Thursday, June 7, 2012

New Blog Is Live!!!

I am excited to announce that Nakeia C Homer dot com is ALL THE WAY LIVE!!!

Be sure to update your book marks and RSS feeds to stay connected!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Making Things Happen

A box of tissues was tossed in the center of a circle full of about thirty business owners, wives, fianc├ęs, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends. We were all there with an idea of what we wanted to achieve during that full-day Making Things Happen intensive---well at least I know I did--- but when we left that evening we were all pleasantly surprised by what we had actually achieved.

I wanted branch away from the normal seminars and conferences I usually attend each year to give me a jolt in business. So, I looked for a woman; who was successfully running multiple businesses and a home---and I found Lara Casey and her two great friends Emily and Gina--- and because of them I got exactly what I needed.

If I come across as a know it all, it’s because usually I think I know it all. Well, I don’t really think I know it all, but when it comes to my businesses and my main interests I research, I study, and I immerse myself in as much information as possible, so I think I know a whole lot.

 The MTH Intensive not only made it clear to me that there is so much more that I need to know about being a successful business owner (which is why I attended), it also became clear that attending seminars, conferences, or intensives that also focuses on being successful, wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends, would make me a successful business person. Period.

In my practice, I teach whole-life success. I know for sure--- that in order to be great at anything, you must be at least good at everything that is important to you. However, most of the time, I would compartmentalize everything and give the roles of business owner, wife, and parent their own little tidy space in my life to keep them separate and not always equal. I would take off one hat to put on another. Honestly, all of those wardrobe changes were making me exhausted! 

The MTH intensive made me realize that it was time to get rid of those hats, and to embrace each area of my life so that every area can feel supported. I wanted to give my business a jolt, but I actually got a swift jolt in my whole life.

Here are a couple of key points I have added to my approach to whole-life success: 

Strive for progress not perfection. When you are responsible for a business, a family, and yourself, perfection can become your biggest distraction. I thought if I couldn’t get something perfect then I shouldn’t do anything at all. At the end of each day I would be left right where I started. I am not always perfect, but I am a work in progress.

Life is too short not to enjoy every moment. By compartmentalizing each area of my life, I was limiting my joyful moments. While working I was thinking about what I had to do with the kids. When with the kids I was thinking about what I had to do at work. I have the pleasure of working from home, so nothing stands in the way of going to give a quick kiss to my kids when a thought of them pops in my head. Embracing those moments instead of thinking about embracing those moments, clears up space in my head so that I can work more effectively.

I strongly recommend that you find out more about Lara Casey, Emily Ley, and Gina Zeidler

To Blog...Nakeia

Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Good Ole' Days

Your past is only relevant to your present if it positions you for your future.

For the past 3 weeks, I have been hosting a few clients for my Get Clear. Get Focused… 5 Week Intensive. We have been strategically tackling clarity and focus killers---taking them down week by week---but this week’s focus seemed a bit challenging for some.

I explained to the attendees that their past could be clouding their judgment and keeping them from being clear and focused and this is why:

Your past or your history must be perceived with the intentions of growth and forward thinking if it is to be helpful to your future. This is necessary because if you look to the past and perceive happier and more successful experiences than in your present, if you are not careful, you can become bitter, stuck, and emotionally depleted; which will ultimately cause you to digress instead of progressing.

Here is a common sense statement of truth that helped them and it could help you:

If things were are good as you thought they were back in the day, you would have no problem making them good right now.

Think about that statement for a moment. The common thread between your past, your present, and your future is YOU. People in your life may have changed or come and gone, you may be in a different place in your life (physically and mentally), and you may not possess the same things you used to possess. But, YOU are still here. And---if YOU were able to attract the people, places, and things that made back in the day so good, YOU should be able to do the same thing now.

