The Truth About Opportunity

There are many reasons people give for not experiencing a successful life. I have heard and maybe even said myself such things as:

I would be further along if only…
If I had another chance, I would…
Things would have turned out differently if…

Here are a few famous quotes concerning opportunity:

Opportunity is never lost; they are taken by others. ~unknown
Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor. ~H. Jackson Brown Jr.
Opportunity multiply after they are seized. ~Sun Tzu
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overall and looks like work. ~Thomas Alva Edison

I say, opportunity will knock on the doors of those who are prepared to open it. Today, begin to seize every moment you have to prepare for the opportunity you have been waiting for. Don’t miss out because have spent more time talking about what you want to do, than you have preparing yourself to actually be able to do it successfully. Revisit your business plan from 2 years ago and make sure it is relevant today. Spend more time networking with other professionals and less time hanging out with friends. Do not be one of those people with a long list of reasons you are not experiencing success.

To Blog…Nakeia

The Truth About Envy...

Have you ever pulled your older model car that has cloth seats, a check engine light that has been on for 2years, and blows out smoke when you start it, into a parking space that was parallel to a shiny, brand new, chromed out, luxury car of your dreams; and wondered, to yourself, what does the driver of that car do for a living? How about this one? Have you ever sat a table in a restaurant with a group of your closest friends that was adjacent to a table that seated a couple that was whispering into each others ears, gazing into each other’s eyes, and sitting so close to each other that they looked like Siamese twins (ok, maybe that’s a bit much); and you wondered, to yourself, will I ever fall in love? Or, finally, have you ever listened, from the other end of the phone, as your sister, brother, or best friend expresses how happy, fulfilled, and successful they are now that he/she has found his/her purpose in life; and you wonder, to yourself, will I ever discover my purpose?

Well, I have. I have looked at what someone else has, how successful someone else appears to be, and wondered, to myself, when will that be me?!. I am driven. I have goals. I am intentional. I should have what I see others enjoying… Then I had a conversation with a friend who has reached her career goals, is financially secure, but envy’s the fact that I have a husband and a child. I have also come in contact with clients, random people in the grocery store, and close family members and friends who are all in search of their life’s purpose; while I have know what it is I am here to do for years now.

What if I…? When will I…? What about me…? How come she…? Is it fair that he…? Those are questions that will prevent you from placing the focus where it belongs. James Allen says that you should make your purpose the centralizing point of your thoughts. Personal and professional development is a self -centered process. You must develop tunnel vision if you want to be successful at it. Further more, you will never truly know where someone else is on their journey. They may appear to be further ahead than you; but getting to that place in life may have cost them more than you were willing to sacrifice.

Today, direct your focus inward. Make your purpose the centralizing point of your thoughts. What someone else has that you want, will not change the course of your life. So, do not waste your energy on envy.

To Blog…Nakeia

Try Again!

In our daily lives there is work to do, decisions to be made, goals to accomplish, bills to pay, and people to please. Sometimes we succeed at those things and other times we fail. What is great about life is that if you are blessed to see another day, you are also blessed with another opportunity to try again.

The notion that you only get one shot is not always true. People like Winston Churchill, Donald Trump, Albert Einstein, Nelson Mandela and Thomas Edison, all used their opportunity to try again to go on to create history making success. If you are afraid to fail, you are also afraid to succeed. Often, success is the reincarnation of a failed attempt.

Today, instead of proposing a question, I propose a dare. I dare you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and tRy agAiN! What type of history making success might you create?

To Blog…Nakeia

You Got Talent?

There is something that you are really good at. There are skills and talents that you have been gifted with. Maybe you can sing, write, paint, cook, bake, decorate, garden, or encourage others. What ever that gift is, you are in possession of it for a reason. Just ask one of the contestants from America’s Got Talent. You know…the show that allows people who can swallow fire, walk on their head, and juggle knives, to have their 15 minutes of fame.

I have said time and time again that I am going to exercise every ability, talent, and skill that I have. Some of the things I can do like writing and empowering others, I make money doing. Then there are things like photography, cooking, and professional shopping (I made that one up), that I do to expand who I am as a person. Those things bring me joy, keep me productive even on my days off, and enhance my personal development (yes…even the shopping). Just for the record, if I thought I could go on a reality show, and win some money just by showing America what I do every weekend, I wouldn’t hesitate!

