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Thursday, December 30, 2010

48 Hours


Since this will be my last post of 2010, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to know what this blog will be about.


That's right! You've got it! Leaving 2010 with No Regrets!!

There is less than 48 hours left in 2010. This may have been your best year! This may have been your worst year. Everything may have gone as planned. Everything may have gone all wrong. Either way, if you are reading this blog, you have been given a gift. You have been given another day. Your biggest present of the season is the present. Now what will you do with it?

In 48 hours you can:

...Start and finish reading a book.

...Write a business plan.

...Create a blog of your own.

...End a bad relationship.

...Call an old friend.

...Mend a broken relationship.

...Volunteer at a shelter.

...Buy a meal for a homeless person.

...Complete an unfinished project.

...Do more.

It's not too late to leave this year with No Regrets. Do what you need to do, within the next 48 hours, so that you can live the way you want to live in 2011.


To Blog...Nakeia

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Season of Giving

Achieving success always comes down to: giving up. You don’t GET rich. You GIVE UP what’s making you broke. You don’t GET skinny, you GIVE UP what’s making you fat. You don’t GET happy, you GIVE UP what’s making you unhappy. ~Larry Winget


The idea of "giving up" is not always easy to accept. For instance, giving up the ice-cold, tingly, crisp, bubbly, goodness of a Pepsi is not necessarily a good idea to me. Yes, it makes me bloated. Yes, it's not good for my teeth. Yes, I may be digesting empty calories. But...Pepsi and I have a complicated relationship and I am not ready to call it quits.

…Enough about me.

As you prepare to move forward to 2011, with No Regrets, you must take a hard look at what you need to give up. Since this is the season of giving, I thought now would be the perfect time for you to make this commitment. Give yourself the gift of getting. Get the life you want, by giving up the things that are trying to keep you from it.

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Alarms, Delays, and You

Today started out like any other.

I expected the alarm clock to wake me up at 6:15 am- and it did.

I expected an automatic groan---from me---in response to the alarm clock waking me up at 6:15am- and I did.

I expected my husband to be the first one out of the bed- and he was.

I did not expect my husband to return to bed because my daughter’s school decided to delay its opening, by 2 hours, due to the weather- but he did.

I turned over and tried to go back to sleep. But I couldn’t. All I could think about is the delay. You see I had big plans for the day. First, I would get the little one off to school. Second, I would blog. Third, I would finish writing the song I started yesterday. Fourth, I would read and return emails. Fifth, I would record a reference of the song I wrote. Sixth, I would prepare for the little one’s return from school. And now, because of the 2 hour delay, more than likely I would not get through the day as planned. But the day will still go on…and what doesn’t get done now, will get done later.

Reason for the story:

To remind you that when unexpected delays happen, your life will still go on. You can choose to get caught up in the delay, or you can move forward with your plans---understanding that a delay is temporary and whatever you have been unable to complete now, you have the ability to revisit and complete later. Just keep moving forward!


To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Can You Handle More?

Life has a way of giving us just what we can handle. Of course if you are anything like, you can always use a bit more. But really, if you woke up tomorrow morning and everything you wanted was sitting in your living room (of course…that is if it’s not too big to fit in our living room), could you even handle it?

Better yet, could you support it?

You want a bigger house. But do you support the house or apartment you are living in now? Is it clean? Is everything in it, in working order? Are you ever there?

You want a new car. But do you support the car you have now? Is it well maintained? When is the last time you’ve washed it? Is it paid off?

Remember this. What you have now is the foundation upon which whatever you will have, in your future, must stand. If you want more, you must be able to support more. Also remember this. If you are not a good steward over what you have now, you can not be trusted with more.

Here is what you can do to make sure that you can support more:

Write a list of everything that you have but want more of, or better/bigger than.

Now complete a Support Check. Assess the condition of everything that you have. Is everything in working order? Have you put what you have now to good use? Is what you have now a strong enough foundation for more?

Of course if you have a good assessment, then more is on the way! If not, join me in making sure that you have a stable foundation. Spend the last 22 days of 2010 getting a good handle on what you already have.


To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, December 2, 2010

'Tis the Season

I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR.



I ABSOLUTELY love Christmas music.
I love it when Starbucks unveils its holiday flavors.
I love sneaking behind my daughter’s back to purchase and hide presents.
I love pulling out what seems like 100 boxes of handmade (by yours truly) Christmas wreaths, ornaments, and shimmery knickknacks I’ve created courtesy of Michael’s.
I love watching Merry Christmas Charlie Brown.
I love entering a New Year.
I love the excitement of setting new personal and professional goals.


Today is December 2, 2010. There are 29 days left in 2010.

What I LOVE about life is that everyday that we awake from dreaming, is a day full of opportunities to dream awake…

It is not too late to cross at least 1 more thing of your list of things to do before this year is over!


To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, November 18, 2010

On Her Own...

I am proud to say…Stacy is on her own! Well, sort of…

I made a commitment to facilitate her personal development throughout the Leave 2010 with No Regrets Challenge, and she made a commitment to put in the work. She has been working, writing, thinking, and making things happen in her life! She will Leave 2010 with No Regrets for sure!

Stacy is now my maintenance program. Stacy’s goal is to start 2011 in full pursuit of her purpose and engaged in whole life development. In other words, she wanted to spend 2011 living focused, motivated, and with intention.

As part of the maintenance program, Stacy is required to complete a Weekly Mission Assessment. The assessment is simple. She sits down for 20 minutes, at the end of each week and does 3 things:

Read last week’s assessment. This is an opportunity to internalize achievements and celebrate small victories.

Make room for growth. List one thing that can be improved or taken to the next level.Create a

Must Do List for the next week. List at least 3 things that must be done by the end of the week.

Stacy emails me her assessments to me for accountability, but essentially she is doing her thing!

There is still 43 days left in 2010. You have time to leave 2010 with No Regrets! For those of you who have taken on a challenge of your own, you can perform your own Weekly Mission Assessments.

To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I Am Not A Slacker!

It is 8:00pm , and I have just put the little one to bed.

As I sit in front of my computer and check my daily calender, I realize that I still have 5 things to do before I can bring an end to my work day. I also realize that I have not blogged in a week or so...and this is becoming a pattern.

I immediately say to myself, I am a slacker! Then I go to the Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary to look up the meaning of the word slacker...cause you know me...I must know what I mean, when I say what I think I mean (too much?)

Slacker: a person who shirks work or obligation.

NOT ME.

In fact, not only am I NOT shirking (evading, avoiding),my work, I am doing WAy too much! I am working, thinking, developing, writing, and researching way too much. AND...I love it! I love what I do. The more I love it, the more I want to do it. I am taking on new personal projects, writing new songs, negotiating new deals for my husband, finalizing the plans for my new website, and whatever else I can squeeze into the day.

I have made apologies on this blog, by email, and instant message for not blogging lately. My wonderful followers (those I knew about and those I didn't know about until they sent me an email asking me about missing some days of blogging) have made me come to a temporary decision.

For now, I will be blogging once a week (unless I really have something to get off my mind).
Thursday will be the day.

So look for my blogs on Thursday; starting next week!

Before I go, consider this quote by James Allen:

See to it that you rise by steady climbing, and you will never fall.

To Blog...Nakeia

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Decision Remorse

I do something at least once a day that I wish I can take back or just do over. When I wake up too late, I wish I could start the day over. When I send out an email, I wish I would have said one more or one less thing. When I order the chicken, I wish I would have ordered the steak.

