I have had some troubling sessions this week. Most of the people I consult with are at a point in their lives where they understand that they must change. Most of them are tired of doing the same things and experiencing the same results. Others of them are just tired…they don’t know if they need to change, stay the same, or just give up. Then, this week… I have experienced people that have been so beaten up by life, that they are to afraid to even think that their life could be different.
If you find yourself in any of the categories with the people I have just described, there is one thing that you must know. You must know your worth. This seems like a natural bit of knowledge. But most people don’t understand it. There are certain things that you will not allow to happen to you when you understand your worth. There are certain non-negotiable decisions that you will make when you understand your worth. Giving up, settling and fear is not an option for those that understand their worth.
There is value in you. Your boss pays into that value by offering you a salary for your services. Your spouse pays into that value by offering unconditional love and support as a condition of entering into that relationship…AND you should pay into that value by making consistent personal improvements. You also pay into that value by only surrounding yourself with people, opportunities, and knowledge that are of further value to you. When you allow people to deplete undeserving love, attention and service from you, you diminish your worth.
Today, I want you to know that there is goodness, usefulness, and importance in you. The people you know and love wouldn’t be the same if you were not around. Your place of employment would not being able to function at its fullest capacity if you did not show up for work. You are irreplaceable in the lives of your spouse, children, siblings, and friends. There is no one on earth like you. You are the you that this world will ever have the pleasure of knowing. When you understand those facts…you will understand your worth.
To Blog…Nakeia
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Tired of Waiting
I use to hate waiting. I was the most impatient person I know. If I was on the phone with someone and they ask to me to hold on, I would hang up…immediately (now-a-days…not so immediately). I scheduled meetings around traffic patterns so that I would not be forced to wait in a major car pile-up (I still do). I try to only go to restaurants that allow me to make a reservation so that I don’t have to wait for a table (Ok…I still do this too). I use to get to the movie theater 15 minutes after show time just so that I can avoid waiting for the previews to end so the movie can start(this one, I have overcome)…well, anyway, you get the point…
This is an area of my life that I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. Patience is a virtue that I pray for daily and I am pleased to say that I have developed a simple method to my impatient madness. This is going to blow your mind…here it is…I do something while I am waiting! That’s it! That is my development. I do something while I wait…
For those of you that have been following my blogs, you may remember my Do Something (TM) principal. It is a simple principal that is based, in part, on the fact that doing something will always get you further than doing nothing. By definition, to wait is to stay put or do nothing, for a period of time, while you are expecting something to happen. It also means to look out for something or to be hopeful that something will happen. Finally, to wait could also mean to be ready or available for someone to take or use.
What I find to be quite profound is all of the things that I have been able to accomplish while in my waiting period. I discovered my ability to write and arrange songs, speak in a way that would empower people to change their lives, and learned to apply specialized makeup that enhances a person’s natural beauty, all while waiting to graduate college. Those discoveries led me to start 3 successful businesses. I didn’t set out to do any of those things. I was just using my natural abilities to do something and be a productive college student. Now, years later, I am still at it!
Some of you have been discouraged by your waiting period. Some of you are just like me and have asked the question…will it ever happen for me? Honestly, there are still some major things that I am waiting on. But while I am waiting, I am also doing something…anything that may get me 1 step closer to where I am destined to be.
I encourage you today to do something while in your waiting period. Don’t give up! You will discover new abilities and talents that you possess. New ideas will formulate. New windows of opportunity will present itself. To wait is to expect…and to expect is to receive!
To Blog…Nakeia
This is an area of my life that I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. Patience is a virtue that I pray for daily and I am pleased to say that I have developed a simple method to my impatient madness. This is going to blow your mind…here it is…I do something while I am waiting! That’s it! That is my development. I do something while I wait…
For those of you that have been following my blogs, you may remember my Do Something (TM) principal. It is a simple principal that is based, in part, on the fact that doing something will always get you further than doing nothing. By definition, to wait is to stay put or do nothing, for a period of time, while you are expecting something to happen. It also means to look out for something or to be hopeful that something will happen. Finally, to wait could also mean to be ready or available for someone to take or use.
What I find to be quite profound is all of the things that I have been able to accomplish while in my waiting period. I discovered my ability to write and arrange songs, speak in a way that would empower people to change their lives, and learned to apply specialized makeup that enhances a person’s natural beauty, all while waiting to graduate college. Those discoveries led me to start 3 successful businesses. I didn’t set out to do any of those things. I was just using my natural abilities to do something and be a productive college student. Now, years later, I am still at it!
