Tips Week Day 5

If I gave you the assignment of writing down all of the things that you do not like about yourself, you would complete it effortlessly. You have spent years committing the act of verbal abuse against yourself. You have hated your nose since you were 10. You started speaking ill of your thighs after college. You think your smile isn’t bad, but just wish your teeth were whiter. You like the length of your hair but you wish that it was thicker…

Those kinds of comments are common among women, but men, you have issues too. You think that being a few inches taller would have given you a better edge in high school. You work out really hard at the gym because you think that you can get just as buff as the next guy; but what you are really telling yourself is that the way you look right now isn’t good enough. Or, how many times have you looked in the mirror dreading the day that you expect to go bald like your father…

Tip # 5
Show YOURSELF some love. Stop the verbal abuse. The things that you hate about your appearance and your life can always be change. We live in a world that has created a gadget, pill, cream, or surgery that has promised to cure everything that ails you. If you think that you are too short that can be fixed as well. Doctors can break some bones in your legs and reattach them in a way that could add inches to your height.

Here is the truth. Your body is a shell. It acts a shield or covering to preserve the things that matter the most---like you spirit, character, and heart. Learn to love who you are on the inside so that those things can give you the strength and the will to improve, reinvent, and appreciate the things that you see on the outside.

To Blog...Nakeia

Tips Week Day 4

For years I hated baking. HATED IT! So imagine how grateful I was to marry a man that could bake. I just put in my requests and stay out of his way. He bakes delicious cakes, cookies, and even candies. One day I saw him whip up one of cakes that my grandmother is famous for and I was amazed! It looked good, tasted even better, and it only took him 30 minutes to get it in the oven...

Speaking of my granny, she is the reason why I hate baking. She is a great cook and baker, but there is a method to her culinary genius and if you were going to cook with her, you HAD to learn that method. As a child, I didn’t want to learn a method. I just wanted to stir up some stuff and lick the spoon. But granny had other plans for me. When it was time to bake some cakes, she would wake me up early in the morning. We would measure, and sift, mix and stir---for hours. And the stirring is what really got me. According to the method, I had to stir 20 times to the right and then 20 times to the left. Really----20 times, and she would know if I only stirred 19. It seemed like she was just being extra to me, but she swore by her method and the proof was in the pudding (Pun intended---she makes the best banana pudding). If that is what she needed to do to make her cakes taste so great, I said whatever works. But I certainly wasn’t going to be the one doing all that work. So after years of baking according to granny’s method, I gave it up. I turned in my apron and left the baking to the experts.

...Okay, back to my husband’s baking skills. The day that I saw him whip up my granny’s famous pound cake in about 30 minutes, my whole life changed. When I saw him put it in the oven, I told him I think skipped some steps. He said he didn’t. But I wasn’t convinced. How did he get the same cake that took me and granny all morning to measure, sift, mix and stir---into the oven in only 30 minutes? The proof was in the first bite. It was great---almost better than granny’s---almost. We talked about it briefly and I told him all of the things that granny and I did to make than same cake. He said; all of that isn’t even necessary….

Tip # 4
Do what is necessary. You have developed certain methods over the years. From your morning wake-up routine, to the route you take to drive work---you do things a certain way. But is it all necessary? Sometimes it is possible to get lost in the method. Some things just aren’t necessary and it stalls your productivity. If you have been having a difficult time in keeping up with your deadlines and fulfilling your daily responsibilities, this tip can help.

Re-evaluate your method and see if you can eliminate some steps. There may be a way for you to get the same quality of work, with the least amount of effort. There may be a way that is just as efficient and less intensive. Discovering these new methods may free up some time that you could spend creating other opportunities.

Implementing Tip # 4 is easy. When you see that it taking you quite a bit of time to complete one task, ask yourself if all of the steps you are taking to do it are necessary.