If you have been bitter, stuck, and emotionally depleted because of your perception of the past, here is your approach:

Look ahead. I have said this many times before, and I’ll most certainly say it many more times, but this is essential. Looking ahead promotes expectation, right thinking, and positive action. Your future will be as good as you make it. Look ahead for ways to create your good life.

Look for lessons. It is great if you are one of the very few people who only have success stories in your history. I, for one, have failed at some things. And--- those failures are directly responsible for my current---and future success. I have many life lessons to pull from. I find that people learn more from the things they have done wrong, than from what they have done right.

Get a grip. Here is some loving truth for you… the good ole’ days weren’t that good. It is impossible to have done all of the right things, had all of the success you can imagine--- in your past---and then live a life that totally sucks today. IMPOSSIBLE. Something that you did led you to where you are today. So, you need to look back, grab a hold of whatever lesson you need to learn, and keep it moving.

Don’t let you past kill your focus. Your past is gone, and all you really have is not today, but this very moment. What you do with this moment will determine how good your future will be.

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Common Sense Is Not So Common

Most people do things that make no sense.

They live in houses they can’t afford, stay in relationships that make them miserable, clock in to jobs they hate, eat foods that make them sick, and take whatever life gives them instead of asking for what they want---and probably deserve.

Now I know that you would never do any of those things, but maybe you can think of a “friend” who does.

What if I told you that you, I mean your “friend” could change you whole life by implementing one major principle. You, I mean your friend, could have financial freedom, positive relationships, prosperous careers, good health, and you could start getting everything you want---and deserve out of life, by simply doing what make sense. It’s true, with a healthy dose of common sense, your life can be better---much better.

If you want better in life and are not afraid to admit that you don’t always do things that make sense, here is your approach:

Before you approach your next decision, goal, or personal/professional relationship ask your self this questions:

What would make sense, does this make sense, or am I using good ole’ common sense?

Those questions, if applied correctly, and answered honestly can be life changing.

To blog…Nakeia

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Under, Over, or Does it Really Even Matter?

The biggest fight my husband and I ever had--- to date--- happened in the second week of our marriage.

There were many words exchanged…most of which I can’t and probably shouldn’t remember. In short, I am ashamed to say that we almost considered ending our marriage because of an argument over whether the toilet paper roll should be placed on the toilet paper roll holder, in an under or over position. Yes. In that crazy moment in our two week old marriage, we questioned our compatibility because I wanted the toilet paper in the over position and my husband thought he should let the toilet paper roll fall where it may (he didn’t care if it was under or over and didn’t want to even think about it when it was time to replaced the roll). We will be married ten years this year, so let’s just say we got over it.

Two valuable principles were implemented, in our marriage, from that moment on.

1. In our house, the toilet paper must be in the OVER position---after all the husband didn’t care anyway.

2. Focus on what matters.

It makes no sense to allow the thing s that serve no real purpose---the things that don’t really matter--- in your life, get you out of focus and off balance. Those things, whatever they may be, only serve the as distractions. I am certain that the things that are distracting you right now are much more significant than how to hang the toilet paper roll. Whatever your distractions may be, just ask yourself:

Does this really matter? Will this make or break my life? Is this worth my time and attention? Is this wasting my time?

If you have been out of focus and off balance, and you know it’s because of things that don’t really matter, here is your approach:

Review your intentions. Whether you are on a mission to fulfill a specific goal, in the middle of an important decision(like how to hang the toilet paper), or contemplating the importance of a relationship, review your intentions or your reasons why you are doing what you are doing and ask yourself is this serving its purpose. Reviewing your intentions will keep you aligned with your purpose and focused on what matters.

Develop hand written or typed and printed action steps. It’s not enough to just say what you want to do. You must have a plan, in the form of step-by-step and decisive actions that you will take each day. Hand writing it or typing and printing it will serve as accountability. As you complete a step you can cross it off. This simple strategy will keep you so focused on what matters, you won’t have time to be distracted.

Ask the necessary questions. Before you act ask the question does this matter. Before a serious discussion, a difficult decision, an action toward a goal, an answered email, or an answered phone call, ask your self:

Does this really matter?