I wish. I wish. I WISH!

Life is full of opportunities to do things over. If I don’t like the email that was sent, I can always send a subsequent clarification email. If I don’t like the chicken, I can pout until my husband agrees to share his steak with me (‘cause his food is always better than mine). I may not like the way I started my day, but I can always end strong. Some things are not ideal, but that is the reality of REALity.

On the other hand, there are those life choices that we just have to live with. There are words spoken that can never be un-spoken. There is time that passes, that can never be rewound. Most of the things we do can not be undone. Some things are not ideal, but that is the reality of REALity.

You can drastically reduce the number of choices that you make and end up regretting by implementing some decision making guidelines. The guidelines should be made custom to your lifestyle and thought process. No one person processes things alike. I, for one, am a quick thinker. The longer I wait to make a decision, the harder it is for me to make it. Others like to take their time.

Here are 2 general guidelines that everyone can follow:

Create your own personal decision making guidelines.

Guideline example: I will wait 24 hours before making a decision.

Only make intentional decisions. There should be a purpose attached to every decision you make. If you want to avoid decision remorse, put some thought into it. To make sure you are making an intentional decision, complete the following statement:

Making a decision to _________ will __________________________________in my life.

Those 2 guidelines are simple and effective. You can use them as a foundation for setting guidelines of your own.

To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Just Get There

The road one takes to through life is not always a smooth ride. I am still not sure why that doesn’t go with out saying. If you have gotten into a car, and taken a ride to anywhere land, you should know exactly what I mean. You may travel the same route to work everyday, but on any given day, a bump, some litter, an animal, or a detour may surface…without warning. So what do you do? Do you stop, turn around, drive home, and get back into bed? Or do you go around it, through it, over it, or find another way to get you to where you need to be?

You may be thinking… how can you compare a daily commute to work, to a commute through this thing called life. Well, I will tell you how. Simply put it into perspective. Both are about getting from where you are, to where you need to be. How smooth the may or may not be along the way really doesn’t matter.

Just get there.

To Blog…Nakeia

Monday, November 1, 2010

Planning Made Easy

The more I try to convince people to create an action plan, the more I realize how intimidating creating an action plan can be for some. No matter how easy I say it is…there is always someone that just can’t get past the fear of committing their dreams to paper and following up with some action.

As with life, planning can be as simple or as complicated as one makes it. I, for one, spend most of my time making my life as simple as possible. So when it comes to planning, I have four simple guidelines that I follow.

Define the goal.
In statement form, I write down what I intend to accomplish.

Research the area of interest.
I begin a regime of organized study. I find out exactly what it will take for me to accomplish my goal.

Prepare to take action.
Once I know what I want to do and what it will take to do it, I prepare an action schedule. That schedule simply details what I will do, each day, to move closer to accomplishing my goal.

Begin with the end in mind.
With tunnel vision, I direct my attention and intention towards what I want to accomplish.
Mentally seeing myself accomplishing my goals motivates me to push forward toward an expected end.

Those guidelines are simple, yet effective! I use them to create an action plan for my personal and professional life and it works every time. If you have had difficulty creating your action plan, give these guidelines a try.

To Blog…Nakeia

Friday, October 29, 2010

Write It Down!


As you join me in committing to Leave 2010 With No Regrets, here is a quick tip to assist you in your efforts.

WRITE IT DOWN!

If you have been following my blogs at all, you know this is a BIG deal for me. But…trust me, it works! Committing your thoughts, personal goals, grocery lists, and business ideas to paper, will change your life!

Here are three proven benefits to writing things down:

It focuses your attention.
Your entire body must be present in order to take the time to sit and write something down. You will also need your entire body to be present to turn the words you commit to paper into action. Those moments of focus can also be used to meditate. Once you have written your thoughts down, you can read over it every morning to help focus your daily efforts.

It acts as a memory booster.
Studies show that if you write something down, you are more likely to remember it. Remembering the reason you want to change will keep you on track. Reading what you have written down will also take you back to how you felt when you were writing it. That feeling of determination and drive will motivate you to continue moving forward.

It creates a permanent record.
I started the Leave 2010 With No Regrets Challenge because I got tired of seeing the same things on my New Years Resolution list. I had created many permanent records of the things I wanted to change, achieve, and conquer, but never did. Now I write things down to create a permanent record of the things I need to change, achieve, and conquer, and I do just that!

I just gave you 3 good reasons why you should spend this weekend writing down your plan to Leave 2010 With No Regrets. It is not enough to think about it. You must create a written plan that is followed by ACTION. There are 63 days left in 2010! It is not too late for you to join the challenge. You don’t have to carry your past into your future! If you start today, you can start the New Year with a NEW YOU!

To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Challenge Update!!!

I recently shared an important session with Stacy, my pick for the Leave 2010 With No Regrets Challenge. She is well on her way to closing out this year completely content with the direction of her life. Stacy has been diligent in her efforts to maintain her focus, keep the insignificant opinions of other at bay, and move forward with her professional goals. I am extremely hopeful that her life will remain on track. Unfortunately, some unpleasant circumstances from Stacy's past have resurfaced, and she was thrown off track for a moment.

The difficulty that Stacy was trying to work through was, quite honestly, self-inflected. She is comfortable admitting that before committing to her personal development goals, she would make major life decisions on a whim. She wouldn’t give much thought to the consequences of her decisions and when things didn’t work out, for some reason, she would be surprised…really.

I kept asking Stacy this question, what have you learned? Even after the work we have done together she still had a hard time coming up with an answer that I would accept. At first she blamed others and then she blamed herself. But I helped her realize that there is no lesson in the game of blame. Eventually, her lesson was learned and she made it through the difficult moments, confident that she can face whatever’s next.

Here is what I learned about the, what have you learned, question:

In order to answer the question, you must get past the surface. It’s not just about the present circumstance. You must look at what led up to it. If you have made one bad major decision, more than likely, there have been others.

In order to answer the question, you must locate the start of the pattern. There is a spark that
ignites every fire. You must find out why you make the decisions you make.

In order to answer the question, you must be willing to admit to wrong doing. Being wrong isn’t easy. That is especially true when being wrong causes pain. Admitting what is wrong about you will lead you on the path that is right.

Those are just a few reasons why it is important to recognize the opportunity that learning life lessons can bring. Every time you are face to face with difficulty, you are also standing face to face to face with opportunity. You are giving the opportunity to move forward with the tools needed to do better next time.


To Blog…Nakeia

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I Need A Therapist!

I am guilty...I have done it again...I have not been practising what I preach...I NEED A THERAPIST! Seriously.

I am on autopilot. I took on too many projects. I took on clients that require more attention than I am able to give (without taking away from some other areas of my life). I got behind on my housework. I got behind on my reading. I got behind in my writing. I got sick, and then I got my family sick.

Now I am playing catchup and interviewing therapist...cause I REALLY think I need one!

I have received your messages and I have not forgotten about you. I am just taking some time to get myself together!

Here is what I have done, so far, to get myself back on track:

Created a list of things that require my immediate attention. This list is very detailed and focuses on the things that I NEED to do right now. (i.e. unanswered emails from potential clients)

Limited my phone and computer use. For me, the phone and computer can be horrible distractions. I have set aside time at the beginning and end f my work day for returning phone calls and use of the Internet that does not involve current or potential clients.

Delegated duties that did not require my direct involvement. This one is hard for me, yet it is the most useful. Taking help where I can get it has increased my daily productivity. The more efficient hands involved, the more efficient the results.