To Blog…Nakeia

Tips Week Day 3

I have come to realize that everything is not going to always go according to plan. No matter how much time you put into researching and planning, things happen. This is especially true for entrepreneurs. When you provide a service, the success of your business is dependant upon the skillful execution of your well thought out business plan. However there are times when your must do list exceeds the amount of hours in a day. For those who are employed by someone else, I am sure that you can relate to that as well. On top of your obligations at work, there is still the house, kids, and spouse to attend to.

As I said in Tip #1, I like to plan my life by the week. That works for me because I am able to assign my many responsibilities to a specific day and not get overwhelmed by what needs to be done before the week is over. Even though, by Sunday evening, I know what I will be doing everyday for the next 7 days, during the week new responsibilities are presented. For instance, a potential client will call and I may have to stop what I am doing and put together a proposal. Here is where today’s tip comes into play.

Tip #3
Pick up where you left off. Don’t stress over the things that you didn’t get done today. Put in on tomorrow’s list. In fact, I leave my Friday mornings free just for catching up. Whatever I don’t get through during the course of the week, I move it to Friday morning and pick up right where I left off. The best thing that you can do to remain productive is not to get overwhelmed. Things happen. Sometimes even the best plans need to be altered. Just learn to work with the plan and not against it.

To Blog…Nakeia

Tips Week Day 2

So she wakes up feeling like she’s  just gone to sleep. She hits the snooze button leaving just enough time to shower, dress, and head out of the door. She sits in traffic complaining about how long it takes her to get to work. Speaking of work, she hates her job, her boss, and her co- workers. She gets to work and already she is counting the minutes until lunch. She does just enough work not to get fired, but not enough work to get that promotion. Finally, its lunch time and she spends it gossiping with the co-worker she hates, about the other co-workers she hates. Lunch is over and she spends the rest of her work day avoiding the boss she hates and counting down the minutes until she can go home. Her work day is over and she makes a mad dash to the door. As she sits in rush hour traffic, she thinks about all of the things she wants to do when she gets home. It takes her two hours to get home. She gets home tired, because after all, she has had a long day. She makes dinner, watches television until she can barely keep her eyes open, goes to sleep, and wakes up just to do the same thing all over again…

Does any of this sound familiar? What if we changed the she to a he and replaced gossiping with surfing the internet during the lunch hour? Or--- what if we threw a few kids and a wife or husband in the mix? This kind of daily routine is typical of people who are not clear and not focused. In fact, the she in the story above could easily describe me eight years ago.

Tip #2
Focus your efforts. Learning to focus your efforts toward specific objectives will increase your productivity, enhance your potential, and provide a space for new opportunities to enter into your life.

Here is a way you can focus your efforts. Divide your day into these 3 phases:

PreparationWake up at least 30 minutes earlier each day. (Exercise, meditate, and welcome possible opportunities.)
Spend at least 2 minutes saying what you are grateful for. (I am grateful for my life.)
Create a list of daily affirmations. State your intentions for the day. (Today will go as I have planned.)
Use your daily commute for personal development. (Listen to a book on CD.)

ProductionStick to the plan. (Review Tip #1)
Avoid distractions. (Stay away from gossip and social networking at work.)
Conduct mid-day assessments. (Keep track of your progress.)
Increase your efficiency. (Make sure your way is the best way and utilize all of your resources.)

RecreationRefresh your mind. (Listen to your favorite band, read a book, indulge in a hobby.)
Refresh your spirit. (Reflect on your daily accomplishments, meditate, pray.)
Refresh your body. (Take a walk, stretch, and spend time relaxing.)
Spend time in personal development. (Designate at least one hour to work on personal goals.)

Focusing your efforts by implementing this type of routine will help you go from just being busy to productive and from just getting by to enjoying every moment of your life.

To Blog…Nakeia

Tips Week!