This weekend, shift the focus from what you do to make money (career), and focus on what you do to just be true to you. This weekend you have my permission to be self-centered. Take some time to do what you love to do. If you have not yet identified your talents or gifts, just think about the things you do when you are not working. Ask your closest family and friends what they think you are good at. Once you have discovered your talent, spend some time developing it. By engaging in activities that you are inherently good at, you build upon your skill set, enhance your personal development, and consistently live a productive life. And…who knows, maybe you can sign on to star in the next big reality talent show.

To Blog…Nakeia

Things Change...

Circumstances change. You can be perfectly healthy today and awfully sick tomorrow. You can be completely secure in your job today and be apart of the mass layoff your company is planning tomorrow. You can be in a loving relationship today and get your heart broken by a betrayal tomorrow. Nothing stays the same. Hopefully, you are developing, evolving, and moving from one successful endeavor to another. Because circumstances change, you must change with them.

I have been working with someone who is reluctantly planning a few major life changes. I say she is reluctant because she can not get past her current circumstances. She hates her job, is financially insecure, and is scared she will never be a mother. So, when she attempts to plan her future, she includes the job she hates, works around her current budget, and excludes the idea that children may be involved. In other words, she makes plans based upon everything that she hates about her life and is ultimately trying to change.

I understand her difficulty. It is hard to see past the things you come face to face with everyday. You might ask: how can she plan to support children with a job that pays next to nothing? Or, how can she plan to launch a new business in an unstable economy? Well, I have a question for you. What if her circumstances change as soon as tomorrow? It is possible that her boss could call her into his office and offer her the promotion that she has been diligently working toward. It is possible that she could be included in the number of successful businesses that are thriving despite the current economic climate. If she continues to make plans based upon her life today, she will not be prepared for the positive changes that may occur in the future.

I’ll end where I started. Circumstances change. With that in mind, you should not make intentional plans around the things you intend to change. Planning a family, purchase of a home, or any other major life decision around a job that you hate will only force you to commit to that job even longer. The plans, decisions, and actions of today will directly affect tomorrow.

I know you desire change. You want to be fulfilled in every area of your life. Start planning today! Set aside your feelings concerning your current job, house, health conditions, and relationships. Get a clear mental picture of the kind of changes you desire to see in those areas of your life and plan for when it happens. How will you spend the money your new career will bring you? Circumstances change, so you must be prepared to change with it!


To Blog…Nakeia

One Step At A Time...

It would be great to want something, put forth the effort to get it, and immediately experience success. Right? Wrong! That is just not how life works. I am still trying to figure out why...and if you figure it out before me...please, let me in on it.

As a mother of a thriving 5 year old, I have come to realize the importance of the process behind success. My daughter learned to tie her shoes at 2 1/2 years old. It took her several weeks to learn, but when she succeeded, it was one of the biggest moments in her young life. She was most proud of the steps she learned to master the art of shoe tying. So, for at least the next 30 days she would say mom, wanna see me tie my shoe...and she would proudly tie her shoes, one step at a time.

According to Webster, a process is a series of actions or operations conducing to an end. That is, everything that happens before the thing that you want to happen...actually happens. The actions necessary to succeed will be the foundation upon which lastly success is built. For example, once my daughter learned the process of tying shoes and became successful at it, she welcomed the process of mastering bike riding, cartwheels, and handwriting.

Sometimes it takes years to succeed at what took a second to conceive. That is just the way it is. What is most important is that you learn to master the steps it takes to achieve the success you desire. Embrace the process and use it to fuel your future success.

To Blog...Nakeia

See You in Ten...

My husband and I just had a very interesting conversation. We were talking about the people we are today versus the people we thought we would be when we thought of ourselves 10 years earlier. In the year 2000, people were just happy to be alive (remember, the world was supposed to end that year). Now, we find ourselves in 2010, alive and hopefully thriving in our businesses, marriages, and health (of course you only have two years to enjoy it because the date for the end of the world has been rescheduled for 2012).