If your answer is yes, this will help me fulfill my goal, make better decisions, improve my relationship, or add value to my life; do it. If your answer is no, this will get me out of focus, off balance, or waste my time; don’t do it.

I gave you the example of a crazy argument between me and my husband, which is now a running joke among my family, to illustrate how focusing on the things that serve no real purpose in your life can get you out of focus. But building a marriage, a life of peace and balance, or a business is no joke. It takes strategic planning, decisive action, and a clear focus. You can start by doing what matters!

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, April 5, 2012

No More IFs

If---if had a shadow, it would look like failure.

Whenever you hear a people speak of their perceived failure, the word if is always present.

IF I had money…
IF I had more time…
IF I were younger…
IF I had different parents…

…and those I just the ones I’ve used.

The one thing that everyone that has ever failed at any time has in common is:

They know the reasons why.

They believe that the ifs explain away their lack of achievement.

I understand the temptation to cling to the ifs. It seems as if it shields you from the full implications of failure. But what it actually does is leave you standing in the shadows of what could have been your shinning moments in life.

IF you had been more persistent…
IF you had not given up…
IF you had trusted yourself more…
IF you came out of the shadow…

…what could you have achieved?

To step out of the shadows and into your success, here is your approach:

Take the ifs out of your vocabulary. The word if is used to indicate the circumstances that would have to exist in order for something to happen. Sometimes circumstances are uncontrollable conditions. You may not be able to control the circumstance, but you can always control you actions toward it.

Do it anyway! Whenever you feel the temptation to use the word if to explain why you are making a choice not to do something, do it anyway. Leave your explanations in the shadow and demand your shinning moment.

If you take the ifs out of your vocabulary, as it pertains to your success, and do what ever it is you need to do, despite the circumstance, you will experience more shinning moments in your life and failure will no longer be an option.

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Get Things Done

At least twice a week some mommy, some wife, some business owner, some purpose seeker, or some random person will ask me how I find time to get things done.

This week in particular, an old friend sent me a facebook message asking me how many hours a week I worked.

The answer is always different, because I have to adjust my schedule, on a moments notice, due to the fact that I am a mommy, a wife, a multi-business owner, a purpose seeker, and sometimes I am very random.

There are, however, a few things that always remain the same; and if you are trying to make sense of your schedule and really get things done, here is a great approach:

Wake up early/Go to bed late. This approach is by far the most important for me and the most difficult ALL AT THE SAME TIME. But the bottom line is, if I am going to get anything significant accomplished, I am going to have to do it when no one else is awake. You can decide to wake up early in the morning to work, stay up late to work, or join me in doing both. Just commit to carving out the time you need to get things done.

Turn off the television/unplug the phone. I don’t think this needs explaining. But, just in case, it can be explained by answering this question: How much time did you spend watching television and/or on the phone today that could have been spent getting things done? If you have wasted even a second of your life doing either or both of those things, when you could have been getting things done, you know what you need to do.

Check-in often. There are three times during my day that I take the time to check in. This is especially important for work at-home-moms and entrepreneurs. When left to our own devices it’s easy to get distracted by everyday occurrences. Checking in with your daily planner will help you stay on task and keep you far from distractions. I check in once my oldest child has left for school, after I have prepared lunch, and once again when everyone has gone to bed.

These strategies seem simple. But the simple and effective things that most people overlook, is exactly what people who need to get things done need to do. Implementing these three quick strategies, today, will help you get more done than you have all week!

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Making My Way Through

I am the oldest of 6 siblings. However, I was raised in my home as an only child for most of my life. Let's just say I am no stranger to me time and I value that time very much.

Now that I am a wife and mother of two, I can only grab me time if I wake up at 5am.

For the past month or so, I have been working through some difficult times. Anyone that ever attempts to become a master of their life understands that difficulty is unavoidable. It is impossible to master a skill without putting it through a test. I don’t know about you, but I have rarely met an easy test.