If you are as guilty as I am and need to get yourself together as well, join me by implementing those three effective strategies and back on track.

To Blog...Nakeia

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The 14 Billion Dollar Question


What is my purpose?

That question is worth 14 billion dollar a year--- 14 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR! It has been reported that the self-improvement/self-help industry makes any where from 9 to 14 billion dollars a year. By self- improvement I mean diet, money, purpose, and relationship books, seminars, DVD’s, CD’s, and coaches. People spend their hard earned money trying to find the answer to a question that I will answer for you for FREE today.

So here it is:

Your purpose is the use your special talents, natural abilities, and God-given gifts, to enhance your personal and professional life, as well as the lives of every single person you come in contact with. In order to fulfill that purpose, you must spend time developing those talents, abilities, and gifts daily; so that you can exercise them effectively.

That is it. That is the reason you exist. That is your purpose.

If you still have questions concerning your purpose, you can write me a check for 14 Billion Dollars and I will spend a whole year reminding you of that every day!

To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Dream Awake!

My daughter and I had an interesting conversation about dreams. She doesn’t have nightmares often, but there was one nightmare in particular that really has her spooked. All I will say about it is that it involves seafood and seems like more of a comedy scene in a cartoon than a nightmare. Nevertheless, she doesn’t want it to reoccur…and…she doesn’t want to eat salmon any time soon.

I shared with her my secret power to control my dreams. I am sure that I have shared this with you before, but I developed a way to control my dreams when I was a kid. There may not be any science to back me up, but whatever I direct my thoughts toward right before falling asleep is what I end up dreaming about. It has worked for me for years and it worked for my daughter last night.

The interesting thing about dreams is that they can occur while asleep or awake. A dream can be a fantasy or a terror. Either way I believe we all possess the power to control them…especially the dreams we dream while awake. Based on my own personal experience, this is truth and I don’t need a scientist to confirm it.

Today, focus on the dreams that you dream awake. Direct your thoughts toward a series of images, emotions, and goals that can go from fantasy to reality. Your personal and professional possibilities are only limited by your thoughts toward them. Once you understand the control you have to direct and focus your thoughts, you will unlock a whole new world of possibilities.

It seems the dreams of owning a house with a white picket fence or breaking a new world record has been replaced with the temporary reality of current circumstances. Whatever circumstances you are facing right now are temporary. Your life could change in an instant. One pone call or email could change your life. Dreams are not just for children. You must nurture your childhood dreams of becoming the best at everything you do.

Don’t take my word or the word of my five year old daughter. See for yourself. Dare to access your secret power to control the dreams you dream awake. Replace your terrible thoughts of anxiety with thoughts of fearless goals and you will begin to create a nightmare free life.

Dare to dream awake!


To blog…Nakeia

Monday, September 27, 2010

Challenge Update (Re-Focus Your Focus)


What area of your life gets the most attention?

Throughout the course of the day, where is your focus?

The thing that you concentrate your effort, attention, or emphasis on the most, is the thing that will be clearly developed in your life.

Stacy, my pick for the Leave 2010 With No Regrets Challenge, has decided that not being able to focus on her own personal and professional development has been her biggest regret. So, her goal for the next 95 days is to Re-focus her Focus. Stacy is going to re-adjust her vision in order to see her life’s purpose clearly. Over the past couple of weeks, she has discovered that her need to please others, her over extended daily routine, and her lack of clarity concerning her professional career has clouded her vision. Believe it or not, she has come to this discovery by doing less. Instead of being busy, she has learned to be productive. Instead of just listening to the advice of family and friends, she is listening to herself. Instead of focusing her effort, attention, and emphasis on the things that are going wrong in her life, she has re-focused her attention on the things that she wants to go right.

It is easy to get out of focus. Daily routines, family commitments, and unpleasant circumstances get in the way. But remember, the thing that you focus or concentrate on the most, is the thing that will be clearly developed in your life. For example, if you focus your attention on your lack of fluid income, you can not focus on ways to create a positive flow of income. Your focus or area of concern must be on the thing that you want to happen in your life.

Here is an exercise I gave to Stacy:

Write a list of things that typical go wrong throughout the course of one day. Create a list that spans an entire day from morning until evening (i.e. wake up late, traffic, can’t find parking, etc). Once you have completed your list, start the next day by focusing on the opposite of everything on your list. You can do this by creating a list that opposes the original list (i.e. wake up on schedule, no traffic, find parking, etc).

That is not an exercise in attitude, but in focus. If your attention is directed toward waking up on schedule so that you can avoid heavy traffic and find reasonable parking that is exactly what will develop into a regular routine.

Create a list of your own so that you can Re-focus your focus.

To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

In With The New!

Waiting is a trap.
There will always be reasons to wait.
The truth is there are only two things in life...

Reasons and Results...

...and reasons simply don't count.

~ Dr. Robert Anthony

The good doctor is right. There will always be reason to wait. Unfortunately, waiting will result in no RESULTS.

There is 101 days left in 2010. I want you to resolve to start the New Year with a New You. But here is thing, start your new year today. Don't fall into the trap of waiting.

Leave 2010 with NO REGRETS!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Waiting With A Purpose

As I prepared for this blog, the subject felt all too familiar. The words I began to type seemed to be a replay of something that I have either written or spoke about before. So I looked through my little notebooks, speech history, and blogs and sure enough---there it was---a blog I titled Tired of Waiting (revisit that one later).

Well, here’s a little more on the subject of waiting:

To wait is to remain stationary in readiness or expectation; to delay in hope of a favorable change; or to hold back expectantly (Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary). During further research of the subject of waiting, I also realized that there are two types of waiting.

English 101:

Waiting is a verb that can be transitive or intransitive. A transitive verb is a verb with a direct object (purpose, aim, or goal). An intransitive verb is a verb with no direct object (purpose, aim, or goal). So, to wait transitively is to wait with a purpose…to stay in place because something is expected to happen. To wait intransitively is to wait with no clear purpose in mind…to do nothing expecting for something to happen. I know this may sound like a lecture, but I need to you to understand the difference.

Examples:
I am waiting for my business to grow because I have spent time in marketing development and have prepared a campaign designed specifically to attract new clients.
Vs.
I am waiting on my business to grow because it has been my life-long dream to own a business; and it has to work out for me.

Or…

I am waiting for the right time to start my business.
Vs.
I am waiting until I have a clear vision that I can translate into a business plan before I launch my new business.

Ralph Waldo Emerson asked the question---how much of human life is lost in waiting.

If you are in waiting…waiting to begin something new or complete something old…ask yourself this question:

Am I waiting with a purpose?

To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Unspoken Language

I talk a lot...no...a WHOLE lot.

But I know this to be true:

What I do, in life, is far more important than what I say.

Actions are an unspoken language that can not be misunderstood.

Today, don't say it---Do IT!


To Blog...Nakeia

Monday, September 13, 2010

Just a Reminder...

I received such an unexpected response from Friday's re-post. Some of my faithful followers sent me emails, text messages, and instant messages just to say thanks for the reminder. But what always catches me off guard, are the followers that I am unaware of ---the people that view the link from Facebook or people that are third party followers...

At the suggestion of one of my mentees, I took the time to read over some of my old posts. She was right...I am good! There were some strategies, quick tips, and my own personal experiences that helped me put some things back into perspective. She also right about the fact that give A LOT of my services away for free! Soon, I am going to have to start charging you Internet!!