Some of you have been discouraged by your waiting period. Some of you are just like me and have asked the question…will it ever happen for me? Honestly, there are still some major things that I am waiting on. But while I am waiting, I am also doing something…anything that may get me 1 step closer to where I am destined to be.
I encourage you today to do something while in your waiting period. Don’t give up! You will discover new abilities and talents that you possess. New ideas will formulate. New windows of opportunity will present itself. To wait is to expect…and to expect is to receive!
To Blog…Nakeia
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Profile...Fact or Fiction...
I entered the field of psychology with the intentions of become a criminal profiler. The idea of analyzing, classifying, and studying the behaviors of people is what drives my interest in the science of the mind. During college, I took a job at a transitional home for criminals who were just about done with their prison sentence and re-entering society. Although I worked there for 2 years, it only took me 2 days to realize that I had no desire to be that close to a convicted criminal. As part of my training, I read the file of each of inmates that would be assigned to me. Essential, it was a profile or short account of their criminal history. Of course, when I spoke to the inmates one-on-one, their account of the activities which led them to incarceration was completely different. Some of them told stories of set-ups and conspiracy theories. Others told stories of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Then, there was a small group who faced the consequences of their actions and admitted their wrong doing.
Social media has provided a venue for people to profile themselves. There is a space on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, and even here in the world of blogging for people to give a brief biographical account of their life. On a profile page you might see someone describe themselves as driven or ambitious. There is also a space for a person to list their single or married status. People even go so far as to tell the world what they are doing every moment of the day (a criminal profiler’s dream).
I don’t know about you, but every time I read someone’s profile, I wonder how much of it is true. I wonder if that is who the person really is or who they wish to be. Think about it…how can you be driven and ambitiously working at anything if you are on those sites all day? AND…I can’t recall how many stories I have heard about people lying about their marital status. What interests me most, is the fact that people often see themselves much differently than others see them. If you ask me to describe myself, I would say that I am driven, ambitious, a loving wife and mother, and a woman of clear intentions. But…what would others say about me? Would my husband describe me as loving? Would my sister say that I am driven?
The exercise I want you to complete is not an easy one. You must enlist the assistance of someone that you trust will tell you the truth and that has integrity. I want you to profile yourself. Include a personal and professional description of who you really are. Then, I want you to turn that profile over to the person of your choice and give them the option to agree or disagree with your personal description. If you have been honest with yourself and consistently working toward developing your character, you should have no problem with the answers you receive. If you are committed to your personal and professional development, you will take it a step further, and ask the person assisting you to share their description of you.
To Blog…Nakeia
Social media has provided a venue for people to profile themselves. There is a space on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, and even here in the world of blogging for people to give a brief biographical account of their life. On a profile page you might see someone describe themselves as driven or ambitious. There is also a space for a person to list their single or married status. People even go so far as to tell the world what they are doing every moment of the day (a criminal profiler’s dream).
I don’t know about you, but every time I read someone’s profile, I wonder how much of it is true. I wonder if that is who the person really is or who they wish to be. Think about it…how can you be driven and ambitiously working at anything if you are on those sites all day? AND…I can’t recall how many stories I have heard about people lying about their marital status. What interests me most, is the fact that people often see themselves much differently than others see them. If you ask me to describe myself, I would say that I am driven, ambitious, a loving wife and mother, and a woman of clear intentions. But…what would others say about me? Would my husband describe me as loving? Would my sister say that I am driven?
The exercise I want you to complete is not an easy one. You must enlist the assistance of someone that you trust will tell you the truth and that has integrity. I want you to profile yourself. Include a personal and professional description of who you really are. Then, I want you to turn that profile over to the person of your choice and give them the option to agree or disagree with your personal description. If you have been honest with yourself and consistently working toward developing your character, you should have no problem with the answers you receive. If you are committed to your personal and professional development, you will take it a step further, and ask the person assisting you to share their description of you.
To Blog…Nakeia
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Add Value to Your Business
As part of my professional assessment regimen, I took some time last night to listen to the songs I have written most recently. The purpose of the assessment is to advance as a writer, so I listen to my music with specific criteria in mind. I ask and answer the following questions:
*Does it make sense? Content is very important to me. Every song that I write must be lyrically sound (no pun intended). I like to tell a story that every listener can follow.
*Is it relevant? My songs must connect with the listener on some level. It should have some significance to what is going on their lives.
*Have I evolved? As a writer who intends to have life-long relationship with music, I must consistently develop and advance.
