The Uncommon Life

Ordinary just isn’t good enough for me. I don’t know how to be common, unremarkable, usual, or customary. That is why I have always had a hard time fitting in.

I spent the first half of my life apologizing for standing out in a crowd. I wouldn’t raise my hand in class or seminar when I knew the answer to the question being asked so people wouldn’t think---that I thought---I had all of the answers.

I would often ease into a room unassumingly as not to call attention to myself; because I was worried people would mistake my happy confidence for apparent superiority.

Now I am all grown up. Actually, let’s face it, I’m pretty old now---- and I have come to realize that confining myself to an image that will make others comfortable, not only limits me but it is a disservice to those who need me to be authentically me.

In the industries that I work in, both in entertainment and in personal development, people pay me to be uncommon, stand out in a crowd, have the answers they need, and command a room! Ironic, isn’t it?

People are attracted to authenticity. However uncommon, remarkable, and unusual you may be, if you are shown to be trustworthy and genuine, people will welcome you into their space. In a crowded room, the person who stands out will also be the person everyone wants to meet. In the marketplace the business that is remarkable and unusual will also be the business---with the most---business.

Many are in search of purpose. People are tired of life as usual. You want to live a bolder, better, UNCOMMON life!

Well, you have my permission to raise your hand, call attention to yourself, and please, by all means, be unapologetically authentic!

Here’s your approach to an unordinary---uncommon life:

Get comfortable in your own skin. Being authentically you may make a few others uncomfortable, but that is their issue and not yours. Being naturally confident is not the same as being superior in nature. When you surround yourself with the right people, those people will be confident too and welcome you into their space.

Serve others by being who you are. Never forget that someone else is depending on you to succeed. Your confidence, your talents, and your unique purpose have not been entrusted to you---just for you. Embrace the things that make you stand out from the crowd, because one day someone will want to pay you for it.

To Blog…Nakeia

Happy Moments

I just started a twitter and facebook fan page a couple of weeks and I am far from a savvy tweeter, but I am leaning. If you follow me on twitter @nakeiachomer or if you are a fan on facebook, then you know that at the end of each day, I ask the question:

What was your happiest moment of the day?

That question started with me about 3 years ago when I found myself complaining more than usual. I don’t think it’s healthy to complain at all, but at that particular time in my life, every time I opened my mouth it was to complain.

That complaining went from constant lip service to an actual physical feeling of constant unhappiness. Because complaining is an outward expression of unhappiness or discontent, what I was verbalizing outwardly was just a manifestation of what I was feeling internally. I found myself frowning all of the time and literally waking up and looking for something to complain about.

I remember receiving a text message from a client asking for some emotional support during a moment of struggle, and ignoring her text. In that moment I said to myself I am not the right person for her to talk to today. Really? If- I- was not- the right-person- for her- to talk to- then- who- was?

At that moment I sat down and began a list of just 5 things that I was happy about. That list of 5 turned into a list of 25 and before I went to bed that night I asked myself the question:

What was your happiest moment of the day?

I have asked myself and my family that question every night since then. In order to come up with an answer every night, I had to search for happy moments sometimes. If I smiled or laughed, if I felt content or satisfied, I would wonder if one of those times would be my moment of complete happiness for the day. Because I wouldn’t allow myself to go to bed without defining a happy moment, I would create one by thinking of a joke so I could laugh out loud or I would go and have a conversation with my 6 year old because she always makes me happy.

All of the wasted energy I used to complain, I now use to find reasons to be happy. In the midst of a bad day, I make a choice to be happy.

Here’s your approach:

If you find yourself complaining about the things you are unhappy about, challenge yourself to find just one thing that made you feel happy that day. Make a commitment to yourself not to go to bed without defining a happy moment. It will be hard to find things to complain about when you are looking for reasons to be happy.

To Blog…Nakeia

What Were You Thinking?

Without a doubt, most of you were excited about the New Year. You were pumped! You were motivated! You were driven---and on the 12th day of the New Year---you have already lost some steam.

Now I don’t blame you completely. You have a lot going on. Your bank account has lost more weight than you resolved to. Your biggest supporters are busy supporting themselves. You are doing so much right now, you can hardly keep up---and you feel like if you can just have a moment to catch your breath, you just may be able to catch up.