Ten years ago, I didn't even know my husband existed, didn't know I could write songs, and didn't think the world was coming to an end, because there were too many things I still wanted to accomplish. So in talking to my husband about my life now, we were both surprised to see just how much I have evolved as a person. Now here is where the conversation got interesting. I asked him to think about our marriage, business, and everything else in his life right now. Then I asked this question: knowing what you know now, if you were at the start of those endeavors, would you do them all over again? As you can imagine, we had a lengthy and informative conversation. I learned even more about myself as my husband proposed those same questions to me.

Now, I will ask you. Think of your career and family. Are those things all that you had hoped they would be? Are you proud of your choices? If you were at the start of those endeavors, would you do them all over again?

Answering those questions will reveal more about who you are as a person. Hopefully you will not look at you life and be terrified by the choices you have made, but will look at you life and be proud of the person you are ever evolving into. Additioning, give some thought to who you will be in the next 10 years. How much of your life will be changed? What choices do you need to make today to ensure that you are exactly where you want to be within the next 10 years ?

To Blog...Nakeia

Friday Night Dinners...

Today is Friday...the day that my husband and I stand around for about an hour, going back and forth over one specific major life decision. For the life of me, I don't know why this decision is so hard for us. I mean Friday comes around every 7 days, so we have plenty of time to prepare. However, without fail, we continue to go back and forth something like this:

Husband: What do you want do you want to eat?

Me: I don't know. What do you want to eat?

Husband: I don't know. Whatever you want to eat.

Me: Well, I cook every~ single~day! Can't you just decide?

Husband: You're the picky one. Tell me what you want and that's what I'll eat.

Me: I DON'T KNOW!! Just decide.

Husband: Pizza?

Me: No, I don't want pizza.

Husband: I thought you said just decide.

Me: Well, don't decide on something you know I don't want.

Husband: Well, what do you want?

Me: Ugh...I DON'T KNOW!

...this will go on for an hour, or more, until we end up just eating pizza.

Decision making can a be difficult thing...even the decisions we make over Friday night dinners. But, choices must be made. Intentional and strategic decisions are the foundation of a successful business, marriage, mind, body...ultimately, the success of your entire life will depend upon the decisions you make today.

It may take you a second, an hour, or even a week to decide on something as trivial as Friday night dinners. However, when you think of the long term effects eating pizza, once a week, might have on the future of your health, that decision does seem so trivial after all.

This weekend, begin a routine of intentional and strategic decision making. This may not come easy to most. It may take you a second, an hour, or even weeks to make one choice. Just keep in mind that the decision you make today, will directly effect the success of your tomorrow.

To Blog...Nakeia

Back At It!

I must admit, I am still sort of weirded out by the whole me blogging thing. People...people I know that is...actually read it. My aunt, sister, bff (of 21 years), grandmom, husband, cousins, facebook friends, gym mates...ok, ok! You get the idea. I usually write about things that I discuss throughout the day anyway or have formulated into a keynote speech or seminar.

I switch my tone for this blog, depending on the nature of my discussion for the day. Sometimes I may come across as a lecturer and sometimes a bit informal and conversational. Either way, I take much thought into what I want to say to you.

Back to the weirded out thing. I was talking to someone the other day, complaining about how my many, ManY plans are not working out the way that I want them to. I went on and on about my intentional efforts, mission assessments and must do lists. The I told her that I was just going to put what I was working on to the side for a while because it was beginning to reaLLY get me out of character. Then she, who will remain nameless, used one of my blogs to shut me right on up! She said didn't you say that doing something will ALWAYS get you further than doing nothing...

Speechless...me...speechless! Weird, right? When have I ever been speechless?

Well, I just wanted to let her, who shall remain nameless, know (publicly) that I am back at it...doing something until the thing I want to happen~haPPens!

As for you...what will you get back at today? In the words of me and my nameless friend, doing something will ALWAYS get you further than doing nothing.

To Blog...Nakeia

Thinking of You...

I have official and unofficial followers. I have secret subscribers and people that just drop by when they get a free moment. Some people read my blog daily and some people catch up at the end of each week. I have readers that are men and readers that are women. I have readers that are faithful friends or old class mates, as well as people I have never met before that live in such far places as India. No matter whom you are, where you are, or what your relationship is to me, I am glad you are out there reading, growing, and taking notes.