I am proud to say that no matter how difficult the times or the test, I always win. I spent my me time this morning going over my wins as a means of encouraging myself through this time and here is what I discovered:

What makes me a better mentor to those struggling to make sense of their lives, a better mother to my two children, a better wife, a better sister, a better friend, and a better blogger, is my ability to work my way through to the other side.

You see, if you are facing difficulty or struggle, it is because you are heading in the direction of something that is it’s opposite. The opposite of difficulty is ease. You just have to make your way through. Once you master a skill to the point of ease, the next time you make an attempt at mastery, of any kind, will feel easier and easier.

If you have been met with difficulty of any kind and need some encouragement as you make your way through, From Strength to Struggle is a great post for you to read today.

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Get What You've Always Wanted

Most people don’t get what they want in life simply because they don’t know what they want.

The most important discoveries you will ever experience in life is:

…Coming into the full realization of who you are.
…Uncovering the revelation of what you are here to do
…Identifying exactly what you want to experience in life.
…Understanding exactly what you need to fulfill your desires.

I believe that you only really start living life, when you approach it seeking out those discoveries. If you frequent my blog, twitter, or facebook homes, you know that I teach that approach to motivated men and women who have struggle with achieving specific goals, making better decisions, and cultivating positive relationships.

Last week I received an email from a woman who said that she knows that she is supposed to be a business owner, move to a new state, marry and become a mother---all within the next 2 years. Now personally, I believe that can happen---but I wasn’t so sure she did. I asked her what kind of business she wanted to start, and she said she doesn’t know. I asked her what state she wanted to move to, and she said she didn’t know. Finally I asked her if she was in a relationship or had a love interest, and she said not really.

That type of email is not uncommon. The truth is many---many people simple have no idea what they want. They just know they want something.

So let me ask you. What do you want…really?

Are you in the relationship that you want? Are you living in the house that you want? Are you thriving in the career that you want?

If you don’t have what you want and want to change that today, here is your approach:

Decide what you want. Go back to the days when you and your young friends would talk about what you were going to be in life. Reconnect to your dreams and visions.

Look for opportunities to receive. When you make a decision and focus your efforts toward it, you will begin to see things differently. Don’t ignore what you see. Be open to new opportunities

Don’t let anyone talk you out of what you want. When you make a decision to undergo a major change in your life, your true supporters will be revealed. Don’t allow those that mean you no good talk you out of seeking what you and getting it.

Don’t settle for less than what you want. Settling is a bad habit that only leads to more settling. The moment you let go of what you want accept what you don’t want, you cut off opportunities effort your success. Simply don’t do it! You deserve to have exactly what you want.

Before you can begin to experience the life you deserve, you have to know what you want. Take the time to get to know your self more. By taking this approach, you will begin to see significant changes in your life.

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, March 8, 2012

How Do You See Your Glass?

Do you see the glass as half empty or half full?

Before you answer, let me explain the expression.

The typical purpose of the question is to demonstrate that the situation may be seen in different ways depending on one's point of view and that there may be opportunity in the situation as well as difficulty. Seeing the glass as half full denotes optimism and half empty denotes pessimism.

In my practice I like to view the expression from a completely different angle. Why? …Because I’m completely different of course.

When approaching success of any kind, what matters, most, is what you do. You can plan all you want---prepare all you want---affirm all you want--- and be as optimistic as you want--- but if you don’t do something, everyday, towards achieving your desired success, you will continue to stay right where you are.

Some people look at life just being grateful that things are not that bad. These people say things like “oh well, things could be worse.” You may have also heard these people say something like “at least I have a job” or “at least my situation isn’t that bad.” These people think they are being optimistic and they view the glass as half full. That view may be very well for someone who likes to live their life in an “oh well, at least” position. These people are content and okay with staying right where they are---because at least their life is halfway successful.