As I begin to revamp one of my businesses and prepare to launch another, I have had a hard time keeping up with everything. If you follow my blog regularly, you already know how many hats I wear. As a full-time wife, mom, writer, and business manager, maintaining a consistent level of productivity is extremely important to me. I understand that if I am productive, I will abundantly and efficiently experience a desired life. However, sometimes I find myself just doing whatever to keep up. In business being productive boils down to economics. When I am productive, my business is productive---that is ---my business is producing goods and services of exchangeable value. In other words if I am productive, I will get paid. It is also important to maintain productivity in my personal life as well. I should be producing satisfactory and useful results among my family, in the area of my health, and concerning my personal desires.

I know I am not alone. I have had this conversation with friends and colleagues who all have the same concerns. For me, the past few months had been very busy. I had been running errands, on the phone, on the computer, cooking and cleaning, and one morning as I prepared to start my day, I sat in front of my computer trying to find one that I had produced---one thing that was of exchangeable value---one thing that was abundant and efficient. There was nothing. No-thing!

So I went back into my archives and pulled out my list of strategies for maintaining a productive life. I felt it was time that I got a handle on things and started practicing what I preach. Now that I am back on track, I have decided to dedicate this week to sharing my strategies with you. Everyday, I will be sharing a small tip that will make a big impact on your week.

Tip #1:
Plan ahead. You can either plan your day the day before, or plan your days a week ahead. I personally create weekly plans. Your plan or system for achieving productivity should be detailed and results driven. You should use phrases like:

Today I will email my new proposal to 5 potential clients between the hours of 9am and 11am

Or

Today I will read 1 chapter in my new book between 7am and 8pm

If you commit to implementing the first tip for one week you will get more done with less effort. You will also feel like more hours have been added to your day because instead of being busy or occupied, you will be more efficient.

To Blog…Nakeia

This is My Confession...

Liar, liar pants on fire!
You can’t handle the truth!
There’s nothing wrong with a little white lie.
The truth hurts.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.
Confession is good for the soul.

Why do people lie---really?

...Most of the time the truth ends up coming out anyway. At least that has always been the case for me. I would be lying if I said that I don’t lie. Like when there is a lightning storm and my daughter asks me if I am scared. I always say no but the truth is I am terrified of lightning storms. Of course I can’t tell her that because that would scare her. Or---and this is a bad one---like the time I told my grand-mom that a cart hit her brand new car. The truth is a backed into a pole because I wasn’t paying attention to my driving. She still doesn’t know the truth. So it is a good thing that she refuses to use the internet! That was thirteen years ago so please don’t judge me…

The kinds of lies that have always amazed me are the ones we tell to ourselves. How can you lie to yourself---you were there, you were the one who experienced it, you were the one who did it---you know the truth! As crazy as it sounds, we do it all the time. We say that we were busy, when the truth is we were procrastinating. We say we are too tired, when the truth is we are lazy. We say we want to change, when the truth is we are comfortable with things staying the same.

The truth may hurt sometimes, especially the ones we have to face about ourselves. But the hurt will be overshadowed by your new found freedom. Sometimes the truth will be so hard to handle you will feel like your whole world is on fire and not just your pants (I just had to throw that in there). Little white lies you tell yourself keep you detached from reality and you will spend the rest of your life dreaming about what you want to have instead of experiencing it.

Confession is truly good for your soul. I feel much better now that I have told the truth about what I did to my grand-mom’s car. I don’t know if I will tell her yet, but this is about being truthful with ourselves anyway---right? Yeah, that’s it…

Make today National Tell the Truth to Myself Day! Be honest with the one who matters the most---be honest with you. If you have been feeling stuck or like something has been holding you back, it is probably because the lies you have been telling yourself are preventing you from moving forward. Face the truth and be free.

To Blog…Nakeia

Note to Self...

Think about the person that you spend most of your time with---the person that you communicate the most---the person that you share your dreams and aspirations with.

Now most of you have in your mind your spouse or best friend. Some of you have considered a sibling or favorite cousin---but the person that I am referring to is you.

You spend most of your time with yourself. You communicate with yourself more than you communicate to anyone else. That communication takes place in your thoughts, personal journals, dreams, and lets be real, some of us literally talk to ourselves---out loud.

