Don't You Dare Compare

When you compare yourself to others, you limit yourself to their abilities.

Think about it. When you look at another person’s car, house, business, or family in admiration, your mind often shifts into wonder mode. You may wonder what that person does for a living. You may wonder how old he/she is and how long it took him/her to get it. You may even wonder what else that person may possess and what his/her bank account may state. Eventually, your mind will leave wonder mode and shift into why mode. You may ask yourself why don’t I drive a car like that, why is it taking me so long to get what I want, or why don’t I have a lot of money in the bank. Finally, after leaving wonder and why mode, your mind will probably spend the rest of the day in automatic replay mode. You will undoubtedly begin to replay all of the mistakes you have made over the years. You will think of the college you should have attended, the courses you should have taken, the state you should have moved to, and even the guy or girl you should have married.
While in automatic replay mode, you will begin to compare yourself to friends and co-workers, family members and even enemies. If you stay in this mode long enough, you may even visualize yourself living their lives, driving their cars, and spending their money. Your life now looks even worse than you thought.

What if you stop comparing yourself to others and start being inspired by them? What if the car you could buy from the money you made from your new business was a year or two newer than theirs? What if the inspiration you felt from the family you saw led you to create the family of your dreams?

You could be far more successful than the people you secretly envy if you simply stop comparing and start getting inspired.

Start by thinking of one person in or around your life that you have been comparing yourself to. Write down all of the things you admire about them--- their lifestyle and their possessions. Now simply tell yourself that you can have that…AND MORE. The AND MORE insert is very important because your talents, gifts, and vision may extend far beyond the other person’s reach.

Once you have you list, I want you to shift into wonder mode. Become amazed in admiration of what you could achieve, acquire, and reveal about yourself. Next, allow yourself to shift into why mode. Ask yourself why NOT me. There will be no good answer to that question because you CAN have everything you want in life if you doo what it takes to get it. Finally, settle into replay mode. Allow your mind to replay all of your dreams and goals that you have set and visualize yourself achieving them.

Since you were the one who set the limits; you have the ability to remove them. Do it today!

To Blog…Nakeia

Who inspires you? Do you compare yourself to others?

The Word NO

As I prepare to welcome our baby boy into the family, I can’t help but think of my baby girl. She just turned six years old last month, and my husband and I have been replaying her toddler days over and over in our minds. As we reminisce on all of her firsts--- her first smile, her first words, her first steps… we realize that we were in complete awe of her---and still are.

I remember the first time I told her NO. She was grabbing for my favorite earrings so I grabbed her hand and said NO. She looked at me as if I had two heads, and then went for the earrings again. That grab match went on for a few more seconds until I handed her one of her favorite toys to distract her from the lure of my favorite earrings.

Six years later, my baby girl still looks at me as if I have two heads when I tell her NO. I don’t know about you, but I do not like hearing the word NO either. When I make a request, I expect it to be granted. But as an adult, I realize that hearing the word NO has taught me much more than always hearing YES could have.

Joyce Spizer says something like… NO is a word you encounter on your path to YES.

Now when I first heard that phrase I thought to myself…what’s that suppose to mean. Then, after years of being an entrepreneur, I realized that life doesn’t have to end at NO. That is when the phrase… No is a word you encounter on your path to YES, started to make perfect sense to me. I have heard the word NO many times, but those NO’s made the one Yes I needed mean that much more. Hearing the word NO taught me patience, perseverance, and diligence. It has even forced me to miss a good opportunity only to stumble upon a great one.

I am somewhat of a realist. So, I understand that hearing the word NO is not a pleasant experience. There have been times when hearing a music executive say NO to a song I have poured my heart in soul into made me feel like a baby girl, hearing NO for the first time. And I sat there staring at that person as if he had two heads, I felt like storming out in tears. But instead, I just played another song and sometimes yet another, until I heard the word YES.

Patience, perseverance, and diligence are characteristics that you will never learn from always hearing YES. And if you have plans of being successful at anything, you are going to need them. However unpleasant the word NO can be, I want you to remember that life doesn’t have to end with that NO. All you need is one YES; and you will only hear it if you don’t give up!

To Blog…Nakeia

Do you just give up when someone tells you NO? What has hearing the word NO taught you?

Waiting On Perfect

You can plan it.

You can meet on it.

You can talk about it.

You can blog about it.

But...it will not get done until you do it.

This is not just a fact but it is a principle that I know ALL successful people come to realize early on.

There will never be the perfect time, perfect place, or perfect circumstance. When you really think about it, there always seems to be something that could be better.

You have a choice. You can sit, plan, prepare, research, and wait on perfect...or you can just start. You can start your book, start your blog, start your cupcake business, or start your marketing firm and watch your wonderful self create perfection right before your very own eyes.

Waiting on perfect will get you no where, but starting certainly will.

To Blog...Nakeia

Do you believe perfect exists? What could you start today?

Busy Being Productive...

No matter who I talk to---no matter what day of the week it is--- I always hear the busy complaint. I hear:

I am so busy. I just don’t know what to do with myself.

I am so tired. There’s just not enough time in the day.

I can’t wait until the weekend so I can just relax!

No matter the specific complaint, there is one underlying theme that I hear flowing through the actual words. That theme is---I am busy not being productive.

I have been working with a client as well as my husband on the issue of productivity this week and I couldn’t help but remember some of my older posts on the subject. You can find those posts here, here, and here.

If you have been busy, then it is safe to say that you have been occupied, full of bustle, not free, active, and not available for use. All of those things would be great if they were followed by some sort of intentional results.

If you have been productive, then it is safe to say that you have been yielding something, creating something, causing something, or presenting something. In the case of being productive, an intentional action was followed by an intentional result.