Then there are people that are not content with half of anything. These people say things like “this is good, but I can make it even better.” You may have also heard these people say something like “I need a career and not just a job” or "I need to get this situation under control before it gets any worse.” These people are also optimistic even though they see the glass as half empty. People who adopt this world view spend their lives doing more and being better---because half just isn’t good enough.

Seeing the glass half empty can work to your advantage when you have a definite goal in mind, because you productively seek opportunities to fill your glass. You use the half way point as your cue to dig deeper and push harder.

If you are stuck at the half-way point in your life, here is your approach to peaking through your plateau:

You have been half-full for way too long. Seek new opportunities to fill your life and you will fulfill your goal. Remain optimistic, but remember that what you consistently do to make things happen in your life will ultimately be the difference between a life that is half empty and half full.

Dig deeper and push harder. When you find your self at the half way mark, that means the hard work of getting started and establishing your system is over and your success id just ahead.

Don’t just be content with where you are; push through to where you want to be.

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, February 23, 2012

You Just Don't Want To...

You don’t do what you don’t want to do.

Let me explain. Every thing that you have ever said, done, and thought has been because you wanted to say it, do it, or think it.

You may be thinking:

Well that is obvious.

Unfortunately, that is not so obvious to many.

For some reason, people choose to believe someone or something else is responsible for their lives. The fact of the matter is that we are all 100% responsible for our own lives. That means every action we have ever taken has been because, ultimately, it was what we wanted to do.

You don’t do what you don’t want to do.

If you don’t want to read a book because you want to get some rest, you can’t say you want to read but you are tired. You want to sleep. You don’t want to read.

If you don’t want to get up an hour earlier in the morning to work on your business because you need your rest, you can’t say you want to start your own business but you don’t have time. You want to sleep. You don’t want to start a business.

If you want to create a change in your life, you must be honest with yourself about what you are willing to do. If you are not doing something because you are tired, stressed, scared, busy, or whatever your excuse, replace those excuses with the phrase:

I don’t want to do it.

That is the truth.

It’s totally okay to just admit to not wanting to do something. Taking 100% responsibility for your life is all about getting clear or what you want to do as well as what you don’t want to do.
Just know that if you do something, something happens and if you do nothing, nothing happens.

Here is your approach to replacing your excuses with the truth:

Replace your excuses with the truth.


To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, February 16, 2012

3 Ways to Prepare to Do Your Thing

Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
Oh, no! I’m not ready…I didn’t knock you were coming!
Opportunity isn’t always convenient. That is why we must always be prepared.

Being prepared means, figuratively, sitting by the window in the front of your house--- with your coat on and your bags packed---just waiting for opportunity to knock--- so you can open the door.

On your Mark
Get set

Being prepared means, figuratively, being at the starting line, in the runner’s stance---waiting to hear the gun shot, and being in good enough shape to not just start running ---but to be able to finish the race

Being prepared means you are willing, ready, and well able to do your thing at a moments notice. Most people think that they are prepared because they want to do something or are willing to do something.

I learned this principle from an old mentor years ago:

It’s not whosoever will, but whosoever CAN.

Here is your approach to applying that principle and being prepared to do your thing:

Get clear on what you are preparing for.
In other words, get a clear understanding of what you want to achieve, do, or complete, how to go about it, and exactly how you’re going to get it done. Many people skip the “exactly how”, which is why many people are unprepared.

Prepare to become an expert.
Knowledge alone is not power. Being able to practically implement what you know is power. Most people don’t care how you do your thing; they just want to know that you can get it done. That is why being prepared by positioning yourself as an expert is extremely important.

Be prepared to finish.
Everyone begins somewhere. But, you can’t stop where you begin. If you are a start up company or approaching a new goal, of any kind, you need to begin with the end in mind. You need to have all of your resources, products, services, execution details, and everything and anything that you may need waiting in the wings. When it’s time for you to grow or move on to the next phase in your process, you need to be prepared to proceed---not trying to figure out what’s next.

Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
...Are you Prepared?

To Blog...Nakeia

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Nothing to Loose...Everything to Gain

When you have nothing to loose, you have everything to gain. That is why many people experience their biggest breakthroughs and turn a rounds during the most difficult times in their lives. When you have nothing, your desire to acquire is fueled by your needs. If you are anything like me, when you need something, you do what is necessary to get it.

People who have nothing to loose:

Take more risks
Exhaust their resource
Roll with the punches

If you want to experience a complete turn a round in your life, you are going to have to take more risks. You are your greatest investment. And just like all other investments, you need to do the research, consider your options, and go for it. Besides, if you have nothing and you loose, all you can actually loose is NOTHING.

Your resources are your source of help, your backup, your solution, and your non-conventional commerce. Your talent and gifts will take you places your education may not. Who you know is sometimes more important that what you know. And if you really need a breakthrough in your life, you must ask, seek, and knock. People who have nothing to loose will endure the many no’s just to get to the one yes!

People who ask the question…What do I have to loose?… have probably experienced a few punches that have knocked them down. If you have been hit by life more than once, then you know what it’s like to get back up. People who have nothing to loose, take the hits and roll with the punches. In an actual fight, people who have nothing to lose are the scariest to go up against. They have a I’m going to do whatever ever I need to do to win attitude, and it may be the last round, but those kind of people usually when.

Here is Your Approach:

If you have nothing to loose, you really only have everything to gain. Consider your need---whatever it is---you are going to have to do what you need to do to get it.

Start by taking more risks. You have been held back by fear, doubt, and uncertainty. One thing that’s certain is that if you have nothing, you risk nothing, therefore you loose nothing.

Exhaust your resources. Find other people, other options, and do something different, to get what you want. If what you have been doing was going to work, it would have done so by now. Keep asking, seeking, and knocking.

Finally, toughen up and roll with the punches. If you know what it’s like to get knocked down, then you know what it’s like to get back up. Develop an I’m going to do whatever ever I need to do to win attitude and keep fighting until the last round!

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Over Night Success

Are you willing to loose sleep over it?

Your job, your career, your hobby, your purpose---are you willing to work so earnestly at mastering it, that you literally sacrifice your sleep to get things done?

Some people lie awake all night worrying about their bills, their relationships, and their level of success. Others spend their nights in motion as they plan, develop, and craft their way to their desired level of success.

Some people allow their circumstances to completely exhaust them.
Others exhaust every resource, opportunity, and connection to change their circumstances.

Achieving significant success is not always an easy task. It requires commitment, revelation, and most importantly---action.

You may need to work a 9-5 during the day; and work 6-10 on your business and an exit plan at night. If you are like me, you may need to take care of your home and children during the day and then put them to bed and work on your business through the night. You may need to work all week making connections and creating content; and then spend your weekend taking courses that will make you an expert in your field.

If you are not willing to loose sleep over it, then I am here to tell you, you don’t really want it.

If you have sacrificed your sleep to study, research, create, and build for the sake of your significant success, these words are for you:

People don’t become successful overnight, but over night many successful people become.

Here’s your approach:

If you have questions about what you really want to do with your life, create a list of the things you are doing currently and the things you are considering. Once you have created your list, put a star next to the things you would be willing to sacrifice your weekends, after-work time, and even sleep to master and then put them to the test.

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Uncommon Life

Ordinary just isn’t good enough for me. I don’t know how to be common, unremarkable, usual, or customary. That is why I have always had a hard time fitting in.

I spent the first half of my life apologizing for standing out in a crowd. I wouldn’t raise my hand in class or seminar when I knew the answer to the question being asked so people wouldn’t think---that I thought---I had all of the answers.

I would often ease into a room unassumingly as not to call attention to myself; because I was worried people would mistake my happy confidence for apparent superiority.