Although this assessment was initially developed for me to improve upon my skills as a song writer, it will benefit anyone desiring improvement. Improvement is essential for those who want to advance or increase in value. If you provide a service or sell a product, you will experience positive results by making consistent improvements. For instance, as a store owner, you should use the first question to ensure that you have the highest quality in products. Question two should be used to ensure that there is a demand the products you provide. The last question will ensure that your business is a lastly one.
It only takes a few minutes to answer these three questions. Take some time today to add value to your business by performing your own professional assessment.
To Blog…Nakeia
*Does it make sense? Content is very important to me. Every song that I write must be lyrically sound (no pun intended). I like to tell a story that every listener can follow.
*Is it relevant? My songs must connect with the listener on some level. It should have some significance to what is going on their lives.
*Have I evolved? As a writer who intends to have life-long relationship with music, I must consistently develop and advance.
Although this assessment was initially developed for me to improve upon my skills as a song writer, it will benefit anyone desiring improvement. Improvement is essential for those who want to advance or increase in value. If you provide a service or sell a product, you will experience positive results by making consistent improvements. For instance, as a store owner, you should use the first question to ensure that you have the highest quality in products. Question two should be used to ensure that there is a demand the products you provide. The last question will ensure that your business is a lastly one.
It only takes a few minutes to answer these three questions. Take some time today to add value to your business by performing your own professional assessment.
To Blog…Nakeia
Monday, May 24, 2010
We Like Sheep...
I watched an interesting documentary last night. I forget the name of it, but I am sure that it had the word broke in the title. It was about America’s current economic condition. The film maker shared his view on the reason for economic decline as well as the view of some of the world’s leading money experts.
The foundation of the film maker’s view stood on the notion that we (generally) are conditioned to be followers …like sheep. To illustrate his point, he visited a shepherd and observed the herding of his sheep. The shepherd explained that sheep will wonder around aimlessly following the crowd. By design, sheep are prey animals and have a natural instinct to follow the leader in the hopes of finding new pastures. They also panic and flee when stressed which makes herding difficult for uninitiated flock. As it pertains to the documentary, the film maker believes that the current marketplace would be more profitable if people would take control of their personal wealth and did not follow investment trends. He further suggested that people panic when presented with the possibility of loss. Investing is by nature risky business, but the film maker believed that the risk would minimize with the decline of aimless followers.
People have made a fortune investing such as Warren Buffett. Others have made their fortune preying upon aimless followers, such as Bernie Madoff. In life, spending time researching, planning, developing character, and establishing results-driven strategies is an investment. You can not establish your success following trends and wondering aimlessly. You must invest wisely, and if you expect to see a return, you must not panic at the first sign of stress. Owning your own business is a risk. Investing in your education now-a days is a risk…jobs are like the lottery. BUT…if you take control of your own personal success by being intentional, consistent and diligent; you will minimize your risks and increase your chances of seeing a return.
To Blog…Nakeia
Thursday, May 20, 2010
The Stakes Are High...
Now I am not a gambling woman, but I bet that if you knew that everything you do today determines just how successful your tomorrow will be, you would take more care with the decisions you make. When it comes to decision making, the stakes are extremely high. Every time you make a choice, you are putting your success on the line. You either make a choice without considering the benefits, losses, and let the chips fall where they may, or you carefully calculate your next move before you roll the dice (please…humor me).
Your life is too important to gamble with. As they say…gambling is a game of chance. Not planning, researching, preparing, or being consistent is a gamble when it come to your personal and professional success. You involve uncertainty and risk when you live an unintentional life. You could take a chance…OR…you can take control. Before you make your decision, just remember how high the stakes are.
To Blog…Nakeia
To Blog…Nakeia
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Your Story of Sucess...
Jim is a simple man. He is a software engineer by day and a drummer in a local band by night. He drives the same car he purchased just after graduating college years ago. He lives in a townhouse that he owns and has affectionately named it his bad pad. Jim has simplified his life by maintaining the following routine…work…gym…rehearsal…bed. He alters that schedule on the weekends to include time for dating and hanging with his friends.
Lisa is driven. She was recruited by a major firm immediately after earning her graduate degree from an Ivy League college. She owns a studio apartment in the city, drives a luxury car, and surrounds herself with friends that are just as fabulous as she. She has a goal of making partner within the next 2 years. She maintains the following routine…yoga…work…1 hour run…work…bed.