It has been reported that 87% of self-communication is negative.

I want you to learn to engage in positive self-communication. Starting today, I want you to communicate, out loud, 5 positive statements to yourself. You can write them down and read them aloud. You can speak them out loud in the car on the way to work. You can look at yourself in the mirror and say them every morning. However, you feel comfortable doing is okay by me, so long as you begin today.

You can only reach your fullest potential if you identify your strengths and remind yourself of them daily.

To Blog...Nakeia

Purpose Is As Purpose Does...

I was watching the local news yesterday, which is not something that I do often. Anyway, they featured a local obstetrician who was over 90 years old. His story was significant because he had single handedly delivered around 15,000 babies. His deliveries span across generations. He delivered entire families in some instances. The story featured daughters, mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers that were all delivered by this one amazing doctor.

He had a family of his own. He and his wife were parents of five children. When he met his wife, decades ago, he told her that the woman he married would need to understand that she would come third in his life. His life was centered by God, his patients, and his family (in that order). Amazingly enough, his wife was okay with that. She even bragged about how good a husband and father he has been. I am not to sure about how I would feel if I was third in my husband’s life, but I digress.

That doctor was fully aware of his purpose and has spent his life fulfilling it. What struck me most about this news story is the fact that the doctor’s life wasn’t that amazing to him. In his mind, delivering 15,000 babies was simply the result of him doing what he has always wanted to do. And that was just to be a good doctor.

Some of you have been wasting valuable time trying to discover some mystical, larger than life---divine purpose. When all a long, your reason for existence, desired effect, or purpose in life is simply to be the very best that you can be. As a result of just simply fulfilling that (being your very best), the larger than life---divine things will reveal themselves to you.

Start with what you know, what you are good at, and what you can begin to actively do right now if you really want to discover your purpose.

To Blog…Nakeia

What Do You Want---Really?

What do you want?

I have asked that question of myself and of others many, many, many times. It never gets old because it never gets answered---fully that is. On the surface we all have an idea of what we want. The ideas present themselves in many forms. We say we want to be happy, rich, successful, married, single, thin, healthy, secure, enlightened (whatever that means), and on---and on. Those are what I call surface answers. Those answers will point you in the direction of what you want but not really fulfill the job of getting you there.

In addition, a large number of people who know what they want---or have an idea of it at least---do not engage themselves in the things or more specifically, actions that they need to do daily to get what they want. For example, you may say that you want to be happy. Yet, you surround yourself with a group of unhappy friends, you’ve been in the same unhappy relationship for 3 years, and you are unhappy with the fact that you never finished college. Everything about you right now is un-something. How do you reconcile your daily life choices with your desire to be happy?

Today, I want you to think about the things that you say you want. Consider the house you want. The body you want. The wife you want. The husband you want. The career you want---the life that you have always dreamed of living. Now answer this question. What intentional decisions and actions have you taken, today, to get yourself closer to experiencing the things you want? In order to answer this question, you must get past the surface answers and straight to the core. You must also take an inventory of your daily activities, environment, friends, etc.

Doing what you need to do will ensure that you able to also do what you want to do.

To Blog…Nakeia

100 Words For My 100th Post

I did something that I haven’t done in a long time---something that I use to do daily---something that I envy children for being able to do---something that I practically have to bribe my 5 year old to do. I took a nap! Don’t judge me.

You may be wondering how can someone whose daily responsibilities include managing a business, home- schooling a child, writing, blogging, and house keeping fit in a nap. Well--- it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it!

Sometimes the hardest things to do in life are also the simplest.

Try it…

To Blog…Nakeia

How's That Working for You?

We've all heard the idiom: if it aint broke, don't fix it.

That idiom essentially means it is a mistake to try to improve something that works.