Here is another good one:

Show Up...

During my last year of high school I experienced the worst migraine headaches ever. I mean the kind of headaches that would make my vision blurred, my speech slurred, and leave me completely incapacitated. I saw doctors and specialists. I tried medication and meditation. Nothing worked. It was so bad that I missed over 20 days of school and was told that I may not be able to graduate. I kept up with my assignments but the school’s policy stated that students were not permitted to be absent from school more than a certain number of days. In order to graduate, I had to turn in a note of explanation from my doctors which stated my medical condition and detailed how it could leave me unable to attend class. That letter of excuse saved me the trouble of repeating 12th grade.

An excuse is, among other things, an apology, justification, or note of explanation for an absence. It is acceptable to offer an excuse for being absent from class due to sickness. It is not acceptable to offer an excuse for being absent from the possibility of success. When you decide to make excuses, you are deciding not to show up to open the door when opportunity knocks. This is another area of my life that was difficult for me to shake. I was often guilty of making excuses. I gave what I thought were pretty compelling reasons why I didn't complete something I started or for something that I simply never started at all. When I realized what it really meant to make excuses, I made a pledge to myself never to do it again.

Join me and make a pledge to yourself ,today, never to excuse yourself from life again. Make a decision to be present. To be present is to exist. No more excuses. Show up! Your note of explanations will no longer be accepted.


If you are unsure of your purpose, confused about your next move, or are in an uncomfortable period of preparation, I suggest you join me in reading through my archives. In the words of my mentee, I am good at what I do. But even I need a reminder that will help put things into perspective from time to time...


To Blog...Nakeia

Friday, September 10, 2010

Keeping It Real

I have been working with a few people on the importance of preparation---one of those people being me.

I have been feeling extremely anxious lately. I have so many dreams--- so many ideas--- so many goals. And I want to fulfill every single one of them---right now! I say that timing is key and preparation is necessary. But I am going to keep it real and also say, "I am TIRED of waiting!"

To rid myself of this anxiety, I read through an old post of mine and I decided to repost it.

Here it is:

When Opportunity Knocks...

There is a story about a wealthy man who was dying from an incurable disease. He built his wealth from hard work and savvy business deals. He was an intelligent man that came from nothing, and created everything he needed to live the life he was destined to live. When asked about his secret to his success, he always answered “I was prepared to open the door when opportunity knocked.”

He was married to his childhood sweetheart for over fifty-three years when she died suddenly in her sleep. She was never able to bare children so there was no heir to his estate. When the wealthy man learned of his illness, he began his search to find someone to leave his riches with. To qualify, there were only three conditions; this person had to have come from his hometown, be of meager beginnings and be prepared to start working towards the fulfillment of their destiny immediately. This was an opportunity of a lifetime for a small town person with big plans and little means.

Unfortunately, the wealthy man died; leaving his estate to charity. You see, he interviewed a lot of people who were not prepared to act on what they said they were destined to do. I refer to the wealthy man’s story often. I encounter many hard working people with dreams of fulfilling their ultimate goals. Unfortunately, if opportunity ever knocked on their door, they would not be prepared to open it. Your thinking, how is it possible to be hard working, have goals, and not be considered prepared?

Humor me for a moment and answer your own question by doing this:

Think of the thing you believe you are destined to do. Is it to become a best-selling author? Is it to become CEO of a company? Now imagine receiving a call from a publishing house or board of directors informing you that today is the day that you can do what you’ve always wanted to do. You are a hard worker. You have goals. Now…are you prepared? Have you prepared your manuscript? Do you know everything you need to know to run a company? If your answer is yes, great! You are well on your way. If you answered no, start preparing today. It is important to be prepared for the “what” while you are waiting on the “when.” In other words, you may not know when your boss will offer you the promotion…but when he does, you better know how to do the job!

Preparation+ Opportunity=Success ~Sydney Poitier

After reading my own words, I decided to apply them to my own life. I went over my plans and assessed the work that I have done over the past 2 months and here is what I have learned:

I have yet to complete the final edit of the book I am so anxious to release.
I have not decided on a layout for my website I am so anxious to launch.
I have not finalized my new price points...

...I am not prepared



To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Challenge Update!

I have been working with Stacy for just about two weeks now and she has come a long way in such a short period of time! The only thing I assigned her to do was to sit and listen to her self twice a day. Just doing that opened Stacy’s eyes to the fact that, she has been heavily influenced by outsiders.

Stacy's words:
I almost didn’t recognize my own inner voice. I have been worried about--- and listening to what other people say for too long. I haven’t been living my life. I have been living the life everyone else wanted for me.

Can you relate? Has the voice of outsiders been drowning out your own voice?

Beware of outsiders!
An outsider, within this context, is someone who is not directly attached to your purpose, plan, and intentions for your life; someone whose power and influence will not add value to your life; and someone whose life does not exemplify success, contentment, and wholeness. No ones voice should be more influential to yours. You will not succeed at living a life that is designed by someone else.

Here are a few questions that will indicate whether or not you are too heavily influenced by outsiders:

When you get an idea, do you call someone to validate it?
When making a decision, do you worry about what someone else will think?
When you have decided on an action, can someone easily talk you out of doing it?
How much of what you have done this week, was your idea?
Are you living the life you chose?

Moving forward, to ensure that you are hearing your own voice and living the life you desire, ask this question before making your next move:

Am I doing this because I want to or because an outsider wants me to?


To Blog…Nakeia

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Element of Surprise

Getting my daughter to keep a secret is the hardest thing to do. It’s as if she is going to explode with information at any minute. In our house, special occasions are especially difficult for her. She wants the honoree to be surprised, but she also wants to shout from the mountain top what gift, card, or special project she has in store. I try to explain to her that being able to keep a secret or hide a gift is just as exciting as sharing the moment of surprise; but for her, it’s just all too overwhelming…

On the other hand I sort of know how my daughter feels. Whenever I am writing a new song or working on a new project, I have a difficult time keeping it to myself. I may get so excited about the premise of a song that I have to call and share it with my sister. I may get overwhelmed by the promise of a new business prospect that I have to email my BFF. But---there is nothing worse than to have that overwhelming feeling of excitement, ruined by the lack of enthusiasm from someone else.

Your talents, skills, and countless abilities are your gifts to the world. Using those things to the best of your ability is how you will leave your mark. As excited as you may be to share them, releasing those gifts before they are fully developed may ruin their effect. It is true that you only get one chance to make a first impression. Taking the time to master your craft and detail your vision before you introduce it to the world will ensure that you leave a lasting impression.

…Speaking of vision. Your vision for your life is your vivid mental image. That means it is impossible for someone else to see your life exactly the way you see it. Your vision for your business, marriage, children, and personal image is unique to only you. It is possible for you to share your vision in such a detailed way that someone else may be able to imagine it; but even then, that person’s perceptual experience will be quite different than yours. You don’t want that difference to ruin your excitement for your vision. So take care in who you share it with.

Some things may be for your eyes only--- at least until the opportunity to share them is met with your preparation. Don’t ruin the element of surprise or enthusiasm for your gift to the world by presenting it prematurely. Spend time in preparation. Use time to your advantage.

Here are two quick tips for today:

Do not share an idea before it is fully developed. An idea is better served as a plan. Do your research and become as knowledge on the subject of your idea/plan as possible. You want to be prepared for questions and possible opportunities.