Sue is busy. She is a stay-at-home wife and mother. She has 3 beautiful boys and is expecting what she hopes is a beautiful baby girl. In addition to maintaining her home, she teaches, plays with, and acts as chauffeurs for her children…AND…is the executive administrator for the business that she and her husband owns. Her complicated routine varies from day to day but is typically something like…wake kids up…feed kids…drive kids to school…4 hours of work at the home-office…house work…pick kids up…kids activities…dinner…pass out.
In addition to providing their background story, Jim, Lisa, and Sue were asked this question…would you consider yourself to be successful? Everyone answered yes.
Three completely different lifestyles, income levels, and personal goals, yet they all feel successful. The explanation is simple. Success is not limited to your material possessions, professional achievements, or personal gains. One person’s idea of success is not identical to the idea of another. What makes you successful is the achievement of your own personal intention. Do not compare, imitate, or limit yourself to others. You have your own personal story. Your life is uniquely yours. Own it by creating your own success story.
If your answer to the question would you consider yourself to be successful is no, then re-write your story. Your personal and professional success depends upon your intentional participation. Because you facilitate your own life, you have to ability to change its course at any time. You can be as successful as you intend to be.
To Blog…Nakeia
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
A Quick Reminder...
I believe that most people want to be successful. Despite the many stories of failure, no one wakes up one day and says to their self…I think today is a good day for me to fail. OR…do they?
I speak of being intentional often. It is the most important source of power that you possess. Your intention defines who you are now and determines who you will be in the future. If you wake up without stating your intention for each day, you will conclude that day having failed at your attempt to be successful. In other words, if you do not intend to do something…you intend to do nothing. Your intention is your objective, purpose, and plan. This principal of being intentional should be applied to your business, marriage, parenting, friendships, and day to day living. In fact, living intentionally everyday in every way will guarantee the type of success that will span across your every area of your life.
Today, I just wanted to remind you of the importance of your intentions. Being intentional is simply knowing what you want, designing a plan to obtain it, and doing what needs to be done to make it happen.
Be Intentionl!
To Blog…Nakeia
Monday, May 17, 2010
Seasons Change
The season has changed and spring is here. For me and my family, it is a time of many birthday celebrations…people are getting older. Some family members and friends of mine are graduating from college or high school…people are maturing. Some people are taking their car into the dealership for servicing; and others have just purchased new cars…people are upgrading. This is also the time when many of us do what is called spring cleaning. We switch out the drapes, bedding, area rugs, and clothing in our closets. We go to the salon for fresh cuts and coloring. We spend time in the yard…pruning, snipping, tilling, and watering…people are blossoming.
The message my life sent me today I simple…
…As the seasons change…so should I...
…As the seasons change…so should I...
In your life, old things should become new, small thinking should mature into big thinking, and you should spend much needed time weeding out the things that are preventing you from growing. Today, decide what type of spring cleaning needs to be performed in your personal and professional life.
To Blog…Nakeia
To Blog…Nakeia
Friday, May 14, 2010
Shh!
I received a call from a woman in distress. She could barley speak through the hysteria present in her voice. It was difficult for me to even hear a complete phrase. Eventually, I pieced together her issue and tried to offer words of encouragement. Barely able to get a word in, I spoke as loud as I could over her ranting. I asked...what do you want? She replied with a…huh? I repeated the question…what do you want? She was extremely puzzled. She said, I don’t understand. I said… my question is simple. You called me for advice, yet you’ve spent most of the past 15 minutes re-living your pain. I know your story. Now, I want to know what you want…what do you want to happen now… I told her to think about it and that I would call her back.
What is true about the woman who called me is true of most. Most people would rather talk about what is going wrong in there life and feel the pain of defeat rather than take the action necessary to experience the good in life and feel the joy of success.
It sounds absolutely insane and that’s because it is. Unfortunately, it is also the absolute truth. People pay $100/hour just to sit in an office with a counselor and talk about everything that is wrong with their life. They leave the office feeling better because they got it all out, and go home to the same issues. They will repeat this behavior for years before considering the idea that merely talking about it isn’t causing change to occur. Women schedule monthly venting sessions with their best girlfriends disguised as girl’s night out. Men meet every weekend to complain about their wives between strokes on the golf course. I am a talker and have chosen speaking as a profession. I have a degree in psychology and believe in the effectiveness of wise counsel. But…at some point we have to stop talking and start doing.
We have created a generation of talkers. From phone calls to texting…facebooking to tweeting…if you have something to get off of your chest, there is a space designated for you to say what’s on your mind. Well, I have a question for you. How do you think your life would be if you replaced your words with action? If, instead of talking about the relationship you are in that you hate, you decided to take the action necessary to change it. If, instead of ranting about how you could do a better job than your boss, you developed a business plan and launched our own business.