I will admitt to jackin a line from the good ole' doctor, Dr Phil. Whenever someone continues to rally around a series of behaviors that everyone around them can see are mistakes, Dr. Phil asks this question: How is that working for you? I know---I know. Many people think Dr. Phil has given psychologists a bad name. But say what you will, that line works every time!

I use that line almost everyday of my life. I get phone calls, emails, text message, and even letters in the mail (yes---people still mail letters) from people who tell me why they engage in behaviors that even Stevie Wonder can see ISN'T WORKING. Yes--- it is a mistake to try and improve upon somethinng that is working very well for you. But it is an even bigger mistake to hold on to something that is broken with the hope that some how---some way, it will magically improve its self.

More to the point---look around you. Look at your job, your spouse, your friends, your thoughts, your words, and your actions. I got one question for you. How is that working for you?!.

To Blog...Nakeia

Monkey in the Middle

Between where you are and where you want to be is everything you need to get there and stay there.

I use that phrase often. That is actually the biggest lesson I have learned thus far.

I use to say things like: I know what I want and I don’t know how I am going to get it, but I will get it! That sounds like the words of a very determined woman, and I was and still am. But what I was really saying is: I want something but don’t have a clear understanding of why I want it and I am not going to take the time to design and intentional plan to acquire it. I will do something---anything---to get it! I rarley got it, and would just end up frustarted. That mindset didn’t get me very far to say the least.

My daughter came to me in frustration the other day. She was upset over a game of Monkey in the Middle. She was playing with her two cousins who decided that she should be in the middle first. My daughter had never played before so she just ran from person to person trying to tackle the ball out of their hands. She didn’t understand that there was a process to getting out of the middle. If I remember correctly, the object of the game, for the one (monkey) who is in the middle, is to catch the ball to get out of the middle. Once that person is out of the middle, he/she must throw the ball over or around the newest monkey in the middle in order to prevent another trip to the middle themselves. That is how I explained it to my daughter before encouraging her to give the game another shot.

A process is a series of actions directed toward a specific aim. It is also a series of natural occurrences that produce a change or development (can’t remember where I found those definitions to cite it). Understanding the process you must go through to get to your desired life will prevent you from being frustrated. Your frustration will leave because your process will direct you toward actions that are deliberate and intentional. You will no longer feel trapped in the middle of your journey, like a monkey, trying to tackle your way out. Once you embrace and understand your process you will develop an action plan that will get you where you need to be. In addition to your action plan, you will begin to positive changes and measurable development in specific areas of your life. You will learn lessons and develop formulas that will set you up for a series of future successes.

I don’t know where you are on your journey to success, happiness, and peace, but I guarantee that if you embrace the process and allow it to direct you, you will discover that are exactly where you need to be right now.

To Blog…Nakeia

Mirror, Mirror...

I could have been….
I should have been…
I would have been…
I use to be…

Those words begin the statement of someone who is living in the past, ignoring her present, and afraid of her future…

For four years I used those words. I was unhappy, uncertain, and insecure about my future. I had made some decision that I couldn’t live with at the time, so all I could do is reminisce about the past. I was stuck in the days of old…the days when I was young and fearless…the days when I knew exactly what I wanted and how I was going to get it…the days when things seemed easier and my responsibilities were lighter. I kept telling myself that I didn’t know who I was anymore. Quite honestly, other people begin to tell me I was different. I didn’t dress the same, my hair was different, my priorities had shifted, and I was using words of defeat.

I remember going to the nail salon in my hometown and going up to the technician I had used for years. I said hello and she said hi someone will be right with you. I asked her if she remembered me and she said no. I explained who I was and she said in complete disbelief, oh my God, I didn’t even recognize you…what happened?!. I remember thinking to myself, does makeup really make me look that different…because at the time I was bared faced. Then, the technician cut me off mid-thought. She further explained that my face looked the same, but she didn’t recognize me because I wasn’t dressed and my hair was different. At that moment I realized that my outward appearance was a direct reflection of what I dealing with inwardly. I was a mess from the inside out. I was unrecognizable…

Many things have happened to me between then and now. I tidied up some of the mess I had going on within. I did something with my hair and spruced myself up a bit. Most importantly, I said goodbye to the past, introduced myself to my present, and began to plan my future…

Have you taken a good look at yourself lately? Are you recognizable? What does your outward reflection tell you about what is going on inside?