Besides trying out some of the tips you read in the older posts linked above, before you begin an activity, ask yourself if that action will yield, create, cause, or present the intentional result you desire.

To Blog…Nakeia


Have you experienced a productive week so far? Do you spend your days being busy or productive? What tip could you implement today that will allow you to experience a more productive life?

Birthdays and Jump Starts

I was having a belated birthday lunch (Happy Birthday to Me!) with two of my friends yesterday, when I heard a question that I have heard so many times before. One of my friends asked does anyone know of a way that I can lose 10lbs fast. She is actually in a wedding that will take place in 2weeks and just wanted to get rid of a little extra weight gained by over indulging for the past few months.

I have also heard that weight loss question asked in this form:

Does anyone know how I can loose 10 lbs fast? I just need a jump start to my diet and loosing that 10lbs will get me motivated to do more…

I am sure you have either heard or asked the weight loss question in some form or another yourselves. Of course you know I have heard it. Well, I have also said it many times. And every time I say it or hear it I can’t help but think of the time I heard it or said it before.

We set many goals, from weight loss goals to weight gain goals. We set goals in the beginning, middle, and end of every year. Some of us see results and some of don’t, but in true human form most of us try and try again. For those who are tired of trying, a Jump Start Goal may be exactly what you need. I am talking about the kind of goal that, when achieved, will jump start your entire life.

I am sure that you a have a descent track record of fulfilling your goal to loose a few pounds, read more books, or watch less television and I can see how those things can be good improvements. But I want you to look at how those things could really jump start your life. Maybe you need to set a Jump Start Goal to loose more than a few pounds. Maybe you need to loose the 15lbs that will add 5 years to your life. Maybe you need to do more than just read more books. Perhaps you need to enroll in a course that will put you in a better position to receive that promotion at work. Finally, maybe you need to cut out television entirely for a few months or more and use the money you would have spent on cable to invest in the business you have always wanted to start. You could spend the time you would normally devote to television creating a business plan.

I want you to join me in thinking of ways that you could radically change your life. Think of major goals that could jump start your personal and professional life. It’s good to make small and steady strides but sometimes we need a leap that will get us closer to the life we want faster and with less effort. The minor changes you have been experiencing in your life are good, but a major change that could really give you the boost you need would be even better!

To Blog…Nakeia

What major goal could you set today that would radically jump start your life? What type of improvements would you begin to see if you fulfilled that goal?

Who's Keeping Score?

Normally when someone speaks of keeping score in life it has a negative connotation. Of course, it really only seems negative to the person on the loosing side of the board. Outside of a competitive setting, keeping score is a really great success tool.

This year I have gone into serious personal score keeping mode. One of my personal and professional goals has been to rid myself of any form of insanity, in every aspect o my life. In an older blog I wrote about this working definition of insanity:

… Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

In other words there were some behaviors, plans, and other habits that I had grown accustom to repeating even though they weren’t giving me the results I desired. I repeated those actions because they were familiar, comfortable, and quite honestly they didn’t require much thought; and I did this for years before admitting, to myself, the level of insanity required to do it. Insane---right?!

Well I’m healed! Insanity has left the building! I have been implementing new behaviors, plans, and habits and to ensure that insanity does not creep back into my life. I have been keeping score. I keep score of what works for me and what doesn’t. Of course if it doesn’t work…it’s gotta go!

Here is how keeping score can wok for you. Make a list of your immediate goals. Next to each goal, write down the action(s) you have taken toward completing it. If you were successful at it, write down the word HIT beside the action. If the action did not work for you, write down he word MISS. To ensure that you do not board the insane train, replace the actions that didn’t work with results driven actions; and only repeat an action if it actually helped you to achieve the things you desired. If you want to achieve the level of success you desire, you must learn to develop winning ways! Knowing what works for you and what doesn’t, and developing strategies to combat the MISSES and increase your HITS will give you the score you need to succeed.

To Blog…Nakeia

Do you keep score in your life? How many HITS and MISSES have you accumulated this week? How will you improve your score?

The Banana Colored Car

I don’t get embarrassed easily. But growing up there was one thing that would almost embarrass me, and that was my family’s banana colored car. Before there was the Facebook I am here applications and Twitter updates, there was the banana colored car that would update the whole town on my exact location. I mean really…you couldn’t miss it! That car was painted the worst possible color for a car, not mention the fact that it was almost as old as my grand-mom. BUT…it got me to where I needed to be---when I needed to be there.

I thought about that car today as I was doing my mission assessment. In December of 2010, I finalized most of my plans for 2011. I hit 2011 running steadily toward my mission to create a life and business that would empower everyone I came into contact with to use their God-given power to create the life they desire. Along the way I have had some unexpected challenges. However, I am exactly where I need to be---at the exact time I need to be here. I thought that all of my strategic planning, intentional living, and motivational thinking would get me to where I am today. I was only half- way right. The unexpected challenges--- the things that have brought me to the point of embarrassment---the things that gave everyone around me an update on exactly where I am in my personal and professional life--- have also been agents of success. Those challenges have forced me to commit more time to my business in order to get things done. Those embarrassing moments have forced me to come up with more creative ways to get the results I desire in my personal life.

One of the most important principles that you could ever learn and apply is this:

Every bad, unexpected, embarrassing, challenging, or unfortunate thing that happens to you has within it the seed of something good.

Some people are motivated to do good (I know this should say well, but good makes my point better), because of something bad. For example the most recent Tsunami in Japan motivated many people to give money that they would have more than likely kept for themselves.
Reflecting on the embarrassing banana colored car reminded me that I am strong enough to go through even the most embarrassing moments in life, just to get to where I need to be---when I need to be there.

To Blog…Nakeia

When was the last time you felt embarrassed? How did you handle it? What are you willing to go through to get to where you need to be?