Develop Bullet Points. I am sure that there is an idea that you are extremely excited about at this very moment. After reading this blog you realize that you have been sharing your idea prematurely. If you are like my daughter and just can’t keep a secret, develop three Bullet Points that you can intelligently share. Those points can be as simple as the name of your idea, how you conceived it, and who can benefit from it.

To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Habit Hoarders


I tune in to many shows on A&E during the week, but Hoarders is not one of them. I just can not get into the whole being dirty and stinky---on purpose and then crying about thing. However for the past few weeks, they have been advertising the new season's premiere, as being the worst ever! Someone even threatened to call the health department! However luring the clip of the season premiere may seem, I still think filthy grownups is just too much for me.

(Disclaimer: As a former mental health professional, I am sensitive to the clinical aspects of hoarding. It is dirty and stinky nonetheless.)

So as I was viewing the clip of the season premiere of Hoarders, for the 100th time, I started thinking about Habit Hoarders. A Habit Hoarder is someone that stores a substantial supply of habits. The habits are most often negative and the hoarder usually admits that the habit should be replaced, however they hang on to them. Just like those who hoard food, clothes, or newspapers, people who hoard habits hang on to them for comfort. Things that are familiar bring a sense of comfort. To break a bad habit, you must delve into the unfamiliar. You must let go of your supply of bad habits and replace them with good ones.

If you store bad habits, you are a Habit Hoarder. If you have been saying that you were going to stop doing something and have yet to stop it, you are a Habit Hoarder. If you hang on to old habits in the unlikely case that they may be of good use to you one day, you are a Habit Hoarder. But---that can change, if you change it!

Here are a few strategies that will help you get rid of those bad habits once an for all:

The Switch. The most fool proof way to get rid of a bad habit is to switch or replace it with a new one. That sounds simple because it is. If you want to stop the bad habit of smoking a cigarette to relieve stress, switch to listening to music instead.

Reward or Punishment. Everyone likes to be rewarded for good behavior and no one likes to be punished for bad. To break your bad habit use a reward or punishment system. Set up a system that gives you rewards of substance. Stay away from rewarding yourself would food or clothing because that may lead to the introduction of new bad habits. If the reward system isn't a big enough incentive, include a system of punishment. For example, if you make the decision to re-engage in a bad habit one day, you can punish yourself by abstaining from your favorite television show that night.

All or Nothing Emphasis. You either want to break your bad habit or you don't. There is no such thing as eating a little too much. If you want to break the bad habit of overeating, you can't decide to eat a restrictive diet all week and then eat whatever you want on the weekend. That type of strategy will not get you results. Instead of having a bad habit of over-eating all week, you will have a bad habit of overeating on the weekends. To break a bad habit, you must go all the way!
Those are three simple strategies that will get you results!


To Blog...Nakeia

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Parent Trap

Lindsay Lohan is at the top of the news once again. I will save my opinion on her situation for private banter. However, I can't help but be intrigued by the talk surrounding her parents. You will not hear talk of Lindsay without hearing about her mess of a father and mother. If you know anything about my life, you will agree that I can relate, on many levels, to some of Lindsay's back story---or at least the story the media has shared with world.

Parenting it the most underrated job ever. Some people just have kids to satisfy their own personal desire to be loved, to dictate, and to fulfill their American dream of the All American Family.

A husband/wife and a couple of kids in a photo every Christmas does not a happy family make...

I was speaking with a friend today, and it amazed me to hear how much of our parents ideals were coming out of our mouths. From the type of family we wanted to have...to the type of careers we wanted to have, it was obvious that the lives our parents led and the values, or lack there of, that they held dear directly affected us.

The fact that my friend's parents did not fully develop in the areas of education and professional achievement, prompted my friend to lack in development in those same areas. She says things like I am not good at that, or I am not good enough, smart enough, or ambitious enough do do that.

The fact that my family were blue collar workers, who believed in working hard no matter what, prevented me from starting my own business for years. Not only did I have a hard time imagining myself as a business owner, but I was afraid of what they thought about me not punching a clock everyday. I would say things like--- I want to start my own business, but I have to work. What in the world does that even mean?

Listen to yourself speak. Listen to the things that you tell your children. Now ask yourself if that is you or your parents speaking. Your parents may have done the best they could to with you. But your parent's best is not your best. Your parents may be very successful. They may be well educated, provided a great home for you, and may have set an excellent example of family for you as well. But their best is still not your best.

Understand this, you will always be limited by the ability of the people you compare yourself to. Even if the people you are comparing yourself to go by the name of Mom and Dad.


To Blog...Nakeia

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Yahoo and Me...

I have shared some stories from my life many times on this blog. As a speaker, I use my story as an introduction, and as a mentor I use my story, along with my research and professional experience, often to illustrate a particular point. So as part of my introduction to the Metro Atlanta area, I hosted a Lunch and Learn and invited some fellow speakers, authors, musical artists, and entrepreneurs to come and hear some of my story first hand.

The world is full of great people with interesting stories of overcoming obstacles, building success after years of failure; and stories of people becoming more than their circumstances, experiences, and even family told them they could be. So as compelling as the story of my life is to me, I pray, every time I get ready to speak, that I don’t bore the audience.
A wonderful woman by the name of Karen Francis came out to learn about me. She was also kind enough to invite four other people---which blew me away because she had never met me before that day. Although with her career in finance, real estate, radio, and marketing, Karen is a writer. She and I are a lot alike in that we believe in using every gift, talent, and skill that we have to add value to our lives as well as others we come in contact with. I really dig her style!
Anyway, Karen didn’t find me boring---thank God! She actually asked to interview me for the Associated Content for Yahoo. I am still working on my blogging skills and have yet to read the book I picked up on HTML. So please, bear with me as I the ancient way of posting a link to the interview.
Click here to read the article


To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

My Pick

I don’t even know who I am anymore.
I need to change, but I don’t know where to start.
This…isn’t me!


Those are the words of my pick for the Leave 2010 With No Regrets Challenge. She is a 30 something… wife, mother, and aspiring business owner. Her family has suffered a huge negative shift in their finances, and she is feeling extremely overwhelmed.

5 or 6 years ago I knew who I was and what I wanted. I was upbeat, energetic, and full of ideas. I was the one that everyone came to for advice…and now I am coming to you.

Most people who make the--- I don’t even know who I am anymore statement live their lives as characters, rather than taking the time to actually develop personal character. They create a persona that is based upon how they look, what they have accomplished, how much money they have in the bank, and how others see them. I know this to be true because whenever you ask them to describe who they were before, they say things like:

People loved me...
I used to go out more…
I would never go around looking like this before…

Those phrases have everything to do with the surface. Those are assumed identifiers and there is nothing distinctive about them. If someone was to ask for a description of me and I said, people love me, I go out, and I always look nice, what would that tell you about me?

In the case of my pick for the challenge, who I will call Stacy, she allowed her material gains, the amount of people surrounding her, and ultimately her personified self to define who she was. And when she could no longer keep up the appearance, she became unrecognizable to herself.
Now let me just say there is much, much more to Stacy. She is well educated, a dedicated wife and mother, and has a wonderful idea for a business. In order for me to find that out, however, I had to dig past the persona to find the Stacy that has been waiting for her opportunity to thrive.

Stacy’s first assignment is to spend time with her neglected self. I say neglected because she hasn’t spent much time in self reflection, assessment, or realization. For the next two weeks she will spent 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night, sitting alone and saying nothing. By doing this, the real Stacy will feel permitted to speak and eventually she will begin recognize her.