We have all had those moments. We have looked at our selves and our circumstances and wondered what is really going on. We remember who we used to be and wonder how we went from ThaT to ThiS. Your circumstances, appearance, thoughts, and words reveal who you really are. As you look at yourself today, look past the superficial and see what your internal self is trying to tell you.

To Blog…Nakeia

Dreams, Shoes, and Reality...

There is nothing like a good dream. You know the kind of dream that seems so real, that you don’t even know you are dreaming until you wake up. I dream of movie ideas, song lyrics and melodies, and I even relive past events or foresee future events in my dreams. My husband thinks that I am crazy. Well, he always thinks I am crazy for some reason or another, but specifically, when it comes to dreams, he really thinks I’m crazy.

Here’s a dream confession. Sometimes I dream that my husband has done something to make me angry and I actually wake up with an attitude. Like the time I dreamt I’d just purchased a brand new pair of Jimmy Choo shoes. I wore the shoes to an exclusive event that I was asked to emcee. As I walked on to the stage, I tripped and my heel broke! What happened next is what angered me. I looked over to the table where my husband was seated, and there he was, laughing at me. Laughing! I woke up very angry at him that day because anyone who knows my husband will tell you that if that had happened in real life, he would be sitting at the table laughing!

Here is another dream confession. When I get a new idea or goal, I make myself to dream about it so that I can get a visual glimpse or vision of that idea. I doubt if any science will back up my claim, but it’s true. I can make myself dream of something by thinking about it intently just before I go to bed. Really! It works every time.

A dream is a sequence of images that appear involuntarily to the mind during sleep. Those images can be a mixture of real and imaginary characters, places, and events. Conversely, a dream can also be something that is hoped for and a hope is a confident desire. Most often, this type of dream is something that is far removed from present circumstances. This type of dream is also found in the heart of someone ambitious, hopeful, and fearless.

Today, I have a message the dreamers. Specifically, the people who can see their goals, plans, and purpose in the form of a vision while a sleep and awake, can feel their purpose as it pulses in their heart, and are ready to see those dreams become reality. Keep dreaming! I know, that’s not exactly the message you were look for; but it’s the message you need. When you let go of your dream or idea of a likelihood of success, you ultimately forfeit your chance for something desirable to happen in your life.

James Allen says that dreams are the seedlings of realities. In other words, dreams are small developing images of your future reality. I say dream until what you see in your sleep and feel in your heart is realized in your life.

To Blog…Nakeia

The Story of Your Life

Everyone has a story. Celebrities live out their stories with coverage from the media. Wanna be celebrities live out their somewhat scripted stories on reality television. Then, there is us, real life people with real life stories. There are stories of victory and of failure, stories of love and of love lost, stories filled with moments of pride and stories of regret, but no matter the details, everyone has a story of their life.

My story begins with two teenagers who have no business being together. They hung out long enough for me to be conceived, but not long enough to see me born as a couple. Those facts are the only thing that everyone can agree on. From birth to about 8 or 9 years old, there are at least 10 versions of my life, depending upon who you ask. Although the beginning of life is a bit sketchy, what happened at the age of 10 changed the course of life as I knew it. At 10 years I realized something that some adults have yet to grasp. I saw everything around me, knew I wanted to change it, and realized that I could do just that. I could change my life. I could write my own life’s story.

There are some things in life that are written for you and characters that can’t be changed. You can not choose your parents or script your own childhood. Believe me, I have tried. No matter how many times I wished upon a star, my dad never turned into Dr. Huxtable. Here is the good news. The story of your life is not over. There are pages that haven’t been turned. Here is more good news. As an adult, you can write the story you choose. You can create your own story line. You can decide on the characters. You can live the life you choose.