Now I am all grown up. Actually, let’s face it, I’m pretty old now---- and I have come to realize that confining myself to an image that will make others comfortable, not only limits me but it is a disservice to those who need me to be authentically me.

In the industries that I work in, both in entertainment and in personal development, people pay me to be uncommon, stand out in a crowd, have the answers they need, and command a room! Ironic, isn’t it?

People are attracted to authenticity. However uncommon, remarkable, and unusual you may be, if you are shown to be trustworthy and genuine, people will welcome you into their space. In a crowded room, the person who stands out will also be the person everyone wants to meet. In the marketplace the business that is remarkable and unusual will also be the business---with the most---business.

Many are in search of purpose. People are tired of life as usual. You want to live a bolder, better, UNCOMMON life!

Well, you have my permission to raise your hand, call attention to yourself, and please, by all means, be unapologetically authentic!

Here’s your approach to an unordinary---uncommon life:

Get comfortable in your own skin. Being authentically you may make a few others uncomfortable, but that is their issue and not yours. Being naturally confident is not the same as being superior in nature. When you surround yourself with the right people, those people will be confident too and welcome you into their space.

Serve others by being who you are. Never forget that someone else is depending on you to succeed. Your confidence, your talents, and your unique purpose have not been entrusted to you---just for you. Embrace the things that make you stand out from the crowd, because one day someone will want to pay you for it.

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Happy Moments

I just started a twitter and facebook fan page a couple of weeks and I am far from a savvy tweeter, but I am leaning. If you follow me on twitter @nakeiachomer or if you are a fan on facebook, then you know that at the end of each day, I ask the question:

What was your happiest moment of the day?

That question started with me about 3 years ago when I found myself complaining more than usual. I don’t think it’s healthy to complain at all, but at that particular time in my life, every time I opened my mouth it was to complain.

That complaining went from constant lip service to an actual physical feeling of constant unhappiness. Because complaining is an outward expression of unhappiness or discontent, what I was verbalizing outwardly was just a manifestation of what I was feeling internally. I found myself frowning all of the time and literally waking up and looking for something to complain about.

I remember receiving a text message from a client asking for some emotional support during a moment of struggle, and ignoring her text. In that moment I said to myself I am not the right person for her to talk to today. Really? If- I- was not- the right-person- for her- to talk to- then- who- was?

At that moment I sat down and began a list of just 5 things that I was happy about. That list of 5 turned into a list of 25 and before I went to bed that night I asked myself the question:

What was your happiest moment of the day?

I have asked myself and my family that question every night since then. In order to come up with an answer every night, I had to search for happy moments sometimes. If I smiled or laughed, if I felt content or satisfied, I would wonder if one of those times would be my moment of complete happiness for the day. Because I wouldn’t allow myself to go to bed without defining a happy moment, I would create one by thinking of a joke so I could laugh out loud or I would go and have a conversation with my 6 year old because she always makes me happy.

All of the wasted energy I used to complain, I now use to find reasons to be happy. In the midst of a bad day, I make a choice to be happy.

Here’s your approach:

If you find yourself complaining about the things you are unhappy about, challenge yourself to find just one thing that made you feel happy that day. Make a commitment to yourself not to go to bed without defining a happy moment. It will be hard to find things to complain about when you are looking for reasons to be happy.

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, January 12, 2012

What Were You Thinking?

Without a doubt, most of you were excited about the New Year. You were pumped! You were motivated! You were driven---and on the 12th day of the New Year---you have already lost some steam.

Now I don’t blame you completely. You have a lot going on. Your bank account has lost more weight than you resolved to. Your biggest supporters are busy supporting themselves. You are doing so much right now, you can hardly keep up---and you feel like if you can just have a moment to catch your breath, you just may be able to catch up.

I have one question for you---WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!

Actually I know what you were thinking. You were thinking that this year would be your year. You thought you could take it all on at once---and you really thought this time would be the time that you finally did it. BUT---you’re doing too much! Stop trying to do it all and start doing what makes sense.