I have said several times that my reason for blogging is partially selfish. I am on a journey to live successful life that is balanced by personal and professional fulfillments, and I want to take you with me. I write from a very vulnerable place because I am in the midst of a major life transformation. I am an eternal student of life, but I have come a long way from a child of difficult circumstances to woman who is determined to fulfill my life’s purpose.

Today, I just wanted you to know that I appreciate your comments, emails, instant messages, and facebook chats. I am always researching ways that I can empower you to reach your highest potential, achieve your latest goal, and fulfill your purpose. I also wanted to remind you that you are not alone in your journey. We may not be on the same path, but we are all in route to fulfill our purpose. So many of you have responded to my blogs with the phrase I feel like you were speaking directly to me. My response to that is always I am speaking to both (or all) of us.

Stay the course…

To Blog…Nakeia

Know, Feel, Act...

It is said that people do not change their lives because of what they know, but because of what they feel. I don’t know who said it first, but it sounds about right to me, so I say it often. Think about it. The last time you gave serious thought to the idea of starting a new career was probably when you felt as though you were going no where(physically trapped) at your current job, and not because you knew that were over experienced, over worked, and under paid. Ok, maybe you are content with your job but feel as though it is time for a new house. You were ok with your condo in the city until you visited your college friends at their home in the suburbs and fell in love (there goes those feelings) with idea of a white picket fence.

Whatever the circumstances surrounding your thoughts toward making a major life change, somewhere buried beneath those circumstances are feelings and those feelings will often produce actions. To know something is to hold information in your mind, even to the point of certainty. When you feel something, you experience it through emotion or physical sensation. When you feel uncomfortable, unappreciated, underestimated, less than, left behind, poor, confident, content, successful, prosperous, loved, or secure, that sensation will prompt you to act.

Today the action I am looking for is the act of change. There are things in your life that need to be replaced, removed, and just plain different. You know it and you may even feel it. Now it is time to take some action! How do you feel about your job, marriage, weight, friends, and health? Use what you are feeling to change your life!


To Blog…Nakeia

The Truth About People

When it comes to people, there are no absolutes. Cause and effect is not always at work for you, as it relates to other people. You can love someone so much yet receive no love in return. You can work so efficiently for a boss only to go unnoticed. You can be such a good friend to someone only to have them betray you. It is possible for you to do right by someone only to have them do wrong by you.

Now that you know the truth, set yourself free! Be free from disappointment and let-downs at the hands of someone else. You can not control another person’s actions, and that is an absolute truth. You can, however, control how you allow what someone else does to affect you…and that is another absolute truth.

If you felt another assessment coming, you were right!

Today, I want you to assess your relationships and interactions with other people. Are you allowing the negative actions of your boss, friend, or significant other to affect you negatively? Regain your control by understanding the nature of each relationship. You may even determine that some of your relationships should be terminated. You may not have the ability to walk into your boss’ office tomorrow and quit, but you do have the ability to revamp your resume and send it out to your company’s competitors!

Your destiny will never be tied to someone or something that causes you pain.


To Blog…Nakeia

Why Not You?

For true success, James Allen says you should ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?

For those who desire to be intentional, answering these questions will help you achieve that. Whatever goal, business deal, or decision you are currently working out, take a break from it today, and answer those for questions. After you have answered the question why not me…I want you to ask yourself the question: why me? In addition to the question why not now…I want you to ask yourself the question: why now?

Most of us have no problem making a list of all of the things we don’t think we can do. By asking yourself the two questions I have added, you will discover a list of things you can do. You deserve to be happy, successful, and prosperous. Take some time to find out why.

To Blog…Nakeia

Come Rain...

My five year old daughter is not a fan of rain. Last weekend, in particular, she made it very clear that she has had her fill of rain for this season. I explained to her the importance of rain to all things living. Despite my short dissertation on how the rain helps plants grow AND how healthy plants produce the oxygen we need to breathe, our conversation ended with her explaining to me that rain doesn’t help warm, sunny, days…AND…warm , sunny, days help kids play…AND…when kids play, their muscles grow strong and healthy. As a last ditch effort, I told her that the sun has to share the days of the week with the rain sometimes. She just replied by saying that the rain hasn’t been very good at sharing lately…but I think she got my point.