I have a weekend challenge for you. For the next 3 days, I want you to talk less and act more. Every time you feel the need to rant and complain about something, I want you to replace those words with action. If there is something that someone else is doing that you know you can do better…do it better! If there is a relationship that is causing you grief, fix it or get rid of it! If you are going to get anything out of life, it is going to be by your own God-given power to get it…
…Enough said!
To Blog…Nakeia
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Just Do It
Nike, Inc. is a major publicly traded sportswear and equipment supplier based in the United States. The company was founded on January 25, 1964 as Blue Ribbon Sports by Bill Bowerman and Philip Knight, and officially became Nike, Inc. in 1978. The company takes its name from Nike, the Greek goddess of victory.
Nike's marketing strategy is an important component of the company's success. In 1982, Nike aired its first national television ads, created by newly formed ad agency Wieden+Kennedy, during the New York Marathon. It was agency co-founder Dan Wieden who coined the now-famous slogan Just Do It for a 1988 Nike ad campaign.
The story behind the slogan’s origin is sketchy. Some say Weiden credits the inspiration for the slogan to Let’s do it, the last words spoken by Gary Gilmore before he was executed. Gilmore was a convicted murderer who, in the end, demanded that the state follow through with his execution; despite the protest of certain religious groups. When Gilmore was asked if he had any last words he replied, Let’s do it.
The Center for Applied Research (CAR) says that Nike's Just Do It slogans is probably one of the most inspirational brand statements of all time. According to a case study conducted by the CAR, the slogan was born in a Nike meeting with the Wieden & Kennedy advertising agency in 1988. At the meeting, Weiden reportedly complimented the Nike team for its can-do attitude, saying You Nike guys, you just do it.
No matter the origin, when people hear the phrase Just Do It, they first think of Nike; and second, they think of doing something athletic. Maybe hearing the phrase Just Do It makes people want to run and leap. Maybe people hear those words and want to play basketball like Nike’s Air Jordan’s muse, Michael Jordan or play golf like Nike Golf’s muse, Tiger Woods. That’s cool. Seeing athletic victory is the dream of many high school sports stars…AND…the reality of those who have been fortunate enough the have that dream play-out in their lives.
Today, I want you to experience victory in every area of your life. I want you to Just Do what you were born to do. You were born to live a desired life. Everyone aspires to succeed at something. Whether you want a successful career in sports or in business…whether you desire success in health or in wealth…all it takes is intention followed by action…Just Do It! The time is now! You have spent too much time sitting on the sidelines. You deserve what you desire and if you desire success, take the actions necessary to achieve it!
To Blog…Nakeia
To Blog…Nakeia
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Someone is Always Watching...
I had two reminders this week that someone is always watching me…
1. As I was preparing to stuff my mouth with birthday cake for the 3rd day this week, a friend and fellow gym mate says to me girl you are really slimming down. I replied with a quick thanks for noticing. She also said I gotta get back in the gym. For a very brief second I thought to myself maybe I’ve had enough cake this week. I thought about the fact that I had actually taken my measurements that morning and proudly documented the decline in the inches around my hips, thighs, and waist. But birthday cake is my favorite kind of cake! So… I ate it anyway. This morning I had another thought to myself. I thought what if that cake goes straight to my hips?! My friend will notice and will probably reminder that piece of cake I ate as we chatted it up…
2. I received a call from someone that wanted to encourage me to continue blogging. She explained that she has added my blog to her daily routine and uses it to mentally prepare for her day. She said, I used yesterday’s blog as part of a discussion with a friend. I thought to myself…Wow... not only is my blog reaching my readers, but it goes beyond the pages to reach those that are interacting with my readers. The caller ended our conversation by saying she was excited about what I was writing and assured me that she is always looking out for my next entry…
Someone is always watching…looking to see if we succeed and counting on our testimony of success…
2. I received a call from someone that wanted to encourage me to continue blogging. She explained that she has added my blog to her daily routine and uses it to mentally prepare for her day. She said, I used yesterday’s blog as part of a discussion with a friend. I thought to myself…Wow... not only is my blog reaching my readers, but it goes beyond the pages to reach those that are interacting with my readers. The caller ended our conversation by saying she was excited about what I was writing and assured me that she is always looking out for my next entry…
Someone is always watching…looking to see if we succeed and counting on our testimony of success…
You must succeed not only for you, but for those who are inspired and ultimately empowered by you. When you feel like you have gone as far as you can go and are carrying as much weight as you can handle, think of those who are standing in the shadows and feeling afraid to even take the first step. Think of those that are waiting for you to turn the corner and pass on the baton. You have silent supporters…people that you may not see everyday or even know personally, but who believe in your ability to succeed.