On July 31st at Sperata on the Square in Lawrenceville Georgia, I will be sharing more of my story. I will also be sharing principals that have helped me re-write my own story line. Those same principals can be used to connect you to the power to create an intentional story of your own.

For more information, please click on this link:
http://lunchandlearnwithnakeiachomer-efbevent.eventbrite.com/

To Blog…Nakeia

Better Late Than Never!

I came across a pretty interesting documentary on television last night. It profiled four women who were all over the age of 50 when they gave birth to children. Two of the women were already mothers and the other two women had never experienced the joy of motherhood. In fact one of the women had previously given birth to 10 children! She decided to give it another try when she married for third time. Not only did she try, but she succeeded, twice! She said that she wanted her new husband, who had no children his own, to experience fatherhood.

Although the oldest woman profiled was over 70 years old when she gave birth (I know what you are thinking…), the woman who stood out to me the most was in her 60’s. Let’s call her Sue because I don’t remember her name. Sue had spent all of her adult life caring for her sick and aging parents. First, she helped her mother care for her father. She made a promise to her father on his death bed that she would also care for her mother. Shortly after her father’s death, her mother became ill. Sue kept the promise she made to her father and cared for her mother to the end. When her mother died, Sue was in her 40’s and was just beginning to start her life. She met a man and married and soon realized that she may have waited to long to attempt to start a family. Then in her 50’s, Sue began her quest to motherhood with the assistance of IVF, or In Vitro Fertilization (just like all f the other women in the documentary). Sue gave birth to a baby girl just before turning 60 and during the show; she was actually trying to find a doctor that would assist her in giving birth one more time.

The reason Sue stood out to me is because she is just like many of us. We spend most of our lives being busy. Busy working at jobs we hate, being afraid to pursue our dreams, putting others before us, and watching, from the sidelines, as others realize their dreams. Then, one day we realize that while we were busy being busy, life has gone on without us.

Today, I want you to know that it is not too late! You still have time to do what is in your heart to do. Life happens whether you decide to participate or not. Take an active role in life. Start by getting out your pen and paper and writing down all of the things that you intend to do before you die. Of those things, decide which can be done before you turn 50. If you are 50 and over, decide which can be done within the next ten years. Once you have made your decision, begin to design an intentional plan that will allow you to fulfill those goals. Look at it like this, if a 70 year woman can give birth, you can certainly write a book, score a film, or open a restaurant. You are the only thing standing in your way.

I started a new list of my own. The first thing I wrote down was to run in a marathon. What's is the first thing on your list?

To Blog…Nakeia

Cartoons Are For Adults Too!

Franklin has become my new favorite cartoon. Yes. I said cartoon. As you already know, I have a beautiful, bright, witty, amusing, sociable, and impressionable 5 year old daughter. My husband and I hand pick the programming she is allowed to watch on television and Franklin is on the top of the list. Basically, the show begins with Franklin a talking, life-size turtle, doing the things that typical toddlers do. He has a hard time sharing with friends. He gets over competitive at school and with sports. He gets angry with his little sister. He is a picky eater…you know, kid stuff. By the end of each show he realizes that there are consequences for his actions. His friends ignore him. He gets punished for being mean to his sister. He gets singled out at school. Yet in the end, he is grateful for the lessons he has learned along the way. He also promises never to repeat those actions again and shares those lessons with his friends.

Side bar: Franklin isn’t the only talking animal on the show, but he is the only one with a name. That fact is so funny to me. Franklin is a must see!

Ok, I’m back…

I was reminded of Franklin during a conversation I had yesterday. I was talking to someone who was feeling as if life was being too hard on him. He admits that he has made some mistakes along the way, but insists that at this stage in his life, he is doing everything right. Of course, I asked him if he has learned from his mistakes. He said yes. So, I asked him to share the lessons with me. Aside from saying he would never do those things again, he had no clear answer for me.

