Thursday, April 22, 2010

Steppping Out of the Box

I have issues…with friends that is…

For years I have asked myself, my family, my husband, and God, why I have such a hard time finding and keeping friends. I am nice, caring, loyal, encouraging, and forgiving…at least I try very hard to be. I’ll be the first to admit that I am also opinionated, moody, and spoiled…at least I try very hard not to be. I am also not a yes girl because I believe I owe it to the people I care about not to be. I have 1 childhood friend left, 4 college girls that I still kick it with, and of course my sister who has no choice in the matter. I honestly believe that we are still going strong because we don’t speak that often. To much of me isn't good for anyone...except my husband and blog readers of course.

Last year I had an epiphany! I liked being alone! I don’t need to be with another person to go shopping, eating, working out, or even for regular conversation. It stems from my childhood. My grandmother, who raised me as her own, worked a few jobs for long hours. While she was working, I had to stay in the house alone. My grandmother had her good friend, who was also a neighbor look in on me while she was gone. Because I had to hang out by myself most of the time, I learned to entertain myself. I began journaling, writing poems and short stories, and reading books. When I needed company I turned on the television and hung out with “The Golden Girls.” So when friends wanted to hang out, I went sometimes but most of the time, I just wanted to be alone…it was what I was use to. Now that I am older; and especially after getting married and having a child, my need for friends sort of increased. I have more things to talk about and play dates to schedule. So I decided to step out of my box and be friendlier so that I can attract more friends. If you really knew me, you would understand just how big that box was for me. Since doing so I have had some ups and down in the friends category, but those who were truly my friends are still going strong.

This may seem a bit silly to most of you…quite frankly I am a bit silly. Most adults don’t have friend issues. But if you are honest with yourselves, you do have issues of your own. What is comfortable to you is not necessary the best thing for you. Step out of the box. Make new friends, go new places, get a new hair cut, buy a new wardrobe, ask someone out on a date, call a meeting with your boss and ask for more a promotion…Do something new!

Shout out to my friends true and new…

To Blog…Nakeia

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