More of Stacy’s journey to come…


To Blog…Nakeia

Monday, August 30, 2010

A Toy and Catch Phrase

Philosophers, mathematical theorist, humanists, astronauts, Beyonce’, and the President himself have all used this one particular quote. I, for one, have been using this quote so much lately, that I should be offered some sort of endorsement deal. It’s so deep. There is no limit to its possible use.


And it was the words of this world famous, 12-inch, space ranger!


That’s right! An award winning, Disney Pixar character by the name of Buzz Lightyear, of Toy Story, has sparked quite an interest among children, of course, but also among adults since hitting the big screen in 1995. The catch phrase, to infinity…and beyond is used by 5 year olds on the playground and college professors in the classroom…

In the case of Toy Story, infinity is used to reference space beyond the Earth. When I use it, I am referencing something that is boundless, limitless, and too great to count. For instance, you can think without bounds, dream without bounds, and create limitless opportunities IF you dare to do those things with a mind that is set to infinity…and beyond.

This week I want you to approach each day, each opportunity, and each new endeavor with a mind set to infinity. Think out of the bounds of your currentcircumstance, dream without limits, and live a life that creates an atmosphere where opportunities too great to count are welcomed.

To infinity…and beyond!




To Blog…Nakeia

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Love (The Series) Part 4

The idea of attraction is something that I have spent many years researching. It is a concept that continually resurfaces every decade or so. In the early part of the twentieth century a concept surrounding the idea of attraction officially became known as The Law of Attraction. However, it is reported that in 1879, the New York Times was the first major newspaper to use the phrase Law of Attraction. A book and movie by the same name, titled The Secret (2006), highlights the law and featured many leading philosophers, motivators, and inspirational thinkers of today. I have purposely stayed away from the Law of Attraction in my blogs for many reasons. The main reason is because it is not a law that I totally ascribe to. Today is no different…

I want to introduce the principle of attraction as it pertains to dating. This is a complex idea so I will cover a few key principles here on the blog. For those of you who may desire further explanations, as always, you have an open invitation to ask questions and leave comments.
According to Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary, to attract is to draw by appeal to natural or excited interest, emotion, or aesthetic sense. Attraction is the act, process, or power of drawing/pulling to oneself. It is also the power of drawing forth a response. In other words if you attract something or someone, you are acting as a magnet.
Specific to dating, attraction is literally what brings or draws to people together. Someone may pull your attention to them by offering a pleasant smile; others may draw your attention because of a pleasant cologne or perfume. Either way, something caught your attention or peaked your interest. Conversely, you may pull someone else’s attention in the same way.
Now that my lecture is over, basically here is what I want you to know:
If you have been wondering why every man you meet only want s to sleep with you, you must consider the principle of attraction. Did to attract that man by your pleasant smile, intellectual conversation, or that new black dress that fits you like a glove? Let’s be real for a second, men are visual. If they see it and it looks good to them that is almost all it takes to set the principle of attraction in motion. Now I am not saying put the new black dress in the back of the closet. Just consider the things that you want to make the central focus of a relationship, and make sure that those things are being used to attract the man you desire.
As for my male readers, the same apply to you. If you use money to attract a date, do not become alarmed when your date expects you to maintain that lavish lifestyle. Material gifts and expensive dinners are great---but should be considered an investment when it comes to dating. A woman of substance is connected to what is important in life and doesn’t need your money.
Here are a few quick tips for attracting the man/woman you desire:
If you want a smart man/women, become smart yourself and use your intellect to attract a mate.

If you want an attractive man/woman, take care in your own personal appearance and health.

If you want a man/ woman who is wealthy, learn everything there is to know about money and use that knowledge to become wealthy yourself.

One final thought on the principle of attraction as it pertains to dating; you should not spend the prime of your life, seeking the attention of another. Purpose, contentment, and wholeness is attractive, if you seek to attract fulfillment in those areas of your life, the best man/woman will automatically be drawn to you.

To Blog…Nakeia

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Love (The Series) Part 3

Elizabeth Taylor had seven husband and eight marriages. She actually had the nerve to marry the same man twice! Well I certainly would have married him again for that 69.42-carat pear-shape diamond he purchased her! Now I am certain that there is some one some where that has married more than eight times, but Elizabeth Taylor is by far one of America’s favorite serial brides!

Honestly, I can’t imagine a desire to be married strong enough to make me do it eight times. But I have been married eight years and I can tell you that loving, supporting, nurturing, and training one husband is no walk in the park!

On a more serious note, It takes love, commitment, respect, and diligence to create a successful marriage. Each personal must be clear on his/her marital purpose. Here is a little premarital advice for those of you who desire to be married:
Before you say I DO…
…Here are a few questions that you and your mate should address:
What are your intentions (expectations) for marriage? You can not live happily ever after if you have not yet identified what happily ever after means to you. Each individual must be clear on what is expected of them. (Quick Tip: Be realistic about your expectations. Fairy tales are for children.)

What value does each of you intend to bring into the marriage? There is strength in partnering. When two people can come together, each bringing their own personal strengths, there is nothing that can not be accomplished! Understand the value of your intended mate and be sure to use it to become better yourself. (Quick Tip: Allow your mate to exercise his/her strength. If you can navigate through life alone, then you should remain single. Marriage has no place for ego!)

What will be your family purpose? You may lead separate lives in your career. You may have very important personal goals---But there should be a point in every marriage/family when you come together to achieve something as a unit. There should be something meaningful, something lasting, and that will enhance each individual’s personal strength. (Quick Tip: Scheduling some time each weekend to work on a family project will establish a routine that will help maintain a connection and strong sense of togetherness.)

I have listed three questions that can be the foundation of a successful marriage. For those of you who are already married, it is not too late to address these important issues. Staying connected to your intentions for marriage is what will assist you in maintaining the happy marriage that you desire. I strongly advice everyone that has made a decision to enter into marriage to seek the counsel of a professional before you say I DO.

To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Love (The Series) Part2

Then:
Guy likes girl. Girl likes guy, but pretends she doesn’t. Eventually, guy and girl “go out”, get married, have children, and live happily ever after. All of that took place over the course of a year.

Now:
Guy likes girl, but pretends he doesn’t. Girl likes guy. Right away, guy and girl “hook up”, get engaged, have children, and live miserably ever after. All of that takes place over the course of 10 years.

I am happily married and off the market---THANK GOD! From what I hear, it is not easy being single. The ratio of women to men varies from place to place. BUT, one thing that is consistent everywhere is that single women outnumber single men. I will not get into statistics on STD’s, but I will share that it has been reported that, in the United States, there is more than 1 million people living with HIV and more that ½ million people who develop AIDS have died. Keep in mind that there are many people who never get tested. So what a girl or guy to do?

Something like 1 in 5 current relationships are developed through online dating services. I personally know 2 couples that met online and married this year. For those of you who live in a cave and are not familiar with online dating, it is a dating system which allows individuals to meet online before meeting in person. Each individual sets up a personal profile and specific criteria with the intentions of creating a perfect match.

If you are really busy and don’t have time to cruise the online matchmaking scene, you can take a couple hours on a Friday night to attend a Speed Dating event. Yes…speed dating! This option seems to be the most entertaining. If you hear your biological clock is ticking, you may want to check this one out! I kid…I kid! Seriously though, speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process which encourages individuals to meet a number of people, at once, in a setting that allows you to get straight to the point.

