The Good Ole' Days

Your past is only relevant to your present if it positions you for your future.


For the past 3 weeks, I have been hosting a few clients for my Get Clear. Get Focused… 5 Week Intensive. We have been strategically tackling clarity and focus killers---taking them down week by week---but this week’s focus seemed a bit challenging for some.

I explained to the attendees that their past could be clouding their judgment and keeping them from being clear and focused and this is why:

Your past or your history must be perceived with the intentions of growth and forward thinking if it is to be helpful to your future. This is necessary because if you look to the past and perceive happier and more successful experiences than in your present, if you are not careful, you can become bitter, stuck, and emotionally depleted; which will ultimately cause you to digress instead of progressing.

Here is a common sense statement of truth that helped them and it could help you:

If things were are good as you thought they were back in the day, you would have no problem making them good right now.

Think about that statement for a moment. The common thread between your past, your present, and your future is YOU. People in your life may have changed or come and gone, you may be in a different place in your life (physically and mentally), and you may not possess the same things you used to possess. But, YOU are still here. And---if YOU were able to attract the people, places, and things that made back in the day so good, YOU should be able to do the same thing now.

If you have been bitter, stuck, and emotionally depleted because of your perception of the past, here is your approach:

Look ahead. I have said this many times before, and I’ll most certainly say it many more times, but this is essential. Looking ahead promotes expectation, right thinking, and positive action. Your future will be as good as you make it. Look ahead for ways to create your good life.

Look for lessons. It is great if you are one of the very few people who only have success stories in your history. I, for one, have failed at some things. And--- those failures are directly responsible for my current---and future success. I have many life lessons to pull from. I find that people learn more from the things they have done wrong, than from what they have done right.

Get a grip. Here is some loving truth for you… the good ole’ days weren’t that good. It is impossible to have done all of the right things, had all of the success you can imagine--- in your past---and then live a life that totally sucks today. IMPOSSIBLE. Something that you did led you to where you are today. So, you need to look back, grab a hold of whatever lesson you need to learn, and keep it moving.

Don’t let you past kill your focus. Your past is gone, and all you really have is not today, but this very moment. What you do with this moment will determine how good your future will be.

To Blog…Nakeia

Common Sense Is Not So Common

Most people do things that make no sense.

They live in houses they can’t afford, stay in relationships that make them miserable, clock in to jobs they hate, eat foods that make them sick, and take whatever life gives them instead of asking for what they want---and probably deserve.

Now I know that you would never do any of those things, but maybe you can think of a “friend” who does.

What if I told you that you, I mean your “friend” could change you whole life by implementing one major principle. You, I mean your friend, could have financial freedom, positive relationships, prosperous careers, good health, and you could start getting everything you want---and deserve out of life, by simply doing what make sense. It’s true, with a healthy dose of common sense, your life can be better---much better.

If you want better in life and are not afraid to admit that you don’t always do things that make sense, here is your approach:

Before you approach your next decision, goal, or personal/professional relationship ask your self this questions:

What would make sense, does this make sense, or am I using good ole’ common sense?

Those questions, if applied correctly, and answered honestly can be life changing.

To blog…Nakeia

Under, Over, or Does it Really Even Matter?

The biggest fight my husband and I ever had--- to date--- happened in the second week of our marriage.

There were many words exchanged…most of which I can’t and probably shouldn’t remember. In short, I am ashamed to say that we almost considered ending our marriage because of an argument over whether the toilet paper roll should be placed on the toilet paper roll holder, in an under or over position. Yes. In that crazy moment in our two week old marriage, we questioned our compatibility because I wanted the toilet paper in the over position and my husband thought he should let the toilet paper roll fall where it may (he didn’t care if it was under or over and didn’t want to even think about it when it was time to replaced the roll). We will be married ten years this year, so let’s just say we got over it.

Two valuable principles were implemented, in our marriage, from that moment on.

1. In our house, the toilet paper must be in the OVER position---after all the husband didn’t care anyway.

2. Focus on what matters.

It makes no sense to allow the thing s that serve no real purpose---the things that don’t really matter--- in your life, get you out of focus and off balance. Those things, whatever they may be, only serve the as distractions. I am certain that the things that are distracting you right now are much more significant than how to hang the toilet paper roll. Whatever your distractions may be, just ask yourself:

Does this really matter? Will this make or break my life? Is this worth my time and attention? Is this wasting my time?


If you have been out of focus and off balance, and you know it’s because of things that don’t really matter, here is your approach:

Review your intentions. Whether you are on a mission to fulfill a specific goal, in the middle of an important decision(like how to hang the toilet paper), or contemplating the importance of a relationship, review your intentions or your reasons why you are doing what you are doing and ask yourself is this serving its purpose. Reviewing your intentions will keep you aligned with your purpose and focused on what matters.

Develop hand written or typed and printed action steps. It’s not enough to just say what you want to do. You must have a plan, in the form of step-by-step and decisive actions that you will take each day. Hand writing it or typing and printing it will serve as accountability. As you complete a step you can cross it off. This simple strategy will keep you so focused on what matters, you won’t have time to be distracted.

Ask the necessary questions. Before you act ask the question does this matter. Before a serious discussion, a difficult decision, an action toward a goal, an answered email, or an answered phone call, ask your self:

Does this really matter?

If your answer is yes, this will help me fulfill my goal, make better decisions, improve my relationship, or add value to my life; do it. If your answer is no, this will get me out of focus, off balance, or waste my time; don’t do it.

I gave you the example of a crazy argument between me and my husband, which is now a running joke among my family, to illustrate how focusing on the things that serve no real purpose in your life can get you out of focus. But building a marriage, a life of peace and balance, or a business is no joke. It takes strategic planning, decisive action, and a clear focus. You can start by doing what matters!

To Blog…Nakeia

No More IFs

If---if had a shadow, it would look like failure.

Whenever you hear a people speak of their perceived failure, the word if is always present.

IF I had money…
IF I had more time…
IF I were younger…
IF I had different parents…

…and those I just the ones I’ve used.

The one thing that everyone that has ever failed at any time has in common is:

They know the reasons why.

They believe that the ifs explain away their lack of achievement.

I understand the temptation to cling to the ifs. It seems as if it shields you from the full implications of failure. But what it actually does is leave you standing in the shadows of what could have been your shinning moments in life.

IF you had been more persistent…
IF you had not given up…
IF you had trusted yourself more…
IF you came out of the shadow…

…what could you have achieved?

To step out of the shadows and into your success, here is your approach:

Take the ifs out of your vocabulary. The word if is used to indicate the circumstances that would have to exist in order for something to happen. Sometimes circumstances are uncontrollable conditions. You may not be able to control the circumstance, but you can always control you actions toward it.

Do it anyway! Whenever you feel the temptation to use the word if to explain why you are making a choice not to do something, do it anyway. Leave your explanations in the shadow and demand your shinning moment.

If you take the ifs out of your vocabulary, as it pertains to your success, and do what ever it is you need to do, despite the circumstance, you will experience more shinning moments in your life and failure will no longer be an option.

To Blog…Nakeia