I have one question for you---WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!

Actually I know what you were thinking. You were thinking that this year would be your year. You thought you could take it all on at once---and you really thought this time would be the time that you finally did it. BUT---you’re doing too much! Stop trying to do it all and start doing what makes sense.

You are only 12 days in, and this time will be the time you do it…

…if---you Simply Do What Makes Sense™

If what you are doing to achieve your goal is tiring you out, getting you out of focus, and causing you to second guess yourself, it doesn’t make sense. AND---if it doesn’t make sense, don’t do it.

I want that to be your theme for the year.

Here’s your approach:

Take out your list of resolutions. Now tear it up and throw it away. You don’t need it.

If writing a list of things could make you successful, you would have accomplished your goals the day you wrote them down.

Now close your eyes and get a clear picture of how you want your year to be. Once you see the vision, write it down in vivid detail. Who are you? How do you look? What are you doing? How do you feel?

On another sheet of paper, write down your reality in those areas. Who are you now? What do you look like now? What are you doing now? How do you feel now?

Your next move is simple.

Eliminate one thing every week from your reality, that is not apart of the clear vision you have for your future. If what you are doing, saying, feeling, and living don’t fit the vision; eliminate it---one action, one word, one thought at a time.

Make this year your year by simply doing what makes since!


To Blog…Nakeia

Not Another New Year Themed Blog

At the top of everyone’s agenda you will find a resolution. I really didn’t want t bore you with another New Year themed blog (and I promise I wont)---BUT---when I walked through the aisles of Wal-Mart seeing nothing but exercise equipment and diet pills---when I turned on the television and saw Jenny Craig, Weight Watcher’s, and The Biggest Loser commercials---I just could help myself.

Now I have no intention of sharing with you my struggles with weight because, quite honestly, that is none of your business. I will however share another something personal.

I wore braces for five years. No, my teeth weren’t that hideous. My grand-mom just couldn’t afford the monthly payment plan we were on, so I was forced to wear braces until my aunt stepped in and began to make the payments for me. Don’t feel sorry for me; I got over it--- and let’s just say my teeth are extra straight.

If you know anything about the process of straightening your teeth with the use of sharp metal wires--- that are woven through metal brackets---that are cemented to your teeth--- and tightened once a month--- to the point of uncomfortable pain--- bare with me as I explain it to those who do not.

Technically, the application of brackets or braces moves the teeth as a result of force and pressure on the teeth. This process loosens the tooth and then new bone grows in to support the tooth in its new position which is technically called bone remodeling. Braces have constant pressure, which over time, move teeth into their proper positions. This movement needs to be done slowly otherwise the patient risks losing his or her teeth. This is why braces are commonly worn for approximately two and a half years and adjustments are only made every three or four weeks.

My process was delayed often over the course of five years because when we did not have the monthly payment, we were not able to get the wires adjusted. At the time, I didn’t mind because I didn’t want to endure the uncomfortable process of getting my teeth straightened. I knew I couldn’t keep the braces on forever, but if I could just get by for just a little while longer, I would be ready the next time. Well next time turned into five years!

Now I am sure that by now you are wondering how my five years of being known as a brace face will connect to resolutions. Well, I have a gift and I am not so modest about it. I have been gifted with the ability to take common issues of everyday life and create a lesson out of it. Also, as promised that I wouldn’t bore you with another New Year themed blog (and I hope you are not bored.)

So here is the lesson:

Every time you put off doing what you need to do to straighten out your life because of lack of money, discomfort, lack of discipline, or whatever your excuses have been, you delay the process and prolong the amount of time you will lack money, feel discomfort, live an undisciplined life, and whatever else you have been experiencing.

Get the connection?

In this New Year, resolve to simply get it done. Whatever it is for you---get it done! Prevent the delays and prolonged discontent. Don’t live your life just getting by until next year. Or---your next year could turn into five years from now---or even worse--- Never.

Since this was a lesson, here is your assignment:

Write down at least one thing that you have been delaying year after year. Now simply get it done! You know what you need to do, so do it. Look past your finances, your discomfort, and all of your other excuses and make this year the year you get it done.


To Blog…Nakeia