Now that you know that someone maybe watching you; move forward with intention and determination. They may be counting on you to succeed so that they can be inspired to try a hand at success themselves.
To Blog…Nakeia
To Blog…Nakeia
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Mini-Me Turns 5!!!
Today marks another important milestone in our family.
My daughter is officially 5 years old...Whoo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes that is something like a BiG dEaL... in her little 5 year old mind, she has upgraded to BiG gIrL status. She wants to brush her own teeth without me following up with a super brush of my own. She wants to make her own bed without any assistance from dad. She wants to pick out her own clothes when we go shopping. Most significantly, she want to do everything I do... Hence the nickname...mini-me. She grabs her purse before heading out the door when I grab mine. She breaks out her lip conditioner when I grab mine. She likes a hot cup of herbal tea in the morning when I prepare to drink mine. If I do it...she wants to do it!
Now this was cute at first....after all she is an extension of me. But...that is where it went from cute to scary. She is an extension of me...The real me. She has picked up on the good qualities that I possess as well as the qualities that I spend some of my time re-developing. When I am happy she is happy. When I am sad she is sad. When I am confused she is just as confused.
As parents, we do our best to give our children everything they want. We spend tons of money on birthday parties and gifts each year. Most of my daughter's birthday presents from last year haven't seen the outside of her toy chest since last year. Ultimately, the greatest gift that we can give our children is healthy parents. Children do what we do and not just what we say. They will remember the kind of people we were and not the kind of material gifts we gave them. They will reflect our weaknesses and not just our strengths. They will model our failures and not just our success...IF...we don't take the time to develop who we are.
My daughter has seen me make goals and achieve them. In those moments...in her big girl voice...she tells me that she's proud of me. She has also seen me fail at some of those attempts...like when my now famous (among our family) lemonade recipe was in its developmental stages. She was my taste tester and when it didn't taste so good she would say...in her big girl voice...its ok mommy, you'll get it right next time.
Now that she is 5, I feel even more compelled to succeed. After all, she likes to do everything that I do. So, if I grab a hold of opportunity, she will grab a hold of opportunity. If I spend time developing my character, she will develop her character. If I show love to others, she will show love to others.
Along with all of the other birthday presents she gets this year, I am going to give her a mommy that is consistently intentional.
Happy birthday Kai Liee!!!!!
To Blog....Nakeia
Monday, May 10, 2010
Circle of Friends...
When it comes to your circle of friends, associates, acquaintances...or whatever you want to call them...you need to learn to keep that circle tight.
Studies show that you will earn around the same salary, drive the same class of car, live in the same type of community, and share the same core values as your closest friends. In other words...birds of a feather, flock together...
When you put that into prospective, what does that say about you and your circle of friends?
If you are making the money you want, driving there car you want, and leaving the the home of your dreams, your circle of friends are probably doing the same. You probably spend time networking together, sharing stock tips, planning vacations, and sharing stories of success over weekend dinner dates.
If you are working at a job you hate, driving a car that needs an upgrade, living in a community that you dread coming home to at night, your circle of friends are probably doing the same. You probably spend time complaining together, sharing poor me stories, planning nothing, and sharing stories of failures over weekend dinner dates.
I know what you're thinking...but she's been my friend for years, or he's my children's godfather. I understand. I am not suggesting that you rid yourself of them. I am suggesting that you tighten your circle by making sure that your interactions with your friends connect to your ultimate life goals. What I mean by that is simple. I believe that the people you surround yourself with should be a source of power. Your friends should ignite an energy that will push you forward. You should encourage one another, support each other's strength, and strengthen each other in times of weakness. You can't do that if your friends don't exhibit the qualities that you wish to maintain in your own life.
Today, do a circle check. Is your circle connected or are there areas of leakage.? Are your friends adding to your life or are they draining the life out of you? Surrounding yourself with the right friends is vital to your success. You are only as wise, wealthy, and ultimately successful as the company you keep.
To Blog...Nakeia
Friday, May 7, 2010
Happy Birthday To Me
So...today is mY BirThDay!!!
I am proud to say that I am excited to be turning a year older...I will keep the number of that year to myself for now...but I am excited nonetheless.