I believe that nothing that has happened in my life has been for naught. Every circumstance, those that I have created and those that were out of my control, has occurred to teach me something that will add value to my life or to the lives of those who will read my blog, listen to me speak, or sing the songs that I write. I have made many mistakes. I have endured difficult circumstances. I have also worked diligently at a plan that has failed and I have often given more than I have received on many occasions. And just like my friend, I have felt like life was being way too hard on me…even now…that I am doing everything that I know to do to create the life I know I deserve, I find myself asking life to cut me some slack. Then, just like Franklin I realize that there consequences for every action. Even the ones I feel I have been forced to take.

While you are considering your current circumstance, consider the lesson it is meant to teach you. If you are having difficulty running your own business, consider the lessons you may have missed when you were an employee. If you have having difficulty with a friend, consider the lessons you may have missed from friends you have lost. There is always more to learn and further to develop. Just when you think you are doing all you can, do more. We all know that bad things can happen to good people. But consider the idea that those bad things can also make a good person, better.

To Blog…Nakeia

Memory Lane, Old Cars, and You...

Growing up, my grandmother owned the biggest, brightest, and oldest car I had ever seen. Seriously, it had to have been built before I was born and when I say bright, I mean bright yellow! You could see us coming from a mile away! I hated that car! I prayed that she would get rid of it before I was old enough to drive, but apparently God has a sense of humor. It was big. It was boxy, and if I was going anywhere, it was that car that was going to take me. I was in two minor accidents with that car. Both times, the other cars looked like they had been hit by a truck…but not Betsey, which was the name my grandmother gave it. Of course my friends called it names like the Big Banana Boat or Hella Yella.

My grandmother was proud of that car. It was a made in the late 60’s or early 70”s and it was a Ford. It seemed like the longer we kept the car, the better it would drive. It held on until the very end. It didn’t have the normal car issues like the engine or transmission…it just died of old age. Oh, there was one thing. It didn’t have heat. So, in the winter, we would drive around with blankets to shield us from the cold. When Betsey finally died, my grandmother went straight to the Ford dealership to purchase another tuff car. Ford’s slogan up until 2008 was Built Ford Tough. Every time I heard it or read it, I would think of Hella Yella…I mean Betsey because that is definitely the toughest car I have ever seen.

There is a point to this short trip down memory lane. I know you are not a car. I know Ford has changed its slogan…but humor me…Humans were built to withstand the toughest of conditions. Just talk to a holocaust survivor, thriving rape victim, or war hero. We cry over not being able to live in the house we want, not being happy with our jobs, and not being with the love of our lives, when we have the human potential to change the things we don’t want.

Today, my message is simple. Toughen up! You possess the ability to change your life. You may not be made of steel like Ford cars, but you are made of intellect, experience, and human strength. Every test, disappointment, and closed door is there to remind you to utilize those abilities. You may have to endure difficulty. You may need to do some things you don’t want to do. It may take you longer than you had hoped. But, it is doable! Stop underestimating yourself. You are tougher than you think!

To Blog Nakeia

LOL!!!

For the past five days, I have had a house full of people…up to ten to be exact! Beds, sofas, air mattresses, make-shift floor beds, and three bathrooms were shared by 8 girls and two guys (my poor husband). We laughed until we cried, ate until we couldn’t breath, remembered how life used to be, and shared stories of life in motion. We talked about childhood dreams that still need to be realized, and mistakes that we have made as adults that we wish we could forget…

Getting together with family and friends is a must do. With deadlines, bills, carpools, headaches, disappointments, and life as we know it, a good laugh, cause by an embarrassing story from the past, could be just what you need to regroup.

I read somewhere that 15 minutes of gut-busting laughter is equal to 5 minutes of moderate jogging. If that is true, I probably laughed myself into a smaller pair of skinny jeans this past week!

Take some time to laugh as hard as you can…even if you have to laugh at yourself!

To Blog…Nakeia