Here is my take on dating. If you are over the age of 25 and you want to get married and start a family, stop wasting time, money, and your intentions on Friday night Fillers. Fillers are individuals that you allow to fill-in for the real thing. You know that person (filler) isn’t the one, but you don’t want to spend your Friday night alone or just with friends. So you call on a Filler to fill the void that can really only be filled with a meaningful relationship. I admit I was guilty of using Fillers. I have only had two romantic relationships in my life. I was a teenager during the first relationship and the other guy I now call husband. But I mistakenly allowed Fillers to occupy the space in between.

I will not endorse online dating or speed- dating, but I will say that those methods do two things that I will advise you to do as well.

Establish a criterion. You know the type of guy or girl that is suitable for you. Get rid of the Fillers! I know some dating experts with tell you to get rid of your wish list and compromise. I beg to differ. That is just another way of telling you to settle. I will however, suggest that you be realistic. Tall, dark, and handsome just doesn’t cut it any more. Ladies, you are not Barbie and Ken is plastic. Please list some criteria of substance.

Get straight to the point. Stop wasting time. Time is of the essence is a legal phrase that I use on my contracts for my business. It simply means that the actions set forth in the agreement must be fulfilled in the time set forth or in a reasonable amount of time. It is also a very important principle that can be applied to many instances of your life. Set a specific or reasonable time frame for getting to know a person. I personally would know after the first date if someone was suitable for me. For you, it may take two dates. If a meaningful relationship that will lead to marriage is your goal, get to the point!

I think I’ve said enough…

To Blog…Nakeia

Monday, August 23, 2010

I'm Back!

I've missed you so much that I am going to post twice today!

As promised, this week I will talking about L-O-V-E. I can be quite dogmatic on the issue of love at times. So today I thought I would ease my way into the series by sharing my earliest ideas of love. So check out Love (The Series) Part 1!

I also promised to share is my pick for the Leave 2010 With No Regrets Challenge. If you missed the post about the challenged, you may still have a chance. I have decided to reopen the challenge!! I will tell you why later.

I will explain the challenge again...

I want to assist someone in using the last 4 months of 2010 to do what it takes to leave this year with NO REGRETS. I am offering my expertise as a Life Development Strategist and Mentor, for FREE, to a follower that is READY TO CHANGE his/her life! This offer is exclusive. I will only chose someone that I deem suitable for an intensive development program. If you have read any of my blogs, then you already know that I am a woman of action! So the person the I chose must be prepared to act---immediately. If you believe you are ready, please send me an email detailing what you would like to accomplish before the end of the year. You have until August 27 th at 5pm to submit your request for assistance.

With that said...make today a day of productive action! Engage in activities that will set success in motion!

To Blog...Nakeia

Love (The Series) Part 1

When I fall in love it will be forever
Or I'll never fall in love
In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it's begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun

When I give my heart it will be completely
Or I'll never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.

And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.
~ Victor Young

I learned everything I needed to know about love from old black and white movies on American Movie Classics (AMC) and the lyrics in famous love songs. When I heard one of my favorite singer’s of all time, Nat King Cole, perform his cover version of Victor Young’s When I Fall in Love--- that was it! I knew LOVE was for me.

So quite naturally, when I fell in love with my first boyfriend, at 15 years old, I just knew it would be forever. After all, in every black and white movie I had ever seen, when to people fell in love, even if there was a period of separation, they stayed in love---forever!

Needless to say I found out, the hard way, I did NOT know everything I needed to now about love. In the real world, love is not scripted like the scene in a movie, it not as smooth as the timbre in Nat King Cole’s voice, and I and my EX-boyfriend were not actors playing the role of forever loves.
Right about the time my EX-boyfriend broke my heart, at the tender age of 18 years old, I should have remembered the final line in Victor Young’s song.
…And the moment that I feel that you feel that way too, is when I fall in love with you.

In relationships love should be reciprocal. Love should be felt and shown by each side. Before you decide to fall in love and give your heart completely, you should be clear on 2 things:

Be confident that you are placing your love and heart in good hands.

Be confident that the recipient feels the same way, and that they are willing to express those feelings through mutual exchanges of affection, desire and kindness.

If you go into your next relationship with just those 2 things in mind, you will avoid wasting precious time and avoid the pain of heartache.


To Blog...Nakeia

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Back Soon...

Hello Internet!!

I have taken on a mission that will leave me unable to blog for a few days...


Please tune in on Monday. I will be announcing my pick for the 4 month Leaving 2010 with No Regrets challenge. As promised I will not share your real name, but I will be sharing some of our journey.

I have also decided to spend next week on issue of L-O-V-E. I have received some messages with questions concerning dating, marriage, and love-lost---so I will share my answers in a series I call ___________________?????

Sorry, I haven't named it yet.

See you next week!


To Blog...Nakeia

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Kindergarten Lessons...

So, as you know, I have been a mess all week. A MESS!

My one and only child, the apple of my eye, the center of my world, my human alarm clock---has finally (after much begging not to be home-schooled any longer) left the nest. I wasn't ready to let go. As difficult as it has been to work, prepare 3meals and 2 snacks a day, teach my daughter everything she needed to know about shapes, sounds, color, numbers, planets, presidents, and everything in between; 3 days ago, when I dropped her off at school I felt loss---LOSS. I wondered if I had made the right decision. I worried that all she would do all day was color and sing songs--- she a very bright child and she can and should be doing more than coloring and singing, I thought to myself. Day 2 was a little better because I had meetings to occupy my time. But on the way home I almost forgot that she would be there waiting for me...

This morning on the way to school, my daughter says to me---Mom, you need to get over it. We can't be together all of the time.

Get over it! Really?!

As I drove away from the school I realized that I really needed to get over it. I made a decision to let her go and now I must live with it. So, just like that* I am over it!

I decided to share my kindergarten lesson with you today because I know that I am not alone. I am not the only one that has made a decision that I was not able to live with.

In the words of a very wise kindergarten kid, get over it! Once you have made a decision, learn to live with it.

To Blog...Nakeia

Monday, August 9, 2010

Hello Kindergarten

...As I walked her through the hallway, I could feel her grip getting tighter and tighter. She was excited and scared. She was anxious and hesitant. It was written all over her face... But nothing was going to stop her from walking into that classroom...

...I knew those feelings. It was the same kind of feelings that I felt the day the doctor confirmed that I was carrying her. I was excited to be a mother, but scared that I would fail. I was anxious to see her face to face, but hesitant about her leaving my belly to enter this sometimes ~crazy world... But nothing was going to stop me from enjoying every moment...

Even the ones that make me excited, scared, anxious, and hesitant---all at once.

Today I proudly introduced my baby girl to kindergarten!


To Blog...Nakeia

Friday, August 6, 2010

More Like a Habit...

When I was in college, studying human behavior, researchers said that it took about 14 days to break a bad habit.

Since then, the days have increased to 21---to 30---to it depends on the age, length of time one has engaged in the old behavior, gender, and on and on...

In other words, Idk (that means I don't know for those of you non-texters).

Idk what kind of bad habit you want to break or what new habit you are attempting to break in~ to, but I promise if you start with 1 day of intentional decision making, you will be well on your way to changing your entire life.

Today, make decisions that are intentional.


To Blog..Nakeia

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Skip the Introductions

Begin with the end in mind, and you won’t need to begin again

I have been writing the same book for the last 8 years, she says to me. She corrected herself and began again by saying---I have been trying to write the same book for 8 years and honestly, I can’t get past introduction. I know what I want to say, but I am having a hard time getting it out.