It hasn't always been that way for me. I started dreading my birthday at around 25 years old. I saw my life flash before my eyes and because I wasn't excited about what I saw, I began to resent my birthday. Then reality hit me a few years back when I learned of a classmate that had just lost her battle with breast cancer. That was devastating to me. I didn't know her that well but I heard she had a husband and child just like me...that could have been me...
To waste my birthday crying over not having the car, house, job, hair, body, and skin I wanted was ridiculous when there are people that are not even fortunate enough to see another year of life... That fact came full circle for me when I learned that a childhood friend had just died of a heart attack last week.
So...today in celebration of my birthday I say to HeCk with all of the nonsense over my looks, money, and material possessions! I am grateful to God for my life! I will spend the next year of my life, growing more, loving more, laughing more, achieving more, inspiring more, and just living more...
Celebrate Life today...you only get one!
To Blog...Nakeia
I am proud to say that I am excited to be turning a year older...I will keep the number of that year to myself for now...but I am excited nonetheless.
It hasn't always been that way for me. I started dreading my birthday at around 25 years old. I saw my life flash before my eyes and because I wasn't excited about what I saw, I began to resent my birthday. Then reality hit me a few years back when I learned of a classmate that had just lost her battle with breast cancer. That was devastating to me. I didn't know her that well but I heard she had a husband and child just like me...that could have been me...
To waste my birthday crying over not having the car, house, job, hair, body, and skin I wanted was ridiculous when there are people that are not even fortunate enough to see another year of life... That fact came full circle for me when I learned that a childhood friend had just died of a heart attack last week.
So...today in celebration of my birthday I say to HeCk with all of the nonsense over my looks, money, and material possessions! I am grateful to God for my life! I will spend the next year of my life, growing more, loving more, laughing more, achieving more, inspiring more, and just living more...
Celebrate Life today...you only get one!
To Blog...Nakeia
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Encore...Encore...
In college, I also majored in musical theater. I know…psychology…musical theater…what’s the connection. Honestly, there is none. Well, I have been accused of having multiple personalities on occasion….but that’s a whole other story. The truth is there is a very serious side of me and then there is a side of me that loves to perform. The idea of becoming someone else, commanding the attention of a group of people that are as excited as you are to experience the transformation, and the stage…I love it! During my days in theater, I had the privilege to study under Joseph A. Walker and meet and work with Danny Glover. I also remember how great it was when the audience would demand an encore. An encore is a repeat performance. That basically means that the audience enjoyed the performance so much that they want to see it again. The thing about stage actors is that they only get one shot. There are no opportunities for do-overs. You rehearse and when the curtain goes up on opening night…you’re on…live. If you are good the audience will let you know and if you are bad the audience will let you know.
Just as I was the star in such productions as Godspell and Baby in the Bathtub, I am the star of my very own reality series called Nakeia’s Life. I know you have heard the phrase life’s a stage. Well in some since, it is. There are roles we play at work, at home, and with our friends. We take on the persona of spouse, employee, and friend, and then we do our best to fulfill those roles. As we go about our real life performances, there are times we are a success. During those times, our boss or spouse may demand an encore. We may have completed a project so well that our boss puts us in charge of the next one. We may have shown our spouse so much love and support that we are able to happily celebrate another anniversary as a couple. Then there are times when we completely bomb. During those times it’s like we can’t say or do anything right. We execute plans that seem to fail and it is at those times that we want to shut down production…completely.
Today, I want to encourage those who do not get the demands for an encore…those who have decided to close down the production…don’t give up!
Just as I was the star in such productions as Godspell and Baby in the Bathtub, I am the star of my very own reality series called Nakeia’s Life. I know you have heard the phrase life’s a stage. Well in some since, it is. There are roles we play at work, at home, and with our friends. We take on the persona of spouse, employee, and friend, and then we do our best to fulfill those roles. As we go about our real life performances, there are times we are a success. During those times, our boss or spouse may demand an encore. We may have completed a project so well that our boss puts us in charge of the next one. We may have shown our spouse so much love and support that we are able to happily celebrate another anniversary as a couple. Then there are times when we completely bomb. During those times it’s like we can’t say or do anything right. We execute plans that seem to fail and it is at those times that we want to shut down production…completely.
Today, I want to encourage those who do not get the demands for an encore…those who have decided to close down the production…don’t give up!
Since you are the writer, director, and star of your life, you get to call all of the shots. Maybe you need to fire your current supporting cast and hire new ones. Maybe you need to re-write the script. Maybe you need to invest in an acting coach. Whatever it takes to make your production a success…do it! The reality is you are living in real life and not on a stage. Although real life is always live, you can do-over as many times as necessary for you to be a success. However, if you spend more time in the developmental stages before you decide to call the curtain, you won’t make as many mistakes. What happens in your yesterday only negatively effects today if you have not learned from it…
Today, review your script, make the necessary changes, and begin again. Don’t close the production just get…I am requesting an encore! I want to see you performing at your best!