In yesterday’s post, When It Rains, I used the idiom when it rains, it pours. Today, I want to introduce you to the idiom…come rain or shine. I don’t know about you, but there are some things that must happen in my life. There are some goals that I must achieve in order to fulfill my purpose. I don’t wake up everyday ready to go for it. Sometimes, especially when it is raining out, I want to burry myself under the covers and not wake up until the sun is shining and everything is going my way. But...because I have spent time developing and shielding myself under the umbrella of inspirational books and quotes, my purpose begins to tug at me.

If a dream, a goal, or a clear intention has been placed in your heart, it is because you have been commissioned to fulfill it. There is nothing in life worth having that will not require something of you. Sometimes you will be required to work through a rain of issues. It is during those rainy days that you will discover your resilience, passion, and ability to persevere. Come rain or shine, you must remain committed.

My suggestion for you today will be a lasting one. I want you to develop a power phrase or affirmation that you use on the days when the rain begins to pour. The phrase should start with come rain or shine. Here is my power phrase:

Come rain or shine, I will not stop until I fulfill every intention for my life!

To Blog…Nakeia

When It Rains...

My grandmother, a non-proponent of rain, sometimes blames the rain for her aching knees, wrists, and shoulders. In fact, she can wake up and give a pretty accurate weather report, which is based on how she feels. Now, there is no science that will back up her report, but a rheumatologist in Georgia has gone on record as saying that many of his patients complain of pain that worsens during rainy weather. There may not be any science backing up my grandmother’s bed-side weather reports, but when she starts rubbing her knees, I break out my umbrella.

I am neutral on the issue of rain. I can live with it, and I can live without it. However, I have found myself using the idiom, when it rains, it pours. I am sure many of you have found yourself feeling that way about some issues with finances, health, and career. I personally have experienced an out pouring of issues in all of those areas at some point in my life. I can remember more than one day waking up to bad news, and going to bed with news that was even worse. Despite my best efforts, there have been times when every plan that I made failed. So what did I do when it seemed like the rain would never end? I grabbed an umbrella. I surrounded myself with every inspirational book, quote, blog, DVD, and CD I could find. I listened to music that made me want to sing and dance. I re-read my business proposals, mission statements, and idea booklets…after all just because they haven’t worked yet, doesn’t mean they never will. Sometimes all it takes to shield myself from the effects of a bad day, week, or month, is one word that connects with my power to persevere.

Figuratively speaking, there will be periods of unwanted rain in your life. Today, you may have put forth your best effort toward the achievement of a goal, yet you still feel as if it is impossible. I am not going to tell you that what you are feeling is wrong, because I have felt the same way. I am not going to tell you that you will feel better in the morning because your rain storm may last for days. What I will tell you is that when the rain begins to pour, you don’t have to get drenched. Grab an umbrella. Look for a word or phrase that will encourage you. Read a book or a blog written by someone that has a shared his/her story of perseverance. Doing these things may not prevent the rain from pouring, but it will shield you from the effects of the down pour.

To Blog…Nakeia

To Meet or Not To Meet?

I have never been a fan of meetings. It has been my experience that meetings are an excuse to get together and talk about what you should actually be using that time to do. So, imagine how confused I was, with myself, when I initiated 2 meetings this week. The purpose of those meetings was to introduce myself and my business to members of my new community. I accomplished my goal of creating connections with some other productive business women. So, overall, I have found a purpose for short meetings that I can live with and I have 2 intentional meetings scheduled for next week. Honestly though, I think that will be enough meeting, for me, this month.

For all of you meeting lovers out there, here are a few tips that you can use to ensure that your meetings are intentional.

Tip # 1. Meet with an agenda or clear intention. Go into a meeting with at least 1-2 questions that get answered or messages to deliver. Your intention with vary based on your role as initiator or invitee.

Tip # 2. Have your meeting in a public space over lunch or coffee/tea. If you choose a lunch meeting, use the time it takes to prepare your meal to conduct the meeting. This will help you focus on what needs to be said and accomplished in the time frame allotted. If you choose to meet over coffee/tea drink while you talk and when your cup is empty your meetings agenda should be fulfilled.

Tip # 3. Take notes. There is nothing more frustrating than for me to receive a call from someone I just met with, asking me to repeat something that I went over in the meeting. Your notes will also be important resources for you to refer to should you have to meet or work with the other attendees in the future.