I ask her---what is it about?

She spent 5 minutes explaining the circumstances that led her to write the book and at least 10 minutes detailing the characters, plot, and conclusion of her book.
When she finally stopped speaking, I said to her---why don’t you just write that?

Moral of the story…
Sometimes you can’t get so caught up in the details surrounding the start of your goal that you loose sight of what you set out to accomplish.

The Remedy…
Begin your next diet, relationship, or book with the end in mind and skip the introductions.

To Blog…Nakeia

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Where It All Began...

The story of my journey to whole life development starts with my first major life goal. I was 10 years old, living in a public housing development, or the projects, with my granny when I made my first intentional decision. I wanted to get out of the projects and stay out. So, I set a goal to graduate high school, graduate college, and get a job that would pay me enough money to live in a house far away from the hood. Setting that major life goal kept me off the streets, away from boys, and focused on my intentions.

The success of achieving that goal is a direct result of the Principle of Intentional Decision Making™. I will go over that principle, in detail, with the person that I choose to work with to begin their journey to achieve a major life goal, for the next 4 months. But for those of you that will be working diligently on your own to leave 2010 with no regrets, I want you to keep this in mind.

When deciding where to focus your efforts, you should begin with a clear statement of intention. What do you want to reasonably accomplish within the next 4 months?

At 10 years old, all I knew for sure is that I wanted to live some where else. That’s it.
This is the apartment I grew up in.
That choice---that statement of intention is where it all began. And that is a good place for you to start.


To Blog…Nakeia

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Special Offer...

As we move toward fall, I am preparing to focus my intentions on new objectives, goals, and ideas for the next season. There is only 4 months left to this year. Now a few years back you may have found me in panic mode right about now. As you well know I am a planner. So I would join the rest of the world in writing New Year’s resolutions, plans, goals---whatever you want to call it. Most of the time, each year’s list would be identical to the year before. I would get all caught up in the hype over the resolutions, and when the hype wore off, so did my desire to resolve.

This year’s list was the best one yet. Instead of writing a long list of things I wanted to do. I prepared a short list of things that I needed to do before 2010 was over. There were goals that I had been carrying over from year-to-year---for years. I was not going out like that this year! I am proud to say that most of my intentions for this year have been accomplished. If this week goes as planned, there will only be two things left for me to accomplish and I have 4 months to do it!
What about you? Are you proud of how you have lived year? Have you crossed off the things on your list? Have you come to a resolve on the major issues in your life?
There is still 4 months left to 2010. I want to see you leave this year with no regrets! So, I am offering my services as a Life Development Strategist and Mentor, for FREE, to 1 reader. If you follow my blog, you know what I do. I have given out strategies and principles that people pay me for just so that you can live a desired life. Some of you have sent me messages saying how something I that have shared has made you think, but now it is time to take action! I will not disclose the identity of the person that is chosen, however I will be sharing our journey on the blog. Just send me a message detailing your intentions and explain why you believe you are finally ready to make it happen. This offer is not for the weak, scared, and lazy. That’s right---you heard me! You must be willing to put in the work! I am willing to make the commitment if you are!
This offer will expire August 13, 2010. Do not delay!!!
For those of you that are not chosen, I have a special offer for you as well.
Let’s Make It Happen!!!!!


To Blog…Nakeia

Monday, August 2, 2010

A Simple Message

Today instead of a story, a famous quote, or an assignment, I have a simple message...

...Stop looking outside of yourself for the answers.

You have everything you need to do everything you want to do. Look inside and dig up those long lost dreams, unfinished goals, and forgotten promises you once made to yourself. Dust them off, reconnect and get to work!



I guess this is sort of an assignment, huh?

To Blog...Nakeia

Friday, July 30, 2010

Tips Week Day 5

If I gave you the assignment of writing down all of the things that you do not like about yourself, you would complete it effortlessly. You have spent years committing the act of verbal abuse against yourself. You have hated your nose since you were 10. You started speaking ill of your thighs after college. You think your smile isn’t bad, but just wish your teeth were whiter. You like the length of your hair but you wish that it was thicker…

Those kinds of comments are common among women, but men, you have issues too. You think that being a few inches taller would have given you a better edge in high school. You work out really hard at the gym because you think that you can get just as buff as the next guy; but what you are really telling yourself is that the way you look right now isn’t good enough. Or, how many times have you looked in the mirror dreading the day that you expect to go bald like your father…

Tip # 5
Show YOURSELF some love.
Stop the verbal abuse. The things that you hate about your appearance and your life can always be change. We live in a world that has created a gadget, pill, cream, or surgery that has promised to cure everything that ails you. If you think that you are too short that can be fixed as well. Doctors can break some bones in your legs and reattach them in a way that could add inches to your height.

Here is the truth. Your body is a shell. It acts a shield or covering to preserve the things that matter the most---like you spirit, character, and heart. Learn to love who you are on the inside so that those things can give you the strength and the will to improve, reinvent, and appreciate the things that you see on the outside.


To Blog...Nakeia

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Tips Week Day 4

For years I hated baking. HATED IT! So imagine how grateful I was to marry a man that could bake. I just put in my requests and stay out of his way. He bakes delicious cakes, cookies, and even candies. One day I saw him whip up one of cakes that my grandmother is famous for and I was amazed! It looked good, tasted even better, and it only took him 30 minutes to get it in the oven...

Speaking of my granny, she is the reason why I hate baking. She is a great cook and baker, but there is a method to her culinary genius and if you were going to cook with her, you HAD to learn that method. As a child, I didn’t want to learn a method. I just wanted to stir up some stuff and lick the spoon. But granny had other plans for me. When it was time to bake some cakes, she would wake me up early in the morning. We would measure, and sift, mix and stir---for hours. And the stirring is what really got me. According to the method, I had to stir 20 times to the right and then 20 times to the left. Really----20 times, and she would know if I only stirred 19. It seemed like she was just being extra to me, but she swore by her method and the proof was in the pudding (Pun intended---she makes the best banana pudding). If that is what she needed to do to make her cakes taste so great, I said whatever works. But I certainly wasn’t going to be the one doing all that work. So after years of baking according to granny’s method, I gave it up. I turned in my apron and left the baking to the experts.
...Okay, back to my husband’s baking skills. The day that I saw him whip up my granny’s famous pound cake in about 30 minutes, my whole life changed. When I saw him put it in the oven, I told him I think skipped some steps. He said he didn’t. But I wasn’t convinced. How did he get the same cake that took me and granny all morning to measure, sift, mix and stir---into the oven in only 30 minutes? The proof was in the first bite. It was great---almost better than granny’s---almost. We talked about it briefly and I told him all of the things that granny and I did to make than same cake. He said; all of that isn’t even necessary….
Tip # 4
Do what is necessary. You have developed certain methods over the years. From your morning wake-up routine, to the route you take to drive work---you do things a certain way. But is it all necessary? Sometimes it is possible to get lost in the method. Some things just aren’t necessary and it stalls your productivity. If you have been having a difficult time in keeping up with your deadlines and fulfilling your daily responsibilities, this tip can help.

Re-evaluate your method and see if you can eliminate some steps. There may be a way for you to get the same quality of work, with the least amount of effort. There may be a way that is just as efficient and less intensive. Discovering these new methods may free up some time that you could spend creating other opportunities.

Implementing Tip # 4 is easy. When you see that it taking you quite a bit of time to complete one task, ask yourself if all of the steps you are taking to do it are necessary.

To Blog…Nakeia