Love (The Series) Part2

Then:
Guy likes girl. Girl likes guy, but pretends she doesn’t. Eventually, guy and girl “go out”, get married, have children, and live happily ever after. All of that took place over the course of a year.

Now:
Guy likes girl, but pretends he doesn’t. Girl likes guy. Right away, guy and girl “hook up”, get engaged, have children, and live miserably ever after. All of that takes place over the course of 10 years.

I am happily married and off the market---THANK GOD! From what I hear, it is not easy being single. The ratio of women to men varies from place to place. BUT, one thing that is consistent everywhere is that single women outnumber single men. I will not get into statistics on STD’s, but I will share that it has been reported that, in the United States, there is more than 1 million people living with HIV and more that ½ million people who develop AIDS have died. Keep in mind that there are many people who never get tested. So what a girl or guy to do?

Something like 1 in 5 current relationships are developed through online dating services. I personally know 2 couples that met online and married this year. For those of you who live in a cave and are not familiar with online dating, it is a dating system which allows individuals to meet online before meeting in person. Each individual sets up a personal profile and specific criteria with the intentions of creating a perfect match.

If you are really busy and don’t have time to cruise the online matchmaking scene, you can take a couple hours on a Friday night to attend a Speed Dating event. Yes…speed dating! This option seems to be the most entertaining. If you hear your biological clock is ticking, you may want to check this one out! I kid…I kid! Seriously though, speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process which encourages individuals to meet a number of people, at once, in a setting that allows you to get straight to the point.

Here is my take on dating. If you are over the age of 25 and you want to get married and start a family, stop wasting time, money, and your intentions on Friday night Fillers. Fillers are individuals that you allow to fill-in for the real thing. You know that person (filler) isn’t the one, but you don’t want to spend your Friday night alone or just with friends. So you call on a Filler to fill the void that can really only be filled with a meaningful relationship. I admit I was guilty of using Fillers. I have only had two romantic relationships in my life. I was a teenager during the first relationship and the other guy I now call husband. But I mistakenly allowed Fillers to occupy the space in between.

I will not endorse online dating or speed- dating, but I will say that those methods do two things that I will advise you to do as well.

Establish a criterion. You know the type of guy or girl that is suitable for you. Get rid of the Fillers! I know some dating experts with tell you to get rid of your wish list and compromise. I beg to differ. That is just another way of telling you to settle. I will however, suggest that you be realistic. Tall, dark, and handsome just doesn’t cut it any more. Ladies, you are not Barbie and Ken is plastic. Please list some criteria of substance.

Get straight to the point. Stop wasting time. Time is of the essence is a legal phrase that I use on my contracts for my business. It simply means that the actions set forth in the agreement must be fulfilled in the time set forth or in a reasonable amount of time. It is also a very important principle that can be applied to many instances of your life. Set a specific or reasonable time frame for getting to know a person. I personally would know after the first date if someone was suitable for me. For you, it may take two dates. If a meaningful relationship that will lead to marriage is your goal, get to the point!

I think I’ve said enough…

To Blog…Nakeia