Tip # 4. When your intentions are fulfilled, end the meeting. When all is said and done, you are done. Move on. It is also important to conclude your meeting as soon as possible so that you can move on to implementing the things covered in the meeting. This will ensure that you remain consistently productive.

These tips will help you maintain valuable time that you can spend developing your business, enjoying your family, and investing in your personal development.

To Blog…Nakeia

Quick Word of Advice...

I believe that the people around me would agree that I am honest, loyal, dependable, and a person of my word. But…I came to conclusion, many years ago, that everyone is not like me…

It upsets me to hear that someone has been hurt by a friend, or is at a loss in business because a non-paying client. BUT…I believe that if you have been hurt at the hands of someone else, there were signs along the way warning you of what was to come…

For instance, you have a lying friend. You have witnessed, with your own hears, your friend lying to someone else. You think to yourself, at that very moment, wow…I can’t believe she just lied. Then, a few months pass and you are completely shocked when that same friend lies to you. Shocked…really?!? (True Story)

Here’s another example. You have a client that haggles you down to a very uncomfortable price…AND….when it’s time to pay, he only has a portion of the money. BUT…he has assured you that when Friday comes, he will have the rest of your money. Friday comes and he pays you. Then a few months pass and that same client comes to you again…haggle-ing you down to a very uncomfortable price. You agree, he complains about not having the money…gives you a portion…Friday comes…BUT…this time he does not have the rest of your money. AND, you my dear…are completely shocked?!?! Shocked…really?!? (True story)

I have a quick word of advice for you today via a very wise poet…

Believe people when they show you who they are the FIRST time ~Maya Angelou

To Blog…Nakeia

My Little Notebook...

I carry a little notebook in my purse. As my sister always reminds me, I can’t remember anything…so…I write everything down. In my notebook you will find song ideas and lyrics, poems, bible verses, inspirational quotes, grocery lists, business ideas, seminar outlines, blog titles, wish-lists, goals, phone numbers, websites to visit, and everything else that runs across my mind through out the course of a day. I started writing in my notebooks about 2 years ago. It has been extremely helpful and sort of disturbing all at the same time. My notebook has taught me that I think too much (as if my husband doesn’t tell me that enough). It has shown me how creative I am (I come up with idea after idea). It acts as a facilitator (it organizes my thoughts). It is my personal assistant (it keeps names and phone numbers of random people I meet). With today’s technology, most people store all of this stuff in their cell phone. I for one have gone though 3 phones in one year and even backup assistance couldn’t save my notes, locked text messages, and calendar. So, my little notebook will remain a staple in my life.

This weekend I sat down with my little notebooks, from the past couple of years, to review my old entries and true to its form, it taught me something else about myself. I learned that there are some carry-over goals in my life. Carry over goals are goals that one sets out to accomplish, usually by a certain time, but doesn’t, so it gets carried over to the next set of goals. As I turned the pages of my notebook I saw a few reoccurring entries. For instance, there was a book that I was supposed to read last year that I still have not read. I set a goal to run twice a week about 2 years ago, and I have yet to do that. Now here is the thing…I have read many books over the past year and I started spinning 3 days a week just about 2 years ago. So… why did I choose not to fulfill those particular goals at that time?

Is it possible to set too many goals? There is so much that I want to accomplish in my lifetime…sometimes I fear it is too much. BUT…isn’t that what life is all about? Living each day having accomplished more, dreamed more, and living a life that is full of purpose is what I preach about and… according to my notebook, I practice what I preach!

Just because you set out to do something that you have not accomplished yet, doesn’t mean you can’t do it or shouldn’t try until you succeed. There is a woman that dreamed of being a doctor but life got in her way. She married, had children, and naturally grew older. At the age of forty, she thought about becoming a nurse. She turned that thought into reality and became a RN. Still, in her heart, she wanted to become a doctor. That goal continued to be a reoccurring entry in her heart. At 54 years old that same woman who set a goal of becoming a doctor, accomplished just that!

You can do what you have purposed to do. You can never dream too big or set too many goals. You should lead a life that is full. Today, go back over that list of goals you wrote a year ago and if you see any reoccurring entries, that just mean there is more work to be done. When Mr. Richards, a ninety-eight year old athlete, was asked about his secret to a long and healthy life, he replied, I just keep adding to my list of things I want to do before I die!

To Blog…Nakeia