food, clothes, or newspapers, people who hoard habits hang on to them for comfort. Things that are familiar bring a sense of comfort. To break a bad habit, you must delve into the unfamiliar. You must let go of your supply of bad habits and replace them with good ones.

If you store bad habits, you are a Habit Hoarder. If you have been saying that you were going to stop doing something and have yet to stop it, you are a Habit Hoarder. If you hang on to old habits in the unlikely case that they may be of good use to you one day, you are a Habit Hoarder. But---that can change, if you change it!

Here are a few strategies that will help you get rid of those bad habits once an for all:

The Switch. The most fool proof way to get rid of a bad habit is to switch or replace it with a new one. That sounds simple because it is. If you want to stop the bad habit of smoking a cigarette to relieve stress, switch to listening to music instead.

Reward or Punishment. Everyone likes to be rewarded for good behavior and no one likes to be punished for bad. To break your bad habit use a reward or punishment system. Set up a system that gives you rewards of substance. Stay away from rewarding yourself would food or clothing because that may lead to the introduction of new bad habits. If the reward system isn't a big enough incentive, include a system of punishment. For example, if you make the decision to re-engage in a bad habit one day, you can punish yourself by abstaining from your favorite television show that night.

All or Nothing Emphasis. You either want to break your bad habit or you don't. There is no such thing as eating a little too much. If you want to break the bad habit of overeating, you can't decide to eat a restrictive diet all week and then eat whatever you want on the weekend. That type of strategy will not get you results. Instead of having a bad habit of over-eating all week, you will have a bad habit of overeating on the weekends. To break a bad habit, you must go all the way!
Those are three simple strategies that will get you results!

To Blog...Nakeia

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Parent Trap

Lindsay Lohan is at the top of the news once again. I will save my opinion on her situation for private banter. However, I can't help but be intrigued by the talk surrounding her parents. You will not hear talk of Lindsay without hearing about her mess of a father and mother. If you know anything about my life, you will agree that I can relate, on many levels, to some of Lindsay's back story---or at least the story the media has shared with world.

Parenting it the most underrated job ever. Some people just have kids to satisfy their own personal desire to be loved, to dictate, and to fulfill their American dream of the All American Family.

A husband/wife and a couple of kids in a photo every Christmas does not a happy family make...

I was speaking with a friend today, and it amazed me to hear how much of our parents ideals were coming out of our mouths. From the type of family we wanted to the type of careers we wanted to have, it was obvious that the lives our parents led and the values, or lack there of, that they held dear directly affected us.

The fact that my friend's parents did not fully develop in the areas of education and professional achievement, prompted my friend to lack in development in those same areas. She says things like I am not good at that, or I am not good enough, smart enough, or ambitious enough do do that.

The fact that my family were blue collar workers, who believed in working hard no matter what, prevented me from starting my own business for years. Not only did I have a hard time imagining myself as a business owner, but I was afraid of what they thought about me not punching a clock everyday. I would say things like--- I want to start my own business, but I have to work. What in the world does that even mean?

Listen to yourself speak. Listen to the things that you tell your children. Now ask yourself if that is you or your parents speaking. Your parents may have done the best they could to with you. But your parent's best is not your best. Your parents may be very successful. They may be well educated, provided a great home for you, and may have set an excellent example of family for you as well. But their best is still not your best.

Understand this, you will always be limited by the ability of the people you compare yourself to. Even if the people you are comparing yourself to go by the name of Mom and Dad.

To Blog...Nakeia

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Yahoo and Me...

I have shared some stories from my life many times on this blog. As a speaker, I use my story as an introduction, and as a mentor I use my story, along with my research and professional experience, often to illustrate a particular point. So as part of my introduction to the Metro Atlanta area, I hosted a Lunch and Learn and invited some fellow speakers, authors, musical artists, and entrepreneurs to come and hear some of my story first hand.

The world is full of great people with interesting stories of overcoming obstacles, building success after years of failure; and stories of people becoming more than their circumstances, experiences, and even family told them they could be. So as compelling as the story of my life is to me, I pray, every time I get ready to speak, that I don’t bore the audience.
A wonderful woman by the name of Karen Francis came out to learn about me. She was also kind enough to invite four other people---which blew me away because she had never met me before that day. Although with her career in finance, real estate, radio, and marketing, Karen is a writer. She and I are a lot alike in that we believe in using every gift, talent, and skill that we have to add value to our lives as well as others we come in contact with. I really dig her style!
Anyway, Karen didn’t find me boring---thank God! She actually asked to interview me for the Associated Content for Yahoo. I am still working on my blogging skills and have yet to read the book I picked up on HTML. So please, bear with me as I the ancient way of posting a link to the interview.
Click here to read the article

To Blog…Nakeia