To Blog…Nakeia
Today, review your script, make the necessary changes, and begin again. Don’t close the production just get…I am requesting an encore! I want to see you performing at your best!
To Blog…Nakeia
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Avocados...
I never liked avocados. I avoided them on salads, never ate guacamole, and picked them out of sandwiches. I couldn’t get over the texture. It’s fleshy and creamy all at the same time. I also thought that they had no flavor. To me, they tasted like nothing. Then I started this whole occasional healthy eating kick. I learned about eating for nutrition as opposed to eating solely for pleasure. When I realized how beneficial avocados were to my health, I decided to give them another try. Avocados provide nearly 20 essential nutrients, including fiber, potassium, Vitamin E, B-vitamins and folic acid. They also act as a "nutrient booster" by enabling the body to absorb more fat-soluble nutrients, such as alpha and beta-carotene and lutein, in foods that are eaten with the fruit. The vitamins and healthy oils in avocados make them good for your hair and skin.
So, as I said before…I gave them another try. To my surprise, they are my new favorite thing to eat. I learned from watching the Food Network, reading books on nutrition, and talking with my friend Alexa of preciousmouthfuls.com, that paring avocados with the right ingredients enhances its flavor. Just by adding a little citrus juice and seasoning my dislike of avocados turned into a like-it-a-lot! Many people enjoy avocados as a spread with a little salt and pepper, with some sugar and milk as a tasty shake, or in a sandwich as a replacement for meat. I now enjoy them paired with tomatoes, red onions and a dressing made up of olive oil, lime juice, salt, pepper, and garlic powder…who knew?!?
I am now going to shamelessly compare you to an avocado. On your own, you are full of ideas, experience, and ambition. Now just imagine how much better you could be if paired with the right ingredients. That is…things that will enhance who you are in business, love, and life. Just by adding one book a month, a mentor in the field you desire success in, and a healthy dose of intention, you could go from average to exceptional!
To Blog…Nakeia
So, as I said before…I gave them another try. To my surprise, they are my new favorite thing to eat. I learned from watching the Food Network, reading books on nutrition, and talking with my friend Alexa of preciousmouthfuls.com, that paring avocados with the right ingredients enhances its flavor. Just by adding a little citrus juice and seasoning my dislike of avocados turned into a like-it-a-lot! Many people enjoy avocados as a spread with a little salt and pepper, with some sugar and milk as a tasty shake, or in a sandwich as a replacement for meat. I now enjoy them paired with tomatoes, red onions and a dressing made up of olive oil, lime juice, salt, pepper, and garlic powder…who knew?!?
I am now going to shamelessly compare you to an avocado. On your own, you are full of ideas, experience, and ambition. Now just imagine how much better you could be if paired with the right ingredients. That is…things that will enhance who you are in business, love, and life. Just by adding one book a month, a mentor in the field you desire success in, and a healthy dose of intention, you could go from average to exceptional!
To Blog…Nakeia
Monday, May 3, 2010
Decisions...Decisions...Decisions...
Today I woke up with the intention to make decisions. I have a bad habit of starting a project, doing the research, combing through ideas, and not making a final decision on how to move forward. I rationalize my indecisiveness by contending that all of the ideas are so good that I need to work them all out and not just decide on one. Well, that hasn’t been working for me…at all! I have been unable to meet certain deadlines as a result of it.
I am happy to announce that number 1 on my list of things that need to be decided…has been decided!
I’ll give you a hint. It has to do with my website and there are three words that all begin with the letter D involved…
Make some decisions of your own today. Carrying around a bunch of ideas doesn’t make you smarter or push you any closer to achieving your goals. In fact, being indecisive delays your achievement of goals and causes you to miss important windows opportunities.
Write your own list of things that need to be decided and make some decisions!
To Blog…Nakeia
I am happy to announce that number 1 on my list of things that need to be decided…has been decided!
I’ll give you a hint. It has to do with my website and there are three words that all begin with the letter D involved…
Make some decisions of your own today. Carrying around a bunch of ideas doesn’t make you smarter or push you any closer to achieving your goals. In fact, being indecisive delays your achievement of goals and causes you to miss important windows opportunities.
Write your own list of things that need to be decided and make some decisions!
To Blog…Nakeia
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