You are only 12 days in, and this time will be the time you do it…

…if---you Simply Do What Makes Sense™

If what you are doing to achieve your goal is tiring you out, getting you out of focus, and causing you to second guess yourself, it doesn’t make sense. AND---if it doesn’t make sense, don’t do it.

I want that to be your theme for the year.

Here’s your approach:

Take out your list of resolutions. Now tear it up and throw it away. You don’t need it.

If writing a list of things could make you successful, you would have accomplished your goals the day you wrote them down.

Now close your eyes and get a clear picture of how you want your year to be. Once you see the vision, write it down in vivid detail. Who are you? How do you look? What are you doing? How do you feel?

On another sheet of paper, write down your reality in those areas. Who are you now? What do you look like now? What are you doing now? How do you feel now?

Your next move is simple.

Eliminate one thing every week from your reality, that is not apart of the clear vision you have for your future. If what you are doing, saying, feeling, and living don’t fit the vision; eliminate it---one action, one word, one thought at a time.

Make this year your year by simply doing what makes since!

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Not Another New Year Themed Blog

At the top of everyone’s agenda you will find a resolution. I really didn’t want t bore you with another New Year themed blog (and I promise I wont)---BUT---when I walked through the aisles of Wal-Mart seeing nothing but exercise equipment and diet pills---when I turned on the television and saw Jenny Craig, Weight Watcher’s, and The Biggest Loser commercials---I just could help myself.

Now I have no intention of sharing with you my struggles with weight because, quite honestly, that is none of your business. I will however share another something personal.

I wore braces for five years. No, my teeth weren’t that hideous. My grand-mom just couldn’t afford the monthly payment plan we were on, so I was forced to wear braces until my aunt stepped in and began to make the payments for me. Don’t feel sorry for me; I got over it--- and let’s just say my teeth are extra straight.

If you know anything about the process of straightening your teeth with the use of sharp metal wires--- that are woven through metal brackets---that are cemented to your teeth--- and tightened once a month--- to the point of uncomfortable pain--- bare with me as I explain it to those who do not.

Technically, the application of brackets or braces moves the teeth as a result of force and pressure on the teeth. This process loosens the tooth and then new bone grows in to support the tooth in its new position which is technically called bone remodeling. Braces have constant pressure, which over time, move teeth into their proper positions. This movement needs to be done slowly otherwise the patient risks losing his or her teeth. This is why braces are commonly worn for approximately two and a half years and adjustments are only made every three or four weeks.

My process was delayed often over the course of five years because when we did not have the monthly payment, we were not able to get the wires adjusted. At the time, I didn’t mind because I didn’t want to endure the uncomfortable process of getting my teeth straightened. I knew I couldn’t keep the braces on forever, but if I could just get by for just a little while longer, I would be ready the next time. Well next time turned into five years!

Now I am sure that by now you are wondering how my five years of being known as a brace face will connect to resolutions. Well, I have a gift and I am not so modest about it. I have been gifted with the ability to take common issues of everyday life and create a lesson out of it. Also, as promised that I wouldn’t bore you with another New Year themed blog (and I hope you are not bored.)

So here is the lesson:

Every time you put off doing what you need to do to straighten out your life because of lack of money, discomfort, lack of discipline, or whatever your excuses have been, you delay the process and prolong the amount of time you will lack money, feel discomfort, live an undisciplined life, and whatever else you have been experiencing.

Get the connection?

In this New Year, resolve to simply get it done. Whatever it is for you---get it done! Prevent the delays and prolonged discontent. Don’t live your life just getting by until next year. Or---your next year could turn into five years from now---or even worse--- Never.

Since this was a lesson, here is your assignment:

Write down at least one thing that you have been delaying year after year. Now simply get it done! You know what you need to do, so do it. Look past your finances, your discomfort, and all of your other excuses and make this year the year you get it done.

To Blog…Nakeia