Mirror, Mirror...

I could have been….
I should have been…
I would have been…
I use to be…

Those words begin the statement of someone who is living in the past, ignoring her present, and afraid of her future…

For four years I used those words. I was unhappy, uncertain, and insecure about my future. I had made some decision that I couldn’t live with at the time, so all I could do is reminisce about the past. I was stuck in the days of old…the days when I was young and fearless…the days when I knew exactly what I wanted and how I was going to get it…the days when things seemed easier and my responsibilities were lighter. I kept telling myself that I didn’t know who I was anymore. Quite honestly, other people begin to tell me I was different. I didn’t dress the same, my hair was different, my priorities had shifted, and I was using words of defeat.

I remember going to the nail salon in my hometown and going up to the technician I had used for years. I said hello and she said hi someone will be right with you. I asked her if she remembered me and she said no. I explained who I was and she said in complete disbelief, oh my God, I didn’t even recognize you…what happened?!. I remember thinking to myself, does makeup really make me look that different…because at the time I was bared faced. Then, the technician cut me off mid-thought. She further explained that my face looked the same, but she didn’t recognize me because I wasn’t dressed and my hair was different. At that moment I realized that my outward appearance was a direct reflection of what I dealing with inwardly. I was a mess from the inside out. I was unrecognizable…

Many things have happened to me between then and now. I tidied up some of the mess I had going on within. I did something with my hair and spruced myself up a bit. Most importantly, I said goodbye to the past, introduced myself to my present, and began to plan my future…

Have you taken a good look at yourself lately? Are you recognizable? What does your outward reflection tell you about what is going on inside?

We have all had those moments. We have looked at our selves and our circumstances and wondered what is really going on. We remember who we used to be and wonder how we went from ThaT to ThiS. Your circumstances, appearance, thoughts, and words reveal who you really are. As you look at yourself today, look past the superficial and see what your internal self is trying to tell you.

To Blog…Nakeia